Insert Title Here pt II

[BitterlyAlive_]

I was looking through my threads on my old account and found one dubbed "Insert Title Here". I was reading through it and cried. Everything I wrote is still true today. It hurts so bad. This really stood out:

My emotions are consuming me and it's so hard to think of anything else. I really struggle to support other people because I'm so overwhelmed by my stupid pain. I've always been this way, and there's been recent discourse in the community. I don't want to cause any more by being so selfish. People deserve actual support on here.

At the same time, my brain has been telling me all week that I don't even belong here. I've just been trying to convince myself that I do because I'm so lonely. My friends can't support me, and people I grew to rely on irl don't want me around anymore either. My own parents just see me as an obligation and don't even want to talk to me.

I don't know what to do. I'm just completely dysphoric. I can't keep posting on here, I can't talk about it irl. It's just getting worse and worse and worse. And as it worsens, I have less to say on here anyway. I can't pull my own weight.

I feel just like this to this day, nothing has changed. I feel like I'm continuing to ruin relationships and drive people away. I don't know what to say about anything, I struggle to actually support people. I feel like an outsider. The pain is still overwhelming, but now it seems worse because so many people are gone.

Maybe it's best if I just leave. I admit I'm a bit drunk right now, and I don't want to self-ban again without really thinking about it. But God, everything hurts.

 

[signifying nothing]

Similar here.

Feeling like someone whose existence is just tolerated and endured, like a necessary evil. There is no understanding or solace to be had.

Tired of trying to help others, tired of trying to help myself. My words feel old and empty and pointless. Nothing new to say that hasn't already been said better by others. I am redundant.

Just waiting in limbo with no place to go, not wanted, not fitting in, not a part but not able to leave either. Awkward, self-conscious, rubbish.

 

[foxdie]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. It has been a tough couple weeks on here. You do belong here, I often struggle with imposter syndrome, but our feelings are valid. Anyone who joins this site for genuine reasons feelings are valid.

Only you can decide if leaving this site is best for you. But I would discourage you from doing it if the reason is because you think you don't belong, because you do. Sending hugs

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

I was looking through my threads on my old account and found one dubbed "Insert Title Here". I was reading through it and cried. Everything I wrote is still true today. It hurts so bad. This really stood out:

I feel just like this to this day, nothing has changed. I feel like I'm continuing to ruin relationships and drive people away. I don't know what to say about anything, I struggle to actually support people. I feel like an outsider. The pain is still overwhelming, but now it seems worse because so many people are gone.

Maybe it's best if I just leave. I admit I'm a bit drunk right now, and I don't want to self-ban again without really thinking about it. But God, everything hurts.

You. Belong. Here.

Similar here.

Feeling like someone whose existence is just tolerated and endured, like a necessary evil. There is no understanding or solace to be had.

Tired of trying to help others, tired of trying to help myself. My words feel old and empty and pointless. Nothing new to say that hasn't already been said better by others. I am redundant.

Just waiting in limbo with no place to go, not wanted, not fitting in, not a part but not able to leave either. Awkward, self-conscious, rubbish.

You fit in here. Period!

 

[Good4Nothing]

Don't go. I like having you around. I read all of your posts. I genuinely like you. I wish we could hang out IRL. You're smart and funny. This sounds really dumb. I'm tired. I like you. Stay.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

My words feel old and empty and pointless. Nothing new to say that hasn't already been said better by others. I am redundant.

This is how I feel too. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this pain.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. It has been a tough couple weeks on here. You do belong here, I often struggle with imposter syndrome, but our feelings are valid. Anyone who joins this site for genuine reasons feelings are valid.

Only you can decide if leaving this site is best for you. But I would discourage you from doing it if the reason is because you think you don't belong, because you do. Sending hugs

I think it's my rampant loneliness and my awful self-esteem. I get scared and feel annoying for just existing, even on here.

You. Belong. Here.

You fit in here. Period!

Thank you

Don't go. I like having you around. I read all of your posts. I genuinely like you. I wish we could hang out IRL. You're smart and funny. This sounds really dumb. I'm tired. I like you. Stay.

It doesn't sound dumb, it's very kind. Thank you.

 

[SpinTop555]

I relate so much, can't turn to anyone that might comfort or understand, I feel hollow and alone, no matter what I do or don't do, at the end of the day, I still feel the same as I did a decade and more ago, I actually wish we could all hang out irl, at least we would understand each other.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

I relate so much, can't turn to anyone that might comfort or understand, I feel hollow and alone, no matter what I do or don't do, at the end of the day, I still feel the same as I did a decade and more ago, I actually wish we could all hang out irl, at least we would understand each other.

I wish we could hang out irl too! i have met some great people here. there are ways to hang out virtually you know!

 

[SpinTop555]

I wish we could hang out irl too! i have met some great people here. there are ways to hang out virtually you know!

Yes there are some really great people here, I agree. That's true, create a discord channel or something maybe, would be a nice change to talk with people who care and understand and maybe build a friendship or two, although I feel like we're all kind of friends already just by being here (SS), by virtue of our shared pain.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

Yes there are some really great people here, I agree. That's true, create a discord channel or something maybe, would be a nice change to talk with people who care and understand and maybe build a friendship or two, although I feel like we're all kind of friends already just by being here (SS), by virtue of our shared pain.

agreed. the shared pain and genuine understanding brings us together. btw - we have a lil discord crew. pm me if you are interested in joining!

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I relate so much, can't turn to anyone that might comfort or understand, I feel hollow and alone, no matter what I do or don't do, at the end of the day, I still feel the same as I did a decade and more ago, I actually wish we could all hang out irl, at least we would understand each other.

I know how you feel. I know I say this all the time, but it's true: it is so, so painful to exist. Nothing helps me either. People on here really get it, we may have walked different paths in life but we have the same pain. Yet I still feel like an alien when I talk to people on here.