From my experience, it's just so much more comfortable.
To "get better" we have to do so much, put so much effort in it, using energy a lot of us just don't have anymore.
We have to figure out what to do, find the energy to somehow do it regardless of how tired we are, and hope it works, if it doesn't we have to try something else.
Rinse and repeat.
And for what?
If things change for the best, there's always the chance of losing this progress and going back to being miserable, which will hurt even worse than before.
Not only that, but you don't have to work hard just to get better, but to stay better too, it's a constant battle for the rest of your life.
Some even comes down to pure luck, due to the randomness and absolute twisted reality that is this life.
It takes so much to just, you know, live.
Even if everything seems fine, like you're doing it, in the blink of an eye everything could go wrong, that's how life is.
Suicide is just so much certain, like, i'm gonna do this thing, and it'll be over, i'll never be sad anymore, i'll never feel a thing at all from now on.
And that's that, no more effort, no more fear, no more exhaustion, no more misery, nothing can go wrong anymore because nothing will happen in the first place.
Also, when you're already stuck in a hole, it's much easier to stay there than climbing out.
Add to that the fact that suicide by itself is already easier than getting better somehow, and what we have is a very obvious choice.
To some of us, due to how tired we are, the choice is kind of made for us, we just don't have it in us anymore
So we just stay the way we already are, waiting for the inevitable to finally give us some relief.
Sorry if that was too dark or pessimistic, but it's just how i'm feeling about it right now, i've accepted that i'm weak and that i'll stick to this comfort.
Even though it will kill me.
