Venting Intense emotions

[milliecoyote]

Well, this is my second post. I just wanted to say that I might almost get shipped to the military but I'm not sure if I will bc of my weight. I had half a year to loose it. I chose not to and just rotted on my bed. I've been recently getting back into exercising but it's hard honestly and I always get exhausted so fast bc my Vo2 is at a 14… and I'm 20…. Not good for my age. Uh, yeah, idk tomorrow they will weigh me and measure me and let me know if I will go or not. I'm just, I really want to disappear idk I have a feeling they will cancel my contract and that sucks a lot. I wanted to go but at the same time not. I feel a bit happy I might get my contract canceled but at the same time no. I wanted to go to escape my family that are toxic. Yeah, idk, I feel like exploding. I hate feeling emotions it's too much. I'm fine but my emotions are just out of my control and making me feel not fine. Idk how people can control their own emotions man. Gajdkfhdhdhdhd idk if I'll be able to sleep tonight… tomorrow will determine my future. I might update idk we will see. I will comment under my own forum unless I can't comment idk. I know post once a week so I will see if I can reply to my own post to update idk. I just want to rip my head off.