Discussion Is Anyone else slowly killing themselves before they CTB?

[Backwood_tilt]

Since i decided to CTB in the past month, i've been:

Smoking a pack a day (from not smoking at all, previously),
drinking lots (from not drinking at all, previously),
not eating

even if i don't CTB ive probably taken 10 years off my already shortened life. Anyone else behaving similarly, knowing their bus is coming?

 

[George81]

Yes! I'm drinking now which I never did before and am restricting my food intake and have now reached official underweight/low BMI. I just don't really care anymore. Am looking into the SN route as it seems people on here prefer it as a 'peaceful' way to CTB whereas I was initially looking into just taking all of my leftover medication. However, thanks to people's honest answers on here it seems they would not be enough to kill me and I'm grateful to have this site to be able to discuss these kinds of things with no prejudice. If we're going to CTB surely it's better to do it in a peaceful and effective way rather than getting it wrong and end up frightened and in pain. Thank you to everyone on here, we're all in similar situations and it's so useful to have somewhere to get actual advice from x

 

[Flippy]

I'm smoking none stop almost, it's quite expensive but I'm getting a hell of a cough :-/ haven't been eating all that much either. Don't think I could start drinking though usually results in a migraine for me, never really enjoyed it and in the past just got absolutely blasted because it was the only way I could hide my anxiety when I even bothered to have a social life. Never did me any good "splendid isolation I don't need no one..." As Warren Zevon said :-) If I don't get me the cigs will it looks even odds right now :-)

 

[Roberto]

Since i decided to CTB in the past month, i've been:

Smoking a pack a day (from not smoking at all, previously),
drinking lots (from not drinking at all, previously),
not eating

even if i don't CTB ive probably taken 10 years off my already shortened life. Anyone else behaving similarly, knowing their bus is coming?

I have shortened 10 years with food. Now I have diabetes. And also I have another option to CTB : insulin overdose : just benefits.
Also there is a chance sometimes to make a overdose by drinking alcohol and loosing my perception about how I am and what I need in this matter.
I don't have money for smoking. Alcohol is cheaper.

 

[BabyYoda]

In a way I plan to, kinda want to smoke/vape to hopefully ease this fucking pain of love

 

[exhausted]

Yeah, I used to smoke for this purpose. Then I learned more about cancer and decided that this wasn't a better option. Also being an alcoholic would make things tenfold worse...however...I needlessly put myself through so much stress that I know I am destroying my body and I self-sabotagingly (that's not a word,ha) eat too much and always take the worst option health-wise. Like taking meds at wrong times or delaying going to the doctor or dentist or whatever. I am still doing ma thing, but cancer is a no-no.

 

[Girobatol]

Yes, smoking a pack a day. I eat well but I´ve been a long time smoker but before I did half a pack.

 

[can'tdoitanymore]

I guess so. Maybe not intentionally but from past suicide attempts I have pretty much destroyed my body. Have chronic pain, nerve damage, horrible scars, several concussions which have likely affected my brain. I am also underweight and can't seem to gain. Probably because I destroyed my stomach from overdoses. I don't care what I do to myself.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I upped my cigarette intake. I slowly have been not eating. Debating on adding alcohol to the mix especially since I haven't drank in 8 years. Hell one big bottle of rum might do me in. I also take walks late at night and I don't live in a great area.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Just a note to anyone considering exit bag method, apparently being a heavy/long-term smoker can introduce additional risk factors. I'm not sure what those risks are exactly or how they are measured but it may be worth double heckign with the various exit-bag/inert gas megathreads.

 

[S1mpleme]

Since i decided to CTB in the past month, i've been:

Smoking a pack a day (from not smoking at all, previously),
drinking lots (from not drinking at all, previously),
not eating

even if i don't CTB ive probably taken 10 years off my already shortened life. Anyone else behaving similarly, knowing their bus is coming?

That's not for me, I prefer something fast, can't wait that long.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Wekt back to smoking and coughing, overeating.

 

[Pan]

I smoke two packs daily. My new thing is drinking; I never drank until a year ago. Now, it's a six pack daily.

 

[Moon Flower]

I've been chainsmoking a lot when I used to smoke maybe half a cig a day. Considering trying drinking despite never having done so before.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I've been chainsmoking a lot when I used to smoke maybe half a cig a day. Considering trying drinking despite never having done so before.

As with all these things it might make it worse. It definitely dose in the long run.

But there might be some momentary relief. I don't even like to drink before but I'm loving it now lol.