Discussion Is anyone else scared of themselves?

[kite]

It's eerie how much I have in common with people like James Holmes and Jennifer Pan. One of my biggest fears is that I will do something when I am in the wrong mindset or crazy. I don't trust myself at all.

This seems to be another reason to try to CTB asap.

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm more scared of my own face than any action I might take.

 

[signifying nothing]

Yes, and I'm the only person I can't get away from :(

 

[Mentalmick]

I'm fucking terrified of myself. Last time I self harmed I nearly died from blood loss. Stuff was going everywhere.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, but not all the time.

Sometimes, I'm scared of myself because if things go extremely south, I might be capable of jumping off a building.
I always have this thought on my mind "Okay, I'll live for now but if chaos arrives, I'll just ctb. "

Maybe it's just a thought, but I find it scary to be prepared to just die when the worst-case-scenario comes lol

 

[lost_soul83]

I've got serious anger issues and I'm scared of what I might do to my child (18 years old) when I'm raging. Now keep in mind that he delights in making me as angry as he can, including hurting me physically, but I'd rather ctb than hurt my own child. Also, it's more complicated because he's disabled and has the mentality of a toddler.

 

[Mentalmick]

Yeah, but not all the time.

Sometimes, I'm scared of myself because if things go extremely south, I might be capable of jumping off a building.
I always have this thought on my mind "Okay, I'll live for now but if chaos arrives, I'll just ctb. "

Maybe it's just a thought, but I find it scary to be prepared to just die when the worst-case-scenario comes lol

I know what you mean. Although I sometimes get comfort from it knowing I've always got a way out if things get too bad.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Oh man, I'm definitely scared of myself. I feel like if I'm not holding myself back then I'll go on to do terrible terrible things to people. People are always telling me to try to be more confident but they don't understand that if I'm feeling positive or uplifted in any way then my arrogance takes over and will want to step on everyone to continue that happy feeling.

 

[aneurysm]

it's a delicate mindset to be in, I suppose you lacked the trust of those around you while growing up.

it's that lack of self-trust that is dangerous about you, not you. The only thing you should fear is the distrust itself.

 

[makingsure4]

No, I'm not afraid of myself. I worked in the healing profession for a while so something like full suspension hanging my spine from a rope or cutting my skin seems impossible to me when I worked on the spines, bones, muscles, skin and fascia of so many clients. To aide them in healing. I know I will do the right thing when it is time. And there will be a time. I'm just afraid of failing to accomplish ctb and ending up in the psyche ward as I've had a number of unsuccessful ctb attempts. I trust myself more than anyone else alive today, so I just have to hope I get it right and that the SI response won't kick in unnecessarily. I know I'm complicated so I have to check in with all the doifferent aspects of myself before making that final decision.

 

[kite]

it's a delicate mindset to be in, I suppose you lacked the trust of those around you while growing up.

it's that lack of self-trust that is dangerous about you, not you. The only thing you should fear is the distrust itself.

This is very insightful and kind of gives me some hope, thank you for replying

Oh man, I'm definitely scared of myself. I feel like if I'm not holding myself back then I'll go on to do terrible terrible things to people. People are always telling me to try to be more confident but they don't understand that if I'm feeling positive or uplifted in any way then my arrogance takes over and will want to step on everyone to continue that happy feeling.

This is all too relatable, especially the arrogance part

 

[262653]

I sometimes do when I make face before the mirror, in a dim light.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Yes, l'm a diagnosed psychopath, Thankfully l'm heavily medicated!

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm not scared of myself but I don't trust myself. In the past I have acted on the basis of my subconscious mind, meaning I acted without being aware of what I was doing. I think as humans it is sometimes hard to have control over our actions.

 

[Callie Arcale]

During panic attacks I am always scared I might do something crazy... It's the worst feeling in the world. The fear that I might not be able to control myself and lose my mind.

My god, I'm happy I'll die one day... Happy that one day I will have a panic attack and it will be my last.