Irl friend wants to ctb with me. Bad idea?

[valentine]

Long story short I've reconnected with a friend after we broke up awhile ago, he knows I want to ctb and wants to go with me.

planning on doing SN - I can get meto and benzos myself so that won't be an issue. Plan is to do it in a motel room.

I made the offer for him to join while I was drunk & trying to figure out if it's actually a good idea. I told him he's allowed to back out at any time as long as he doesn't tell anyone about my plan.

I just don't really know what to do. I have my doubts but I don't want to die alone. I haven't had much luck finding a partner here. I wouldn't be relying on him for any of the supplies either. What would you do?

 

[fat feet]

Long story short I've reconnected with a friend after we broke up awhile ago, he knows I want to ctb and wants to go with me.

planning on doing SN - I can get meto and benzos myself so that won't be an issue. Plan is to do it in a motel room.

I made the offer for him to join while I was drunk & trying to figure out if it's actually a good idea. I told him he's allowed to back out at any time as long as he doesn't tell anyone about my plan.

I just don't really know what to do. I have my doubts but I don't want to die alone. I haven't had much luck finding a partner here. I wouldn't be relying on him for any of the supplies either. What would you do?

I do not trust anyone, so I would not do it with anyone else. I have seen how the very people that you trust will stab you in the back when they are done with you.

 

[voidman]

I do not trust anyone, so I would not do it with anyone else. I have seen how the very people that you trust will stab you in the back when they are done with you.

Same I could never trust anybody that much. I can only think of hundreds of things that could go wrong. To each his/her own tho.

 

[fat feet]

Same I could never trust anybody that much. I can only think of hundreds of things that could go wrong. To each his/her own tho.

I agree do what works for you. lol, I have issues.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

Adding more people makes going through with plans much more complicated. Lets say you ctb and he backs out or vice versa. That is a position I imagine would be extremely difficult to live with.

 

[WornOutLife]

I agree with the above comments. It's hard to trust people for something like CTB and I've read many stories about one of the suicidal person regretting everything and "saving" his/her friend/whatever person he CTB with.
That's why when I tried (and clearly failed), it was always just me.)

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'd like to know more before making an assessment. Why did your friendship break up?

 

[fat feet]

I'd like to know more before making an assessment. Why did your friendship break up?

Excellent question. I am being selfish.

 

[valentine]

Thanks for all the advice. I understand having more people complicates it, but I really don't want to die alone. That's why I've really tried to find a partner here but nothing's worked out.

it wasn't a friendship but a romantic relationship that lasted about 9 months. We broke up because after COVID started, he moved in with me and it was just clear we weren't compatible at the time. He was messy & had issues with procrastination and I was too mentally ill to be dating anyone. We didn't talk for a few months and just recently have been spending time together again.

 

[voyager]

Have some mistrust as well. People obviously. You just can't tell really. Never maybe? But more than that it's the situation. I kinda expect something to go wrong anyway. I really do. Maybe get found by some idiot hiker who needed to take as stroll five miles into a secluded forest at 2:00am, or the method not working for some absurd reason, or panicking and calling emergency services, or God knows what, but adding another person into the equation just seems to increase that chance. Maybe just to wake again, bound and gagged, then tortured in seedy sadistical sex games for years, eek. It's paranoid but everything's possible.

Having said that, it also depends somewhat on the method. I'd be more uncomfortable with a delayed method like SN or hanging knowing that in that time my partner could have a change of heart or something. Not so with an instant method, you do it and it's over.

 

[valentine]

Also wanted to mention we're planning for mid October so it's not time sensitive. He might back out but I doubt it. He seems like he's really ready to ctb. I need to think about it a lot and figure out if it's really the best idea. I feel completely lost right now.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Issues with procrastinating is a red flag for this situation.

If it were me, I would consider the biggest issue: trust. I'd go through this acronym and determine if he has proven safe to invest this kind of trust in.

Then I would list out all the ways trust would be required, and based on his consistent past actions, consider if he has proven to be trustworthy enough to do this with. Things like:

Can I rely on him not to tell anyone about my plan, the location, the date, etc.?

Will he follow through or bail?

If he's backed against a wall, will he throw me under the bus?

If he succeeds and I survive, can I handle being arrested and prosecuted for assisting in a suicide?

Is he cool under pressure?

Etc.

 

[valentine]

Issues with procrastinating is a red flag for this situation.

If it were me, I would consider the biggest issue: trust. I'd go through this acronym and determine if he has proven safe to invest this kind of trust in.

Then I would list out all the ways trust would be required, and based on his consistent past actions, consider if he has proven to be trustworthy enough to do this with. Things like:

Can I rely on him not to tell anyone about my plan, the location, the date, etc.?

Will he follow through or bail?

If he's backed against a wall, will he throw me under the bus?

If he succeeds and I survive, can I handle being arrested and prosecuted for assisting in a suicide?

Is he cool under pressure?

Etc.

Thanks, this is very helpful

 

[dec132013]

For legal reasons its an incredibly risky/bad idea. Besides potentially going to prision, if one of you lives and starts getting better you may feel super guilty about the other not having the same opportunity.

Imo the only pro is not having to die alone, but there are a fuckton of cons that make me think its not worth it.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I personally wouldn't do it. Sorry. I just don't trust other people

 

[Meditation guide]

I need to think about it a lot and figure out if it's really the best idea.

It's a VERY bad idea. I've had people I thought I could count on for important things mess everything up. This is way too important to try to depend on someone else and from what you said, this is not a reliable person.

You need to do this alone.

 

[valentine]

Alright. I'll be making my plans to do it alone. Thanks everyone.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Keep in mind that friend or not, that is a very big risk that you are taking. Your friend may not only chicken out but rat you out as well. I wouldn't if I were you but that's just my own opinion. I understand that the offer is very tempting.

 

[valentine]

Thanks. Yes, the risk is too high. I'll be sad to ctb alone but I don't want to mess this up.

 

[checkouttime]

when it involves two people, it becomes a whole different ball game.

more chance of getting caught, details being leaked, getting into serious trouble if one survives etc

I'm not saying do/do not just have a think about it. out of all the 'problems' that could arise. my main concern would be surviving and the other person not, and being prosecuted( i think that happens). and i am the least person could be arsed about police, but if you tried to CTB and survive i imagine your not going to be in a good state to run etc!)

I can understand why people might like to go this way though

 

[Captive of Mind]

That would be such a difficult decision to make. I want a partner to do this with so bad, but my rational mind tells me there are too many risks. I know it hurts to make this call, but I think the potential danger outweighs the comfort that it could bring.

 

[Ghost2211]

It sounds too risky and unpredictable to me.

 

[Coping Wizard]

I also have a friend in the meatspace that holds the exact viewpoints on life and suicide hes pretty much my only friend and I have several specific suicide plans and methods that I have thought out in my head that could easily be done if he assists me in my plans or he can join me if he also wants to.