Is being ugly a valid reason for me to ctb?

[worthlessscum]

I'm very short and ugly and I can't get someone to like me if my life depended on it.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Only the person ctb'ing can decide if their reason is valid for ending their own life.

I'm guessing, based on your handle and how you describe yourself, that you don't like you. Do you want to talk about it? Lots of folks here will listen and care.

 

[MysticPerception]

I would say it's a valid reason. Anything can be a valid reason seeing as the person themselves is the one being hurt by the reason usually. It's not our place to judge you based on why you decide to ctb. It is our place however to give you love and support and let you vent as much as you like about your problems until you feel it's time for you to go. Rather that be through ctb or just leaving the site peacefully either way we're here for you.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Not for me. If that was my only problem I wouldn't ctb.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

It's up to the person. Everyone's pain is different.

 

[Chronicillness]

Looks affect every aspect of your life. I would say looks dissatisfaction is a significant form of stress. Most people with some form of body dysphoria/dysmorphia are suicidal.

 

[HereToday]

Yes. People with body dysmorphia are 30x more likely to commit suicide, so clearly hating your appearance causes a lot of distress. And as someone else mentioned, our appearance affects every aspect of life especially for women

 

[randomz]

Well, yes, it could be considered a reason i it gives you a lot of stress, but I personally don't think looks are the only thing people like about someone and I also think that one can learn to look past their opinion on their looks so they can start enjoying the other sides of life.

 

[Emily123]

it isa vaid reason for me

 

[Bandzbandz]

I have had severe body image issues for a while, but I started thinking to myself.... I should improve other qualities in myself to compensate for being clapped. I.e. I need to be the richest, smartest person I can be in order to compensate for it. Surprisingly, channeling my energy to focusing on the improvement of my other attributes has helped me push myself in other aspects for my life. I carry my ugliness with pride and I tell myself - Im ugly, but im hardworking, focused, and a .better person on most people. I think you should be like... "Okay, im ugly as hell, but Im also funny as hell, and Im going to work so hard in other aspects of my life that Ill have the prettiest bitches on the planet running to my short ugly ass" and how much you accomplish. Trust me, you'll love being ugly then!
Start working on getting your confidence, jokes, and money up and you'll see how many people will beg to suck you off for free!

 

[mathieu]

I think it could be valid reason but it really depends on how it affects your quality of life which is personal. Many people are ugly and/or short and happy/satisfied with their lives. You should consider that you may reach that point if you continue to live. Beauty fades, for every single one of us, in the end. As time goes on, the playing field will even.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Just echoing what others have said really. It's not for us to decide what's a right reason or not. That's something you can decide also, but please don't rush into anything. Exhaust every other option first and if you find yourself back at the same position, then you can at least say you've tried. We are all here to support you, whatever you end up doing.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I hate my face so much I hate my body I just hate me and want to be gone... I'm tired of been a coward... And if I was prettier in my mind I'd be more happy

 

[passenger27]

If you being "ugly" is a valid reason to CTB or not...I guess it is if you feel that strongly about it. I think ugly is a pretty harsh word myself. You have to understand, the media portrays these seemingly perfect people and it sets the bar too high for almost everybody, then they become depressed, then they're at the bus stop waiting to ride away because they're rejected by a cruel society for not being what they want you to be. These people that point their finger at you are the ugly ones, they're the monsters.

I guess I'm not ugly in a physical sense, but I have so many mental issues I feel ugly. I'm rejected by society too for being mentally ill because, again, I'm not what they want me to be. I look in the mirror and I see this average looking guy looking back at me with dead eyes, and I don't feel anything attractive at all. Just emptiness, just a void where confidence should be.

Nobody on this thread is ugly in my opinion, unless you do ugly things, and I don't have to see any of you to know that.

 

[TAW122]

I believe any reason can be a valid reason, and just because one person doesn't suffer the same does not mean that it isn't significant for another. So in short, yes your reasons are valid and people have all sorts of reasons for wanting to CTB. Appearance indeed does matter and also given how one's life (not just in the dating world, romance world) is affected by it, so I can understand your reasoning for wanting to CTB over appearance and not having success in the dating market. Ultimately, it is your decision and whether you choose to stay or CTB, I respect your decision and hope you find peace.

 

[zherhk]

It is since are both things outside our control.

 

[chris8000]

I think valid is not the best word to phrase this question, because one of its definitions is tied in with 'legal authority', and that implies some kind of external objectivity, or authority who can answer your question for certain. This does not exist.

Whether it is logical or not, to me, depends on how much you are suffering and whether there are options available to you to try to improve your situation. As @mathieu says, many ugly people are capable of living very content lives, so it may be possible to find another way of dealing with this.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I hate my face so much I hate my body I just hate me and want to be gone... I'm tired of been a coward... And if I was prettier in my mind I'd be more happy

I learned a lot from a previous friend and would like to share. You may want to skip to the next paragraph and read it first. This paragraph is about how I learned to accept someone who feels similarly to the way you do. It's about how I arrived at my response in the next paragraph. My former best friend of many years had an amazing body and was gorgeous. She had mildly discolored teeth from her mother taking an antibiotic during pregnancy, and she was extremely self-conscious about it, saw them as much worse than they were, the majority of people wouldn't notice. Her nose was slightly crooked, which I thought added character and made her more real, not classically beautiful but unique. To her it was extreme, not even close to slightly off center. She hated herself and always wanted to die. She kept going for her close relationships and her dog, but the desire to ctb was always present. No matter what good others saw in her, and there was much good, she was only able to focus on what she hated, inside and outside. I was her best friend for many years and could not convince her of her worthiness, value, and goodness. She never felt anyone understood her, and she was right. She got love and friendship, but not understanding. Eventually our friendship ended, and my life began to change in difficult ways. I finally came to understand her, and to recognize what kinds of accepting responses she really needed about her self-views and ctb. It would be unwise to renew our friendship, but I am now a better sounding board for others. I am more accepting and try much less to fix others because I know I cannot. I do believe from experience and observation that if we like ourselves, others will be more likely to like us, also that some people are not able to like themselves no matter how many people like them or try to help them achieve liking themselves. As someone who likes other people and enjoys connecting with them, it used to hurt to know there is nothing I can do to help change these mindsets. Now I hurt less because I know that what I can do is be accepting; that in itself makes a greater difference because it is no longer about me but the other person, and because all humans need acceptance, sometimes much, much more than they need something "fixed."

I accept you. You hate yourself and want to be gone. I accept that and I'm glad you're here and a part of the community, just as you are and where you are. I'm sad that you hurt because I have empathy and compassion, that is, I see your suffering and have a desire to help. But I won't try to change you. I won't try to convince you that if you do certain things you'll feel differently. I won't make your stuff about me and what *I* want for you. If you ask for input about something here, you'll receive support, caring, and acceptance for where you are, a rarity in this world. I hope that, at least, is something you find benefit from, but if not, I accept that, too. I wish you well no matter what you think, feel, do, or decide. If you didn't need this comment or received no value from it, I accept that as well.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I learned a lot from a previous friend and would like to share. You may want to skip to the next paragraph and read it first. This paragraph is about how I learned to accept someone who feels similarly to the way you do. It's about how I arrived at my response in the next paragraph. My former best friend of many years had an amazing body and was gorgeous. She had mildly discolored teeth from her mother taking an antibiotic during pregnancy, and she was extremely self-conscious about it, saw them as much worse than they were, the majority of people wouldn't notice. Her nose was slightly crooked, which I thought added character and made her more real, not classically beautiful but unique. To her it was extreme, not even close to slightly off center. She hated herself and always wanted to die. She kept going for her close relationships and her dog, but the desire to ctb was always present. No matter what good others saw in her, and there was much good, she was only able to focus on what she hated, inside and outside. I was her best friend for many years and could not convince her of her worthiness, value, and goodness. She never felt anyone understood her, and she was right. She got love and friendship, but not understanding. Eventually our friendship ended, and my life began to change in difficult ways. I finally came to understand her, and to recognize what kinds of accepting responses she really needed about her self-views and ctb. It would be unwise to renew our friendship, but I am now a better sounding board for others. I am more accepting and try much less to fix others because I know I cannot. I do believe from experience and observation that if we like ourselves, others will be more likely to like us, also that some people are not able to like themselves no matter how many people like them or try to help them achieve liking themselves. As someone who likes other people and enjoys connecting with them, it used to hurt to know there is nothing I can do to help change these mindsets. Now I hurt less because I know that what I can do is be accepting; that in itself makes a greater difference because it is no longer about me but the other person, and because all humans need acceptance, sometimes much, much more than they need something "fixed."

I accept you. You hate yourself and want to be gone. I accept that and I'm glad you're here and a part of the community, just as you are and where you are. I'm sad that you hurt because I have empathy and compassion, that is, I see your suffering and have a desire to help. But I won't try to change you. I won't try to convince you that if you do certain things you'll feel differently. I won't make your stuff about me and what *I* want for you. If you ask for input about something here, you'll receive support, caring, and acceptance for where you are, a rarity in this world. I hope that, at least, is something you find benefit from, but if not, I accept that, too. I wish you well no matter what you think, feel, do, or decide. If you didn't need this comment or received no value from it, I accept that as well.

Thank you... Your words are of comfort to me.. And I understand what you mean I come in and out of moods and feelings on how I look.... But I know ill have to accept myself.. And welcome to the forum

 

[S1mpleme]

I'm very short and ugly and I can't get someone to like me if my life depended on it.

Being ugly is a reason to me to doubt it. I don't think there are ugly people, just many people and many opinions. Even having body issues still possible to find someone who would like you. I've seen so cute people in my life, but despite that I didn't like them.

 

[Thereisnothing]

In my eyes noone is ugly, beauty lies within us who we are as people. Our outside shells/body are not us, we live in them but its not who we are. People think roses are beautiful, they are, but they have nasty thorns. Some beautiful/handsome people are cruel as those thorns, some will be lovely, same goes for people who mightn't see themselves as so attractive, good and bad. For me I never take people at face value or what they look like, size, shape etc, I see them as individual souls who matter just as much as the next. I was engaged to be married to a man who looked just like Elvis Presley, now that IS handsome, but do you know what he turned out to have a heart of stone, no beauty whatsoever, just lies and nastiness within him. I have a male friend known years who is the kindest and most genuine person you could meet. Nature didn't make him have a handsome face, but he sure is handsome inside, and to be that's all that counts.
Society is very shallow in oh so many ways, media and advertising and tv shows dont help, but just switch them off..............they dont matter, what DOES matter is who we are as individuals and how we live our lives. My fiance may have been a stunner but that meant nothing, he turned out rotten inside and thats the only type of 'ugly' in my book.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I learned a lot from a previous friend and would like to share. You may want to skip to the next paragraph and read it first. This paragraph is about how I learned to accept someone who feels similarly to the way you do. It's about how I arrived at my response in the next paragraph. My former best friend of many years had an amazing body and was gorgeous. She had mildly discolored teeth from her mother taking an antibiotic during pregnancy, and she was extremely self-conscious about it, saw them as much worse than they were, the majority of people wouldn't notice. Her nose was slightly crooked, which I thought added character and made her more real, not classically beautiful but unique. To her it was extreme, not even close to slightly off center. She hated herself and always wanted to die. She kept going for her close relationships and her dog, but the desire to ctb was always present. No matter what good others saw in her, and there was much good, she was only able to focus on what she hated, inside and outside. I was her best friend for many years and could not convince her of her worthiness, value, and goodness. She never felt anyone understood her, and she was right. She got love and friendship, but not understanding. Eventually our friendship ended, and my life began to change in difficult ways. I finally came to understand her, and to recognize what kinds of accepting responses she really needed about her self-views and ctb. It would be unwise to renew our friendship, but I am now a better sounding board for others. I am more accepting and try much less to fix others because I know I cannot. I do believe from experience and observation that if we like ourselves, others will be more likely to like us, also that some people are not able to like themselves no matter how many people like them or try to help them achieve liking themselves. As someone who likes other people and enjoys connecting with them, it used to hurt to know there is nothing I can do to help change these mindsets. Now I hurt less because I know that what I can do is be accepting; that in itself makes a greater difference because it is no longer about me but the other person, and because all humans need acceptance, sometimes much, much more than they need something "fixed."

I accept you. You hate yourself and want to be gone. I accept that and I'm glad you're here and a part of the community, just as you are and where you are. I'm sad that you hurt because I have empathy and compassion, that is, I see your suffering and have a desire to help. But I won't try to change you. I won't try to convince you that if you do certain things you'll feel differently. I won't make your stuff about me and what *I* want for you. If you ask for input about something here, you'll receive support, caring, and acceptance for where you are, a rarity in this world. I hope that, at least, is something you find benefit from, but if not, I accept that, too. I wish you well no matter what you think, feel, do, or decide. If you didn't need this comment or received no value from it, I accept that as well.

This was beautifully written, although I'm not the OP thank you for this.

 

[terry_a_davis]

Op if your problem is not being able to get a partner have you tried attracting people who are also 'short and ugly'? What i'm sort of saying is dont expect supermodels if you aren't one, be realistic, they'll be others with your attributes wanting a partner. Also, if you are physically ok, not too depressed and not already buff, you can improve the attractiveness of your body by working out. I suggest this because it worked for me. Just a thought.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Also I would like to add, as a girl it has bothered me since I developed a skin disorder (acne) which has caused me mental distress. For myself personally it's a valid reason, but it all depends on the person.

 

[Heart of Ice]

If you are a woman, no.

If you're a man, maybe.

But trust me, you're probably not as ugly as you think you are.

 

[lonley_roper]

If you're a female you can find someone. But if you're a guy then it's over for you.

 

[TheEndof]

If you're a female you can find someone. But if you're a guy then it's over for you.

I see this a lot and I get it, especially if you're not a (ugly) woman. But it's really not that simple or easy. Being an ugly woman can be just as awful as being an ugly man. Women are expected to be beautiful and dainty. Men can get away with a lot in the looks department and just be labeled as "unconventionally" attractive. There are plenty of men who date very attractive women because they have money or personality. For women? If you're ugly, good luck. A successful ugly woman isn't given nearly as much leeway as a successful ugly man. Either sex can find someone, I believe that's true no matter what. There's someone for everyone. I've seen just as many "ugly" men with partners. But going beyond just romantic partners and thinking about the advantages in life in general? I just disagree and think this perception is SO damaging to women who suffer because of this. I hate being told I have life on easy mode because I'm a woman because I know that's not true and I know I never had it any easier in the dating department, but it still makes me think, "wow I just be exceptionally ugly and disgusting then if even I can't find someone."

 

[Death.]

If you're a female you can find someone. But if you're a guy then it's over for you.

Absolutely true.

 

[terry_a_davis]

Also I would like to add, as a girl it has bothered me since I developed a skin disorder (acne) which has caused me mental distress. For myself personally it's a valid reason, but it all depends on the person.

Isotretinoin is the best acne treatment, cleared up my severe acne after i'd tried most things.

 

[Ghost2211]

We all have our own reasons for CTB, and only we can determine if our personal reasons are valid or not. I would never want to tell someone their circumstances are a reason to kill themself or not. That said beauty is in the eye of the beholder I can't imagine you are that unattractive, but I must also say I am very much curious what you look like.