Discussion Is anyone truly a loner?

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say I'm fairly comfortable being alone. I live and work alone. I haven't physically been around people other than the odd delivery driver for 9 months and then, it was a single week to see my parents.

Not sure I could get by with no human contact of any sort though. Obviously, there's here which is probably my main source of contact and there are friends I text semi regulary.

How alone are you? How comfortable are you with it? Do you feel like you choose to be alone and- why? Is it because you've had bad experiences around people?

I think for me, it's a mixture. Social anxiety tends to make socialising uncomfortable for me. I guess there have been bad experiences that put me off from quite a young age. Mostly though, I just find people unreliable and, I'm pretty all or nothing. I kind of don't want to risk making strong friendships again, only to lose them and feel disappointed.

 

[uniqueusername4]

So I just recently lost the last two people that I had in my life (estranged from family, lost last two friends), and I decided that from now on (I will probably ctb soon anyway unless this type of life ends up being better) I will only have acquaintance or neighborly like relationships. I intend on keeping the amount of persons who know my address and real phone number minimal (using a text app). I am doing this to protect my own safety and ensure no one crosses any boundaries I have.

I am in an activism group, a couple book clubs, some hiking groups, things like that. Nothing beyond group setting level of personal. Talking about how I feel or what is really going on is not safe. I do not want my health put in the hands of strangers.

If I decide to try out this lifestyle instead of ctb soon, I would want to move to a more remote part of my state and grow a lot of my own food, maybe have animals. Just live a simple life, mostly alone.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Hey I think the important distinction is if we think we are alone or lonely. Me personally, I like to think I like being alone. I do not feel any loneliness. I do socialize but only with a few people. I'd rather be alone than be hanging out with the wrong people. Just like you said, all or nothing.

We've talked a bunch here havent we lol. I think u probably fall into the alone camp. Yeah same here, lots of texting too. But for the most part, I feel peaceful living this life.

Also while i think there are people out there with strong social connections and large groups of reliable people around them ( and good for them ok), I also feel for many people, there's just his illusion of friendship. Become suicidal or get cancer or get a chronic health condition and you'll slowly see all your 'friends' become complete strangers. I'm super happy I have no such delusions about my friendships because all of my friends (just 3-5 people) are solid people.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I have to live with my family and spend most of my free time with my friends but I just feel alone because no one I've ever interacted with comes close to fully being like me in every way. One person came close to being very similar to me but I'm sure if I had spent more time with her the differences would have become more apparent.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

For me, all I've ever wanted/needed was "my person," that is, one person in my life with whom I'm highly intimate, both emotionally and physically, someone who is my utmost priority, and I theirs. I am also very "all or nothing," like you, so if it's not going to be a fully committed relationship of that nature, I'm not interested.

This means that I've spent most of my life without friends, which I have honestly been pretty comfortable with. I don't seem to feel much of a need for more casual social encounters, and that includes with family; I naturally fell out of touch with my parents after moving out, for example, and now I might see them twice a year. Not having a boyfriend, on the other hand, has been difficult and the cause of significant anguish over the years, due in large part to not having safe, predictable, wanted physical touch.

 

[Pluto]

 

[sserafim]

I'm a loner. I choose to be alone because I enjoy being alone. I don't like talking to, interacting with, or being around other people. I'm probably schizoid though. I wish I could have been a housecat or solitary animal (like a snow leopard, tiger, jaguar, etc) instead of a human so I could be free from human bullshit and annoyances. I don't want to be a part of society. I just want to be left alone to do my own thing. I want to be free from society and other people. I'm a NEET living off of my parents but they want me to eventually become a wageslave and support myself. I find this to be annoying as hell and I wish that I could be a housecat so that I wouldn't have to deal with any of the responsibilities, demands and obligations that come with being human

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah, pretty much. I like being alone and I tend to find having to interact a lot either others to be draining. I've given up on making and maintaining friendships because they are too stressful for me. I think it's also part of what makes being in a relationship difficult for me, because (besides some other issues that get in the way of me being able to or wanting to video call my bf all the time), I tend to find things like video calling and talking on the phone to be draining. This creates a bit of conflict between us because he wants us to do it all the time, while I'd prefer if we just did it every once a week. He keeps on talking about how it feels like we aren't in a real relationship because of it, which makes me feel bad.

 

[zaxxy1810]

Being alone for me is equal to death and my loneliness is now absolute. The worst thing is that I am not attracted to any other woman except her and I have broken up with her several times, she is angry with me and I no longer have access to her, although I love her more than anything .

 

[justkatie]

I am 100%.

I just have no interest in people whatsoever.

 

[Kavka]

View attachment 150139

Sad but relatable. You really get used to it.

 

[WithTheFlow]

Yes, but it's not really a choice for me due to my strong emotional aversion to judgment by people. I haven't been in a friendship since like elementary or middle school. The only contacts I have are with people who share my last name. If I'm not a loner, I don't know who could be.