Is ending your life because of someone else a “good” reason?

[cozse<3]

I know people tend to have different reasons for wanting to end their own life. Mine is that I got broken up with yesterday by a guy I thought was my soulmate; he posted a quote today basically saying that men only fall in love once and that after that they just "miserably look for someone who resembles their first love". It devastated me because I'd already known he had loved a girl really intensely before me and she was his "first love"; she ended up rejecting him. But anyhow, it became apparent that he compared me to her a lot and I was effectively just someone he used to get over her.

Not only this but I've actually failed in love my entire life, never had a lasting romantic relationship despite being over 18 (I won't specify what age). I'm only getting older and if what my ex said about men is true, I can never see myself being genuinely loved by a guy ever. My life besides that is not great but it's definitely not bad enough to warrant suicide; it's just the pervasive lack of love in my life has broken my will to live as well as just my heart. I've lost all hope.

I would like to hear a second opinion on whether my motive for wanting to die seems reasonable or not, to other people. It's not going to sway my decision in any direction since I understand that it would just be an opinion and nothing more.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

To me? No. Never. To you? It's your life. Or death, as the case may be. I'd never kill myself over someone else.

 

[AshClouds]

he posted a quote today basically saying that men only fall in love once and that after that they just "miserably look for someone who resembles their first love".

that isn't true, I've fallen in love multiple times in the past, and never with a someone who "resembles" any previous love. Maybe he can't move on, but there's others out there who can fall for someone else.

To me? No. Never. To you? It's your life. Or death, as the case may be. I'd never kill myself over someone else.

Yeah, I never felt that one should do it because of somebody else, I'd only do it for myself. One of my favorite quotes: "if you do it for you, it will be true"

 

[cozse<3]

To me? No. Never. To you? It's your life. Or death, as the case may be. I'd never kill myself over someone else.

Thank you for your reply. I'm just looking for a bigger/more objective perspective. (I am not and never have been against suicide.)

 

[AnonGermany]

My honest opinion is a big no for impulsive suicides.

Yet i am never gonna be in a spot where i can allow myself to judge anyones reason for wanting to die.

I already struggle to understand my own emotions and feelings. I can only GUESS how someone feels deep inside. I can only ASSUME how hurt they are, how incredibly painful a situation is for someone that is not me.

Its easy to say "get over it, you will find someone else eventually", but that is not true for everyone. Its impossible to be true for everyone.

Everyone is different. Everyones life is different. Who am i to tell anyone "just hold onto life for an unknown amount of time and no guaranteed success of being as happy as you were again".

Much blabla - what i am trying to say is: no i dont ever want to end my life on impulse, yet i accept it when others do.
It does not matter to me why they want to do it, because i will never be able to REALLY understand what they are going through in their heads. I just wish they would find the energy to give it "some time" to collect their thoughts and try to move past it, but i cant expect everyone to do that.

 

[cozse<3]

that isn't true, I've fallen in love multiple times in the past, and never with a someone who "resembles" any previous love. Maybe he can't move on, but there's others out there who can fall for someone else.

I see.

 

[cozse<3]

My honest opinion is a big no for impulsive suicides.

Yet i am never gonna be in a spot where i can allow myself to judge anyones reason for wanting to die.

I already struggle to understand my own emotions and feelings. I can only GUESS how someone feels deep inside. I can only ASSUME how hurt they are, how incredibly painful a situation is for someone that is not me.

Its easy to say "get over it, you will find someone else eventually", but that is not true for everyone. Its impossible to be true for everyone.

Everyone is different. Everyones life is different. Who am i to tell anyone "just hold onto life for an unknown amount of time and no guaranteed success of being as happy as you were again".

Much blabla - what i am trying to say is: no i dont ever want to end my life on impulse, yet i accept it when others do.
It does not matter to me why they want to do it, because i will never be able to REALLY understand what they are going through in their heads. I just wish they would find the energy to give it "some time" to collect their thoughts and try to move past it, but i cant expect everyone to do that.

I fully agree with what you said about very impulsive suicides, and this one would meet that description. I also agree that just as people choose how to live their life, it's their choice if they want to end it. I've never been against suicide but if I ever do it I want a very clear and "strong" (for lack of a better word) reason where I know I'd be able to follow through with it and feel completely confident in the choice I've made. Thank you for your reply.

 

[woh6]

I don't think a "good" or "bad" reason for suicide exists. Everyone lives their life differently and if they've thought about it and are at peace with their decision, then that's the only thing that matters. I don't think others can really judge something like that.

I understand how painful a breakup can be, especially if you thought he was going to be the one. However, this isn't your first relationship and it doesn't have to be your last. You can still find love. For now I wish you the best and I hope you heal from this

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Thank you for your reply. I'm just looking for a bigger/more objective perspective. (I am not and never have been against suicide.)

I'm not either. I'm completely pro-choice, and that means that even if you wanted to CTB because of another, I respect your choice. I'm just saying that I wouldn't. I've lived long enough to know that people come, and people go, and after some time goes by, feelings diminish. It's just a matter of getting through all of that BS until the chemicals that create those feelings of love, and such, subside. I just don't think that it's "healthy' for anyone to have that kind of power over another - that power to control whether you live or die. If someone else is, basically, controlling whether you live or die, basically making that decision for you, it's really taking away the autonomy one should have over themselves. I don't know if that makes any sense.

 

[lemonbunny]

I think it's safe to say that my will to ctb has been contributed to by several, if not most of the people in my life. So while I would not die because of one specific person, it is not an outlandish idea in principle.

 

[cozse<3]

I'm not either. I'm completely pro-choice, and that means that even if you wanted to CTB because of another, I respect your choice. I'm just saying that I wouldn't. I've lived long enough to know that people come, and people go, and after some time goes by, feelings diminish. It's just a matter of getting through all of that BS until the chemicals that create those feelings of love, and such, subside. I just don't think that it's "healthy' for anyone to have that kind of power over another - that power to control whether you live or die. If someone else is, basically, controlling whether you live or die, basically making that decision for you, it's really taking away the autonomy one should have over themselves. I don't know if that makes any sense.

It makes sense to me. Thank you

 

[SpiritualDeath]

My opinion is that ctb is not something that needs to be reasoned or "justified".
Because by saying that "you would only be understood and respected if your reasons for suicide are good or solid enough", you're agreeing to the statement that "some certain pain and suffering should be recognized while others should not". The problem is, no one can ever give plausible answers to the questions "why the double standard", "who created this standard" and "why should this exact standard be followed". It just doesn't make sense.

 

[FuneralCry]

People should be able to cease existing exactly when they wish to as it's their existence after all, I don't understand the view that suicide even needs a reason as death will happen eventually whether there is a reason behind it or not. None of us are obligated to continue enduring this existence that only leads to us ceasing to exist with all forgotten about anyway.

 

[Moonshinee]

You don't have to justify your death. But please do not make rushed, irrational descions.

 

[thatworthlessmale04]

I mean, I'm going to CTB partially because I want my mother to finally be at peace. She's been married to my bio dad for 20 years, even though they are both separated. And she only married my dad because she got preggers with me. So, with that being said, she was a single hard-working mother who had to deal with a son (me) who was giving her horrible attitudes. And she worked hard jobs at night. So, if you were to ask me, it would be different for some people. I personally wouldn't do it over someone, but of course I can't say that because I have my situation. So...yeah.