For a while, yes. It was love that was holding me back, but now there's nothing that can hold me here... Recently I was bawling my eyes out due to my boyfriend. He is a gamer and I've always had a habit of making him mixtapes. I gave him my final one that is symbolic of my death, but he won't know the message I left him until I'm gone. Anyway, he was playing the music while he was gaming and streaming. One of his followers asked what was the chill background music, to which he said, "It's a mix my girlfriend made for me. Isn't she sweet?" He had no idea I was watching him stream, so those words were genuine. I just lost it and cried myself to sleep. Not because I want to stay, but because it's going to hurt him.