Supersadmommy90

Supersadmommy90

Student
Sep 24, 2019
186
I just wanted to share this hanging which I find inspirational and which has caused me to reconsider my method. The person in question has a really calm demeanor going into it, like you can tell this wasn't her first rodeo or her first depressive episode or even attempt. She doesn't speak much english but what she does say is, "I don't know how.... I don't know how to." Makes me wonder if she just didn't know how to be happy. Maybe that's what she was trying to express, but it is left to the imagination. Then when she finally goes for it, I could really relate to that moment which she overcame but that I haven't yet. The way she hesitated but ultimately her will to ctb triumphed. The hanging itself was probably the most peaceful I've ever seen, with not much convulsing or twitching, although I'm sure there is no such thing as a truly peaceful hanging and that it was excruciating for a solid 15 seconds. Somehow I doubt that my hanging would be quite as peaceful, I'm probably more along the lines of being the funky chicken type. But you can't beat hanging in terms of accessibility and reliability, and so many people have died that way that it doesn't seem like a special snowflake way to die. It's the same way a rabbit dies in a snare. It's happened a million times to so many different people and animals that it is all natural. That being said I'm not going to do it today or tomorrow... You have to be in a certain liminal state of mind to be able to do so. It's like a veil between the worlds has to open up. You have to be more than ready. Maybe someday I'll be ready.

Edited to exclude the video based on a comment, I'm sorry I did not realize it was uncooth to link to ctb videos directly and it won't happen again.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
Personally I thinking sharing these videos gives this site a bad name regardless if your intentions were pure or not.
 
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Supersadmommy90

Supersadmommy90

Student
Sep 24, 2019
186
Personally I thinking sharing these videos gives this site a bad name regardless if your intentions were pure or not.

I'm sorry, I edited my OP to exclude the video. I did not realize it was uncooth to link to videos directly and it won't happen in the future as I don't want to misrepresent the site by expressing my own feelings about what I find appeals to me. These videos give me something I can relate to and understand as someone who is suicidal but I don't want to "inspire" or encourage others in any way. Maybe it should be taken down, I would delete the post but I can't figure out how to, sorry guys.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
If you want to remove it, contact one of the mods. I think talking about her story and the mental pain she went through is an admirable story to tell as it is her story, but to hold it up to inspire people to cbt is not good. Personally I would not think she would want that as her legacy
 
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Supersadmommy90

Supersadmommy90

Student
Sep 24, 2019
186
If you want to remove it, contact one of the mods. I think talking about her story and the mental pain she went through is an admirable story to tell as it is her story, but to hold it up to inspire people to cbt is not good. Personally I would not think she would want that as her legacy
I'll contact one of the mods and ask them to remove this post, thanks for the suggestion. I shouldn't have phrased it that way but that is where my mind went. Yikes.
 
Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
We have to be observant on how the outside world views us. If the story was just a 'talking head' video of her talking about here struggles that would be fine. Linking a video of someone taking their own lives without explicit warning of that you were actually watching a death in progress could really upset some people as I have to admit I could not shut the window quick enough when I realised what was about to happen
 
Supersadmommy90

Supersadmommy90

Student
Sep 24, 2019
186
I assume that people on here are as desensitized as I am but I was wrong, and I am sorry if I traumatized anyone. I've been traumatized by life so death doesn't personally strike me as being as traumatic as it does to the general public and I'm sorry I lost that perspective, as I agree that I should have been more mindful regarding the question of optics. I realize I overstepped the bounds and I would be extremely grateful if the mods could please overlook my infraction and allow me to continue being a member here on SS.
 
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DepressionsAHo

DepressionsAHo

Heaven gained a new ho
Feb 15, 2019
831
I assume that people on here are as desensitized as I am but I was wrong, and I am sorry if I traumatized anyone. I've been traumatized by life so death doesn't personally strike me as being as traumatic as it does to the general public and I'm sorry I lost that perspective, as I agree that I should have been more mindful regarding the question of optics. I realize I overstepped the bounds and I would be extremely grateful if the mods could please overlook my infraction and allow me to continue being a member here on SS.
It's a new thing.
Back when I first started browsing this site, we used to share them. People naturally wanted to see what their method looked like and so, would ask for videos of it. Its not that big of a deal
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
It's a new thing.
Back when I first started browsing this site, we used to share them. People naturally wanted to see what their method looked like and so, would ask for videos of it. Its not that big of a deal
I am happy to step back, I was only offering an opinion. One of my concerns which I didn't say is the site the video was stored on. I took a quick look again as I realised I didn't know what I had clicked to. Its a site that distributes images and videos of death, torture, maiming etc. for 'entertainment' purposes. My thoughts were is someone from the press viewed that, they could make an interesting but incorrect connection between the two. Again, happy to step back as I don't want to come across superior as I have been recently accused, but if this site is under close scrutiny and again in my opinion, it looked like one of those hindsight 'why did we do it?' Maybe the admins and mods can give a steer on this as certainly one person's opinion should not stop what is being allowed
 
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Supersadmommy90

Supersadmommy90

Student
Sep 24, 2019
186
I agree that Best Gore is not peak optics, so I do apologize for that, I take no pleasure in gore personally, I am more interested in the reality of the method of ctb and the same type of documentation of suicide that doctors review in order to observe the pathophysiology. I can understand how SS may have to implement such rules or perhaps update their existing rules regarding videos of this nature, unfortunately I can see how the public might make negative associations that members on here are sadistic or some retarded thing like that. I don't enjoy the pain of others anymore than I enjoy my own pain but it nevertheless is a subject of interest. What can I say, misery loves company. That's why we're all here, n'est ce oas. I just hope I'm not in too much trouble since I really am miserable enough to love the company here.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
I agree that Best Gore is not peak optics, so I do apologize for that, I take no pleasure in gore personally, I am more interested in the reality of the method of ctb and the same type of documentation of suicide that doctors review in order to observe the pathophysiology. I can understand how SS may have to implement such rules or perhaps update their existing rules regarding videos of this nature, unfortunately I can see how the public might make negative associations that members on here are sadistic or some retarded thing like that. I don't enjoy the pain of others anymore than I enjoy my own pain but it nevertheless is a subject of interest. What can I say, misery loves company. That's why we're all here, n'est ce oas. I just hope I'm not in too much trouble since I really am miserable enough to love the company here.
Agree, please don't take what I said against you as an individual. It's that with the spotlight now on us it might be a good to get a steer on what can and cannot be done with certain things. So I hope you don't feel it was me telling you off as I am not
 

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