I think baby-steps and exposure would be the way to go about treating your agoraphobia on your own, but I can't fix my own psych problems so I'm guessing that it would only work in theory.
Agreed. In theory that could work, but not without significant outside support. Doing it on my own will simply never happen. Accounting for hypotheticals to that effect feels tantamount to fantasy level thinking, the same as if I stepped out my door and somehow ended up in Middle Earth, or whatever. I do not possess the necessary emotional wherewithal or inner ability to accomplish anything remotely comparable. Even with outside support, there'd be no guarantees. However, the world does not have the time/resources/inclination to help someone like me, so I'm basically fucked forever in this regard.
By the way, I never knew you didn't struggle with social anxiety. You're light years ahead of me in that case.
By the way, you sound like a Hermit senpai to me, to be honest. And, I'm only looking for death now as well. Being able to accept your situation with such a level of detachment and embracing the end so calmly, I kind of admire you.
Well, it's true that I do think about death constantly. It's always entered my head at least once every day for the past 10 years or so. You'd think that would desensitize me to the idea/reality of it and, for the most part, it has. Still, I sometimes wonder how my body would react if placed in a situation where death was imminently certain. I feel like my survival instinct would probably kick in, which even now I can't help, but shake my head about since death is what I've been waiting literally more than half my life for. Even if I were to runaway to safety I'd simply be left with once again experiencing my painfully shitty and empty life which would one day lead to my inevitable death anyway. So it's like, I'd have to tell myself, "C'mon man, just relax. This is what you wanted, isn't it? You've focused on it for years upon years now. Here's your chance to finally step through the exit door out of all this nightmarish crap called life. Don't let your survival instinct ruin it all and self-sabotage your chance at true freedom." I hate how the body can unconsciously assert itself in times such as these. The body is just a machine that wants to stay in operation. It doesn't care what "you" or "I" really want.
Nevermind, the world is ending
Yes, indeed it is. Climate chaos and nuclear war have made certain of that.
I dislike how big it is, and how I should be careful with how far I'm going, for I'll have to traverse the same distance on my way back to the crib.
These would also be concerns of mine had I the ability to actually go anywhere by myself. On top of this, the world outside is also very boring and dreary. Even if I could go out there, there's nowhere to go and nothing to do. The only thing that motivates me whenever I'm outside is a desperate desire to return home. In a weird way, I've sometimes thought that the only kinds of walks that would work for me are ones where I could be dropped off at some random location around town and then I try to get back home ASAP, since it's the only destination that matters to me.
I am diagnosed with social agoraphobia. I can leave my house on my own, that's not the issue. It's once I'm out a huge sense of 'panic ' takes over and I end up having panic attacks.
For me, it's also largely social agoraphobia that troubles me, since I'm not technically afraid of the outside world at all, but I am afraid of being alone in having to navigate it. Someone who's classically agoraphobic simply has an irrational fear of the outside world. However, this doesn't stop them from having friends, or talking over the phone, or even getting into relationships potentially. In my case, I suffer the arguably worst form of this condition where although I can go outside and have no actual fears about it as it exists to navigate in, I could never do so independently and by myself. This is then compounded by the social agoraphobia preventing me from ever meeting someone who might be able to help me with this problem. Without my mother, I'd literally be trapped forever in this house, even though the outside world on the face of it really doesn't bother me at all.
I was forced to do so today though for an in-person doctor appointment, which was torturous because my body doesn't function properly and I'm so self-conscious going outside and being around other people my age who are happy & healthy.
Yeah, same. Whenever I go for drives with my mother, it can be painful to see people walking about or laughing in restaurants who are otherwise normal and can live their lives without anything standing in their way. It's not fair. Why the fuck do I have to be this way? Even people with terminal illnesses or physical deformities aren't as fucked as I am, since there's isn't even the slightest chance I'll ever be able to do anything on my own, or ever have my own life.
I also really dislike appointments. The lead up to them is the worst. Psychologically I pretty much have to psyche myself up as best I can, but it's always still a very tense and anxiety inducing situation. Like with everything else, my mother accompanies me every step of the way, even right into the doctor's office itself. The same is also true with the occasional dentist appointment. My mother will follow me into the dental hygienists area and sit by me the whole time while they're cleaning my teeth. I mean, she kind of has to, since otherwise I just couldn't do it. It's nice because she usually talks their ear off which, for me, makes me feel more comfortable, since it helps me to feel invisible.
Exactly. Nothing does work, at least not without the necessary factors. I'd need tremendous outside involvement and resources to even have the slightest hope of getting anywhere with this, but that would require a lot of monetary and social capital that I simply don't, nor will ever have. Things might be technically fixable here, but without enough resources, it's effectively made moot. A broken bridge could be technically repaired, but without a construction crew coming in with the necessary materials, it'll simply remain as it is forever. A bridge can't fix itself and neither can someone as mentally troubled as myself who's bankrupt of any outside opportunities or reasons to do anything.
