Venting Intro and rant

[7thundercloud]

Hello, my name is Thunder and im a 18 yo trans male. I have been depressed since I was 10 years old, and I have had suicidal thoughts for about the same time. The reason why I'm here is to either, recover and be in a better place than where I am now or, to come to peace with my suicidal thoughts and end my life without hesitating. I have attempted before, about 3 times. Honestly, I am leaning more towards just accepting my death. I don't see the value in life, no matter how many times people tell me it's beautiful and I have much to explore. I don't think these views will change. I don't feel happy anywhere, and everything people do to make me feel better seems like a facade. I've tried to call out for help to my mother, she took me home from school and was caring for me the entire weekend but, it didn't make me feel better. I don't know the best way to CTB, and I am still scared but I know that feeling won't ever to away. Maybe I can find a painless and calming way to CTB. I hope to have a nice time here, thank you.

 

[man_in_red:)]

Welcome and enjoy your stay!

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

Hello, my name is Thunder and im a 18 yo trans male. I have been depressed since I was 10 years old, and I have had suicidal thoughts for about the same time. The reason why I'm here is to either, recover and be in a better place than where I am now or, to come to peace with my suicidal thoughts and end my life without hesitating. I have attempted before, about 3 times. Honestly, I am leaning more towards just accepting my death. I don't see the value in life, no matter how many times people tell me it's beautiful and I have much to explore. I don't think these views will change. I don't feel happy anywhere, and everything people do to make me feel better seems like a facade. I've tried to call out for help to my mother, she took me home from school and was caring for me the entire weekend but, it didn't make me feel better. I don't know the best way to CTB, and I am still scared but I know that feeling won't ever to away. Maybe I can find a painless and calming way to CTB. I hope to have a nice time here, thank you.

Hi Thunder, I hope you can find someone here you can connect to and find this a safe space to let out your feelings.

I'm not sure if you know this or not so I felt like I should mention it but you can unlock certain features of the site with more messages like PMs and chatting.

 

[undertheskin]

hey I'm sorry, hang in there, I feel similar, I came here because it felt like the last resort, and even then despite all the pain, I still don't know. I mean I know I ultimately want to die, but the specifics of when and how, feel uncertain. Because death is the unknown, there's gonna be some worry and fear about it, humans are programmed like that, to fear the unknown in order to survive. But when life becomes so unbearable, the only reasonable choice is stopping the suffering and pain completely. It's tough, and living is hell.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find what you are looking for on here, at least to me there could never be any value in something so useless and awful as life, I wish we existed in a world where painless and calming ways to ctb weren't restricted from us as it certainly sounds ideal just being able to pass away peacefully.