Is addiction driving your CTB thoughts?

[Exact Change]

I'm an alcoholic. With the booze comes loneliness, guilt, and plenty of self-hate. It keeps bringing me back here. It's a terrible cycle. But I feel it's probably pretty common.

Any other addicts out here?

 

[lita-lassi]

about a year and a half ago i had a stint where i took xanax for too long without realizing what id done due to stress and lack of coping skills. id gotten addicted mentally as well and had to deal with mild benzo withdrawals when i finally decided to get clean. never fucking again lol. im currently almost done with withdrawals from thc. i was using being high as a kite 24/7 to mask some extra bad shit for a while. it took a minute to taper off and i lost about 10lbs in less than 2 weeks, have bad headaches, insomnia was already heinous but now i near-actually don't sleep and recall more of my nightmares when i do. i needed to puke constantly (still do at night tbh), at one point i couldn't walk around without blacking out from blood pressure drops, had a near od with ketamine due to a bad panic attack in the process, had to deal with all the emotions id been masking slamming back into me full force . i felt broken from crying. it sucks hippo ass to be actually sober but no personal advancement happens for me otherwise and one of the few victories i have is being able to control my substance use, so i tell myself its a way to "better". i wasnt physically addicted to much else but mentally i still struggle hard and often daily to not reach for the ketamine, molly, acid, mushrooms, xanax, antihistamines and several other things on hand, even knowing full well they will hurt me. i won't keep booze in my place for this exact reason, it's too fucking easy to lie to myself and say ill stop or it will feel better. i hope you find ease from your addictions op

 

[Moxim]

I have been suffering from a chronic amphetamine-use-disorder for more or less 10 years now. Every once in a blue moon, I'll take them and what I do under the effects actually ends up being productive, and my life improves. Because of this, I never want to not have access to them. I experience anxiety if I don't have access to stimulants. I'm more concerned with having them in my possession rather than actually taking them. Amphetamines, prescription and illicit, have had a very profound effect on my life during the last pivotal decade of it.