Is being in love a feeling or a choice?

[EyeBeyond]

Is being in love a feeling or a choice?

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Feeling. If I could choose, I'd choose not to love my family so I could avoid the guilt and just go.

 

[goblin99]

Are we talking romantic, platonic, or familial? I think romantic and platonic love are choices. You can choose to fall in love with someone or fall out of love with them. Familial love can be a lot more complicated imo

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Is being in love a feeling or a choice?

Perhaps it is a bit of both.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Choice.
Attraction is the start of it, acting on the attraction crosses you over to being in love.
If you don't act on the attraction, then you wont be in love.

 

[F@#$]

Love is a lie.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

imo love is a choice . I choose not to partake in that bs so ....

if you know how the brain works and how to hack it ... the catch is it's a lot of hard work every day .

 

[Namarupa]

Romantic love is a trick employed by nature in order to encourage the propagation of life.

 

[Abyssal]

Never fallen in love, but if it were a choice I'm sure SaSu would be much smaller of a community.

 

[Rockman]

None of that, chemistry and effects of chemicals.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

if you know how the brain works and how to hack it ... the catch is it's a lot of hard work every day .

I'm intrigued. What exactly do you mean when you talk about hacking the brain? And, also, how does one hack the brain?

 

[Abyssal]

Ugh wait I should probably specify. Most creatures do not have lifelong partners that they stand by, making it something of an oddity that we humans do. Of course there are other creatures that do, but how are we supposed to determine why? I don't know I'm not a biologist.

Anyways, there were a species of mole rats that shared that trait that just so happened to be closely related to a species that did not maintain lifelong relationships and rather had multiple partners through its lifetime. Basically, some scientist dude was like "If we study these mole rats we will learn why some humans are whores" okay they didn't say that but that's why it was studied they just made it sound professional. The results were not one difference between the two mole rat species, but multiple differences that resulted in preference for lifelong relationships. Similar differences were found in humans as well, research still pending.

Some humans are simply more susceptible to love and they are just born that way. There isn't one love gene, there's multiple.

TLDR: the paragraph above is literally a tldr, suck my dick you mole rat

 

[dodo11]

Feeling. If I could choose, I'd choose not to love my family so I could avoid the guilt and just go.

I agree with you. It's a feeling that is hard to control.

 

[Labyrinth]

The emergence of passion is involuntary but you can choose to foster it or eradicate it.

You are correct, this feeling serves to promote animal reproduction. Some would say it is the pinnacle of life.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

It's a feeling.
It can come and go away and then come back. It's a very strange thing

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I'm intrigued. What exactly do you mean when you talk about hacking the brain? And, also, how does one hack the brain?

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[Dr Iron Arc]

"What people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed."

I wish we could really choose those we love, but even in that world nobody would love me. At least in that world though, maybe I wouldn't have chosen to develop feelings for anyone who doesn't seem to feel the same way back like I have now.

 

[nozomu]

The stage for falling in love is a feeling, cultivating and continuing that love is a choice.

 

[deathdream]

Is being in love a feeling or a choice?

It can never be a choice in my opinion.
Now obviously there's different levels of "being in love", from a little crush to someone that you aren't capable of forgetting for life, even after years of not seeing that person. As someone who sufferes that second type of love, I can defenitely say it's not escapable, it's on the same level of chronic depression, to me it gets so rooted in your head that it always stays with you, sometimes it lets you free, but it will always come back. And you will always be bonded with that person in one way or another, even if you hate them with all of you.

It would be like asking if being depressed is a feeling or a choice, sure you can act on it and pray it won't get worse, but if it does there will be nothing you can do about it.

At least that's my opinion.

 

[SexyIncél]

At the moment, I suspect it's a visceral feeling that triggers cultural knowledge. My experience of being in love changed, as different cultures reprogrammed my emotions. Since we all can create culture, I reprogram myself too

For example, the redpill manosphere altered my notion of "being in love"

Also, I had personally reprogrammed my notion of "love". Which isn't the same as "being in love", but is related

The more I let my pre-programmed emotions run amok, the fewer conscious choices I make. A recipe for disaster. (Unless that cultural programming says "be conscious about it")

---

As I understand, cognitive scientist Lisa Barrett claims emotions are basically cultural knowledge + a word that's shorthand for it

Take the word German "schadenfreude": pleasure at someone else's misfortune. Normally, it's creepy for me to be happy at someone downfall. But if I say I feel schadenfreude, people smile understandingly & there's a cultural understanding about when it's appropriate & such