Venting Is anybody else here unable to access a relatively peaceful method?

[ijustwishtodie]

I already feel like an alien when comparing myself to normal people but I also feel like an alien here as well due to how it seems like that people here have a relatively peaceful way of getting out of here... that way mainly being SN. It doesn't feel like there's anybody else here aside from FC who is unable to access a decent method but perhaps I'm wrong.

In my case, I can't access SN because I live with parents who are super strict and always like to spy on me. I'll never be able to get SN whilst I'm living with them as I can't go outside on my own without their permission nor can I order anything on my own. The issue is that I won't ever be able to escape my parents as I don't have the necessary skills to be independent nor do I have any desires to be independent as I always take the path of least resistance and being independent = more resistance due to it being more responsibilities.

Because of my parents, I can't access most suicide methods. At best, I could attempt drowning myself in a random nearly lake/river but I'd have to sneak outside late at night and even then I'm worried that won't work as my parents are super light sleepers and will most likely wake up when I try to leave the house. Additionally, even if I were to successfully escape, I wouldn't have much time as my parents wake up in the middle of the night to read an islamic prayer.

I envy people here so much as they seem like they can easily access SN. If I had access to SN, I'd be gone a long time ago. I'm not staying alive because there's anything in life that I enjoy or want to do... no, I'm only staying alive because I'm forced to as I don't have a guaranteed and peaceful way out of here.

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who's like this. Actually, no, it'd be better if I was the only one as then everybody else here can easily escape existence but surely life isn't only cruel to me, right? I'm in so much pain just thinking about this. It hurts way too much :(

 

[Hunterer]

No, life isn't just cruel to you. I also don't have access to the common methods that most people would use. I'm also not independent, I don't have money, and so I can't buy the resources I need to put the methods into practice. I also don't have the freedom to go out, because I still live with my family, and I have to explain and justify pretty much every action I take to them. My only option would be to sneak out.

Because of these problems, I've also been thinking about drowning myself in a lake or something similar, but the chances of that going wrong are very high, for several reasons. But if everything goes well, I'll have some money at the end of the month and I'll try to buy SN discreetly. I hope everything works out, both for me and for you. None of us deserves to continue suffering, for whatever reason.

In short, my situation is very similar to yours.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, life isn't just cruel to you. I also don't have access to the common methods that most people would use. I'm also not independent, I don't have money, and so I can't buy the resources I need to put the methods into practice. I also don't have the freedom to go out, because I still live with my family, and I have to explain and justify pretty much every action I take to them. My only option would be to sneak out.

Because of these problems, I've also been thinking about drowning myself in a lake or something similar, but the chances of that going wrong are very high, for several reasons. But if everything goes well, I'll have some money at the end of the month and I'll try to buy SN discreetly. I hope everything works out, both for me and for you. None of us deserves to continue suffering, for whatever reason.

In short, my situation is very similar to yours.

Oh wow, aside from how you could potentially buy SN at the end of the month, my situation sounds exactly the same to yours. I'm sorry for your suffering and I hope that you're able to get that SN since it's far, far better than having to rely on drowning in a random lake

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Yes, unfortunately.

 

[Hunterer]

Oh wow, aside from how you could potentially buy SN at the end of the month, my situation sounds exactly the same to yours. I'm sorry for your suffering and I hope that you're able to get that SN since it's far, far better than having to rely on drowning in a random lake

Yes, but it's hypothetical. I might be able to buy it, but I might not be able to buy it. The only good thing is that I live in a country where the sale of NS is legal, but it doesn't help much, since I don't have the money or the privacy to store it in a suitable place. Not only that, but I would still have to buy the antiemetics needed to put the method into practice if I manage to buy NS. But, if I can't buy it, I have 2 options: the first is to wait until I get a larger amount to cover all the expenses of the method, and the second option is to use the drowning method, which I know will be incredibly painful. I really hope I don't have to put the second option into practice.

 

[Deleted member 98675]

SN isn't my ideal method. It has downsides. I'd rather shoot myself in the head and be gone instantly rather than waiting around. Guns aren't an option for me.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

SN isn't my ideal method. It has downsides. I'd rather shoot myself in the head and be gone instantly rather than waiting around. Guns aren't an option for me.

Unfortunately, guns aren't an option for me as well due to how I am in a country that has strict gun laws. Personally, I'd take SN over guns as I prefer poison related methods based on how it sounds but I can't access either of them anyway

 

[Arachno]

Yeah, I don't have access to any good methods either, I also live with my family so that complicates things. I wanna commit suicide with a gun and I don't think I have to explain why I can't easily get one. The only methods I have access are of the least ideal ones, train or drowning. I've considered the train method before but the loud sounds of a coming train are already unsettling and at that point, the entire method becomes terrifying. Drowning is a very uncomfortable and scary method imo.
I consider hanging time to time but I think I would mess all up if I somehow managed to make a noose. I'm also not planning to even try to get SN.

 

[Buh-bye!]

I already feel like an alien when comparing myself to normal people but I also feel like an alien here as well due to how it seems like that people here have a relatively peaceful way of getting out of here... that way mainly being SN. It doesn't feel like there's anybody else here aside from FC who is unable to access a decent method but perhaps I'm wrong.

In my case, I can't access SN because I live with parents who are super strict and always like to spy on me. I'll never be able to get SN whilst I'm living with them as I can't go outside on my own without their permission nor can I order anything on my own. The issue is that I won't ever be able to escape my parents as I don't have the necessary skills to be independent nor do I have any desires to be independent as I always take the path of least resistance and being independent = more resistance due to it being more responsibilities.

Because of my parents, I can't access most suicide methods. At best, I could attempt drowning myself in a random nearly lake/river but I'd have to sneak outside late at night and even then I'm worried that won't work as my parents are super light sleepers and will most likely wake up when I try to leave the house. Additionally, even if I were to successfully escape, I wouldn't have much time as my parents wake up in the middle of the night to read an islamic prayer.

I envy people here so much as they seem like they can easily access SN. If I had access to SN, I'd be gone a long time ago. I'm not staying alive because there's anything in life that I enjoy or want to do... no, I'm only staying alive because I'm forced to as I don't have a guaranteed and peaceful way out of here.

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who's like this. Actually, no, it'd be better if I was the only one as then everybody else here can easily escape existence but surely life isn't only cruel to me, right? I'm in so much pain just thinking about this. It hurts way too much :(

I am actually in the exact situation as yours and my parents too act the same like yours do. can't order SN or go out to buy it without suspicion neither can i escape the house without them knowing ( usually ). that being the only reason why i can't do anything and it's been 11 or something months now. not having access to a method + parents constantly trying to aid in your betterment, you just tend to stay alive longer. i did manage to find an online link for SN from a reliable source, thereafter i was gonna ask someone from outside to order it and keep it with them and when the time would be right i'd take it from them and sneak it inside the house. but unforutnately, they fucking realized this whole plan of mine and confronted me on it.z

now i just think of night night, partial or hanging. not much to do i suppose. sorry

Unfortunately, guns aren't an option for me as well due to how I am in a country that has strict gun laws. Personally, I'd take SN over guns as I prefer poison related methods based on how it sounds but I can't access either of them anyway

which country is that if you don't mind me asking

 

[ijustwishtodie]

which country is that if you don't mind me asking

I'm in the UK

 

[SNastablesalt]

Yeah, I don't have access to any good methods either, I also live with my family so that complicates things. I wanna commit suicide with a gun and I don't think I have to explain why I can't easily get one. The only methods I have access are of the least ideal ones, train or drowning. I've considered the train method before but the loud sounds of a coming train are already unsettling and at that point, the entire method becomes terrifying. Drowning is a very uncomfortable and scary method imo.
I consider hanging time to time but I think I would mess all up if I somehow managed to make a noose. I'm also not planning to even try to get SN.

In the exact same boat.. can't get a gun as I live in the uk, still live with my family so cant get a gun or sn (my packages are searched bc I bought stuff for the night night method..) I've tried partial hanging in the past but failed, full suspension is too scary for me. My ideal method would be train, but I cannot cope with knowing I'll bring trauma to the witnesses. I don't know what to do, I just want a way out.

 

[skylight7]

I already feel like an alien when comparing myself to normal people but I also feel like an alien here as well due to how it seems like that people here have a relatively peaceful way of getting out of here... that way mainly being SN. It doesn't feel like there's anybody else here aside from FC who is unable to access a decent method but perhaps I'm wrong.

In my case, I can't access SN because I live with parents who are super strict and always like to spy on me. I'll never be able to get SN whilst I'm living with them as I can't go outside on my own without their permission nor can I order anything on my own. The issue is that I won't ever be able to escape my parents as I don't have the necessary skills to be independent nor do I have any desires to be independent as I always take the path of least resistance and being independent = more resistance due to it being more responsibilities.

Because of my parents, I can't access most suicide methods. At best, I could attempt drowning myself in a random nearly lake/river but I'd have to sneak outside late at night and even then I'm worried that won't work as my parents are super light sleepers and will most likely wake up when I try to leave the house. Additionally, even if I were to successfully escape, I wouldn't have much time as my parents wake up in the middle of the night to read an islamic prayer.

I envy people here so much as they seem like they can easily access SN. If I had access to SN, I'd be gone a long time ago. I'm not staying alive because there's anything in life that I enjoy or want to do... no, I'm only staying alive because I'm forced to as I don't have a guaranteed and peaceful way out of here.

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who's like this. Actually, no, it'd be better if I was the only one as then everybody else here can easily escape existence but surely life isn't only cruel to me, right? I'm in so much pain just thinking about this. It hurts way too much :(

I feel the same way as SN seems nearly impossible to find. I don't know how the people on this site found and got it as it seems impossible. I'm from the United States. Maybe it's easier to get if you live in other countries. Doesn't see possible to get in the US though. It's cruel how impossible it is to access peaceful ways to CTB if one wants to do so.

 

[warriorkot]

it's very hard and expensive. i blame myself for not trying hard enough

 

[ctb_warrior]

I am in the same boat. Can't find a suitable method to ctb

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I am in the same boat. Can't find a suitable method to ctb

Same here. I'm sorry for your suffering

 

[ctb_warrior]

Same here. I'm sorry for your suffering

Absolutely same as your situation. It's sad that we can't find peace and we can't find life either. It's alright dear, we are in the exact same boat. May we find our peace.
I have ordered ropes to attempt partial hanging. I'm not confident about it though. Because i don't have a good anchor point.