Is anyone else "ok" with their depression?

[ScorpiusDragon]

This might sound strange. But I've kind of learned to be "ok" with being depressed.
I stopped taking my pills. When the depressive thoughts come ("my IRL friends abandoned me and don't really care about me, I've grown into a socially anxious wreck because of the shit I went through in my childhood, I was put on Earth to be a trophy daughter for my parents and forced into an existence that I want no part of just so they can pat themselves on the back and look good to all their friends, etc."), I don't try to stop them and "think positive." I just let the thoughts come.
Because in the end, I just think I see the world for what it is. Yeah it hurts, but it makes it easier to go. I don't think I'd be able to tolerate living with this level of situational awareness for the next ~50 years. It'll probably drive me to suicide eventually. And because of that, I'm "ok" with it because suicide means I don't have to continue living a life I never would've chosen for myself.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Honestly I'm okay with what my psychiatrist called "depression" too. I just accepted it in my case as the way that my brain works, and I don't see any problem with it. It's been months since I stopped bothering with my medications. I simply don't want to be treated for having perfectly natural emotions and for hating this world. Hell, I don't even think depression actually is a disease. For me it's more of a particular way of seeing the world. It's more rational than being optimistic all the time.

 

[oopswronglife]

I am not ok with it but I sure as pie prefer it over anxiety. Anxiety makes me feel like I am going to explode/die. Depression isn't fun but you can at least be functional on a low level and not in a state of constant fight or flight.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

i'm kinda ok with it but only if i'm dead

 

[DepressionsAHo]

This might sound strange. But I've kind of learned to be "ok" with being depressed.
I stopped taking my pills. When the depressive thoughts come ("my IRL friends abandoned me and don't really care about me, I've grown into a socially anxious wreck because of the shit I went through in my childhood, I was put on Earth to be a trophy daughter for my parents and forced into an existence that I want no part of just so they can pat themselves on the back and look good to all their friends, etc."), I don't try to stop them and "think positive." I just let the thoughts come.
Because in the end, I just think I see the world for what it is. Yeah it hurts, but it makes it easier to go. I don't think I'd be able to tolerate living with this level of situational awareness for the next ~50 years. It'll probably drive me to suicide eventually. And because of that, I'm "ok" with it because suicide means I don't have to continue living a life I never would've chosen for myself.

Nope. Hate this shit. But. I've been in it so long that i don't know how to be out of it when I start to feel halfway decent. Just recently it hasn't been as bad as it usually is and I'm not sure how to function without my brain telling me I need to die every second of the day. I've caught myself purposely triggering it because being "out" of it is an odd uncomfortable feeling
If that made sense

 

[soda_pressed]

I've learnt to be ok with it too. I've had depression for so long, it now feels like part of my personality.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

Yes I guess I feel like it's just how I am. My personality if you like. I also feel like I'm meant to ctb. I cannot see my life ending any other way.

 

[been_there]

I don't think anyone's OK with depression. You manage it as best you can with the knowledge that one day you'll stop trying. The worst thing is ever admitting to it, as once people recognise that weakness they know how to exploit it. Many people with MH issues are exploited by others for their own kicks. Certain professions attract abusers and bullies, social care, religions, schools. So many people ctb cos of stalking, bullying and harrassment. Society breeds egomaniacs and sadists, cos survival of the fittest. Empathy will eventually evolve out of humanity, its just not a useful trait for today's society.

"I just think I see the world for what it is. Yeah it hurts, but it makes it easier to go."

This is about right.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I don't think anyone's OK with depression. You manage it as best you can with the knowledge that one day you'll stop trying. The worst thing is ever admitting to it, as once people recognise that weakness they know how to exploit it. Many people with MH issues are exploited by others for their own kicks. Certain professions attract abusers and bullies, social care, religions, schools. So many people ctb cos of stalking, bullying and harrassment. Society breeds egomaniacs and sadists, cos survival of the fittest. Empathy will eventually evolve out of humanity, its just not a useful trait for today's society.

"I just think I see the world for what it is. Yeah it hurts, but it makes it easier to go."

This is about right.

For me, depression just brings me closer to my desired goal--suicide. And that's why I'm ok with it. I don't want to "keep fighting." I just want to accept it and allow it to eventually drive me towards my final goal.
I don't want to "get help" for my problems anymore. Whether it's meds or therapy. Therapy is just pure bullshit in my opinion. Meds numb the feelings for a bit, but they don't take away the root causes leading to my depression (childhood abuse, social anxiety, etc).

 

[Snake]

Depression is nothing, it's even not worth messing with SSRI, because you can end up with PSSD which is million times worse.

 

[whoisdead12]

Yeah, I'm okay being depressed. I try it as hard as can, give the best of me and the result? this is all I get.It's okay being depressed because makes my desire to die rise every day.

 

[deshper]

I get what you mean. I've been this way for so long that I've become comfortable in my depression, if that makes sense. I'm okay with it, once I accepted that is what I'm always going to feel and that my life won't ever change, it made leaving this world much easier. I feel a calm readiness because of that acceptance.

 

[Life sucks]

I'm used to it if that what it means to be ok. Not only depression but many other mental illnesses.

I use distractions also to be more ok with it. Although sometimes the pain become unbearable and makes me want to ctb immediately.

I think one can be ok with it but what's wrong is how people are ok with the shit called life

 

[inconsequential]

Of course I'm okay with it. It's all I've ever known. I was placed on Earth to suffer.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

There may be a way to be in the world where you can be aware of the horror and
not be depressed , but I think that might actually be THE mental illness.


" Oh yes ...I've suffered depression too ! Now I work out and do lengths in the pool !
You can too ! Life is hard ! You just need to focus and set goals and be stronger ! "
( Random Doctor assessing me in crisis years ago ; my interpretation ?
Be a dog eat dog cannibalizing nazi and knife your way through life because it's all a nightmare and to pretend that their are any fine feelings or principles or morals worth living for or by is naive and weak . - and people are aghast as to the source of violence in the world ! )

 

[Kuolema]

I think I'm ok with being depressed because if I'm happy I'm constantly worrying that something is going to ruin my mood, which usually happens anyway. When you're always sad, tragedy doesn't seem so shocking when it inevitably happens.

 

[Theon]

I am not ok with it but I sure as pie prefer it over anxiety. Anxiety makes me feel like I am going to explode/die. Depression isn't fun but you can at least be functional on a low level and not in a state of constant fight or flight.

Yeah anxiety sufferer here. I wish I was just depressed. Anxiety is the worst feeling in the world.

 

[deathenvoy]

I am not ok with it but I sure as pie prefer it over anxiety. Anxiety makes me feel like I am going to explode/die. Depression isn't fun but you can at least be functional on a low level and not in a state of constant fight or flight.

I have depression mixed with high anxiety. I think one perpetuates another so I don't know how they can be separated.

 

[BlasianGuy]

Hey,

New to the community but I understand what you are going through. It has become part of my normal life and doesn't interfere with those around me. I've just accepted that my brain works differently from others and I've learned how to cope with it(for the most part) and take it a day at a time. The way I see it there a worse things a person can be or do to people than simply having depression.

 

[Velia]

I guess now I'm fine with having depression as part of my life forever and cannot see myself ever being without it.

 

[Ashpac]

I know what you mean OP about being okay with it. I know I'm never going to get what I want and will leave this world through unnatural courses. That's why the little things that bother other people I don't see the point in it anymore because one day I will be incinerated anyways.
Nothing matters in this temporary thing we call life.

 

[Notlivingjustbreathi]

I've tried to make friends with it, most days I can deal with it but other days it's so overwhelming I can't cope, I hate it when people say things will get better I will get better, but unless they've been through it themselves they really have no idea, All I see is a future full of darkness and misery. It's affected my family, and I have no friends. I Don't think I will ever be okay with depression.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

I've learnt to live with it, but I'm not... "Ok".

 

[dandan]

Just like a fish can't recognize water.

 

[dandan]

There may be a way to be in the world where you can be aware of the horror and
not be depressed , but I think that might actually be THE mental illness.


" Oh yes ...I've suffered depression too ! Now I work out and do lengths in the pool !
You can too ! Life is hard ! You just need to focus and set goals and be stronger ! "
( Random Doctor assessing me in crisis years ago ; my interpretation ?
Be a dog eat dog cannibalizing nazi and knife your way through life because it's all a nightmare and to pretend that their are any fine feelings or principles or morals worth living for or by is naive and weak . - and people are aghast as to the source of violence in the world ! )

This sounds in my mind like something I want to read about , you got any book with a relative point of view, eat the world before it eats you, something like that....

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

The Awakened Ape by Jevan Pradas

That was helpful.

I come from a point of view that culture is not your friend and civilization is toxic.
( Sure , hygiene and modern medicine and technology are pleasant but we are not evolved for it .)

I am interested in Wim Hoff also but am not onto it enough to get into it ...

Generally , the concept of the difference between 'legitimate suffering' and neurotic suffering is an interesting and fruitful avenue of investigation .

@dandan - I think you would benefit from research ... it will increase your empathy for
the head doctors and professionals as to the myriad of models there are out there
about the psyche .

I used to be grumpy about useless therapists ... but they are only human and it is a huge evolving 'field' .

Best of luck ... whichever way it goes , as they say .

 

[Codieb1]

Yep. It was difficult trying to accept that life never gets better but now I feel it's for the best that I just accept depression. Holding on to false hope only makes me feel worse about everything

 

[vulturecyclop]

I've lived with it for so long that it's part of who I am now. Just like my nihilism and self deprecation, it's how I function socially and as someone else commented, my view of the world. I'm also not okay with it. Although lately I've been getting number as time passes, all the years I've spent crying have made me face look awful. It's also extremely draining and tiring to pretend to be okay/happy/not look like suicidal trash, because that's awkward and makes people sad. No one actually cares to help tbh, it's a matter I have to handle myself by ctb eventually...living for the sake of others is the absolute worth

 

[Numbtopain97]

I've lived with depression my whole life so I'm kinda used to it .

 

[Xaphous]

I'm used to it but the permanent isolation leads to rage. Living without any form of expression, including any social contact. I'm not ok with it but have been trapped in it my whole life and of course there is zero understanding or advice. Forced to kill myself or continue the relentless suffering.