Story Ingesting SN Outcome

[reposing]

I wasn't sure if I should post this or not, but I thought I would just to have it out there as a reference for those considering the SN method.

So, obviously, I was unsuccessful though I wouldn't say that this was a real attempt on my part, but a desperate decision I made when I was having the worst day in a while.

I didn't fast for the entire day, but I didn't eat anything for about five hours before I took the SN. At one hour before, I took 600mg of ibuprofen and at 45 minutes before, I took Zofran. I didn't have access to meto or any other dopamine antagonists, but it was better than nothing.

I made my SN drink, which was 25g in 50mL of water. This is where things go awry. The taste was worse than I expected, imagine the saltiest thing you've ever had and multiply it by tenfold. It was like drinking straight salt. I drank about half of it before giving up, I couldn't take more of it as my mouth was dry and my throat burned like a bitch. At this point, my heart rate was off the charts and I was extremely lightheaded.

I went to lay down and try to sleep, but it was hard as my heart was thundering and the urge to vomit was strong. I got up again but my eyesight was blurry and everything was shifting, there was black spots everywhere and I couldn't walk straight, so I assumed I was going to lose consciousness soon enough. I went back to bed, and I only woke up about half an hour later, and the next time I was awake I was in the hospital.

I was found by my parents since I live with them and according to them (I can't remember anything), I couldn't stand and I was too weak to move, and I was throwing up a whole ton. I was held in the hospital for two days. I've recovered and there haven't been any lingering side effects or consequences from this attempt. If you guys have any questions for information I left out, please ask and I'll answer to the best of my ability.

 

[infinitelove]

Did you have doubts about your decision after ingesting it, any regret? That's quiet an experience to have encountered! Thanks for sharing.

 

[reposing]

Did you have doubts about your decision after ingesting it, any regret? That's quiet an experience to have encountered! Thanks for sharing.

Not particularly doubts or regrets, but it was more of me mourning the future I wouldn't get to live if I was successful. Everything you've done and haven't done really hits you when you think you're about to die, it was pretty overwhelming. Thanks for asking :)

 

[InTheAirTonight]

I'm glad you're with us. I know this gets asked a lot, but how would you describe the pain or discomfort?

 

[Stubbe]

How bad was the pain? Did it feel like you were choking at any point?

 

[Broken Chimera]

Do you regret that you survived? Are you gonna try for recovery?

 

[reposing]

I'm glad you're with us. I know this gets asked a lot, but how would you describe the pain or discomfort?

Thanks, that means a lot. It wasn't as bad as I expected, though I did take ibuprofen an hour beforehand so that may have played a part in it. There was a lot more discomfort than pain, your heart is pounding with no breaks and you can feel it everywhere, and my muscles/limbs were feeling pretty tense and locked up.

How bad was the pain? Did it feel like you were choking at any point?

Not as bad as I thought it would be. It was more discomfort than anything. It felt like I was choking when I was ingesting the SN drink and right after, the taste and the feel of it going down your throat was pretty awful.

Do you regret that you survived? Are you gonna try for recovery?

A little bit, yes. However, I didn't leave any notes or anything behind for family and friends, so I'm glad that I wasn't successful in the manner that I didn't leave them with anything. I'm still unsure on that.

 

[http-410]

Thanks for sharing your story.

Did they inject you with methylene blue or did you recover on your own? Did the doctors and your parents realized that you took SN/tried to end your life? If so, did you have to go to therapy or something similar after your attempt?

Were you experiencing panic?

 

[reposing]

Thanks for sharing your story.

Did they inject you with methylene blue or did you recover on your own? Did the doctors and your parents realized that you took SN/tried to end your life? If so, did you have to go to therapy or something similar after your attempt?

Yep, they injected me with methylene blue, fun fact, it turns your pee blue- definitely caught me off guard. I denied taking anything (specifically SN) as an attempt to take my own life, though I believe they had their suspicions. Since it wasn't seen as a suicide attempt, I didn't have to go to therapy.

 

[Stubbe]

It felt like I was choking when I was ingesting the SN drink and right after

so it wasn't some long lasting thing where it felt like you would die from choking? as if you were drowning

 

[reposing]

so it wasn't some long lasting thing where it felt like you would die from choking? as if you were drowning

In my experience, no, it wasn't anything like suffocating or drowning, but more like your throat feels tight.

 

[reposing]

You were "lucky" not to seem too suspicious / didn't end up in the psych ward.

Were you conscious when it was injected? Someone mentioned that the injection with methylene blue hurts quite a bit. I wonder why.

Were you experiencing panic when the SN hit you?

Yeah, thankfully, I assume they didn't have enough proof to go off of to send me off or just didn't care. I'm grateful either way.

I don't believe I was, for the first day and the hours following my hospitalization, I was completely out of it. I did feel a lot of pain when they were injecting needles and IVs and my arms did feel sore and tender after, but I can't be 100% it was from the methylene blue.

To an extent. As I mentioned before, my heart rate was very fast and that in itself made me feel very restless and panicked.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm terribly sorry for everything that you have endured. To be honest with you, users are becoming increasingly skeptical of SN - either for fear that SN is either too painful or not effective (long story here). My point is that, since you did not drink the whole glass, this does not really constitute a fully-fledged attempt (please others contradict me if I'm wrong). So maybe change the name of the title, please? Again, I'm truly sorry for what you have experienced.

 

[reposing]

I'm terribly sorry for everything that you have endured. To be honest with you, users are becoming increasingly skeptical of SN - either for fear that SN is either too painful or not effective (long story here). My point is that, since you did not drink the whole glass, this does not really constitute a fully-fledged attempt (please others contradict me if I'm wrong). So maybe change the name of the title, please? Again, I'm truly sorry for what you have experienced.

Thank you, it was a pretty awful experience. I agree, that's why I mentioned it wasn't really an attempt, but I will change the title in order to not mislead anyone. Thanks for bringing this up.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Thank you, it was a pretty awful experience. I agree, that's why I mentioned it wasn't really an attempt, but I will change the title in order to not mislead anyone. Thanks for bringing this up.

I also drank SN some time ago. I hope that you are well "enough" now. I don't know about your personal situation, but I hope that with the help of your family you might consider recovery. Also, I'm very happy that you're not in a ward

 

[reposing]

I also drank SN some time ago. I hope that you are well "enough" now. I don't know about your personal situation, but I hope that with the help of your family you might consider recovery. Also, I'm very happy that you're not in a ward

I'm doing a lot better now, mental and physical wise. I've been thinking about it, but thank you for all your kind words!

 

[Meditation guide]

I went back to bed, and I only woke up about half an hour later

Do you remember waking up half an hour later and how you felt or what happened?

So you are saying the taste was so bad you couldn't possibly force the rest down?

Thank you for posting this.

 

[Ghost2211]

Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds like not nearly enough got into your system. I'm sorry you didn't get the peace you desired. I hope things get better for you regardless of if you choose to try again or recovery.

 

[reposing]

Do you remember waking up half an hour later and how you felt or what happened?

I do remember waking up and checking my phone for the time, and I felt pretty lightheaded and like I was disassociating– it didn't really feel like I was in control of my body and my heart rate was still high. Other than that, I can't remember much else from that moment.

Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds like not nearly enough got into your system. I'm sorry you didn't get the peace you desired. I hope things get better for you regardless of if you choose to try again or recovery.

Yeah, I only drank about half of the drink, so I'm guessing that it wasn't enough to really work. Thank you for the support :)

 

[Infinite Conscious]

Are you glad you're alive?

 

[reposing]

Are you glad you're alive?

I'm pretty split on this. On one hand, I'm glad I lived and spend more time with my loved ones and have time to write letters if I choose to try again. On the other, I'm tired of living and my depression doesn't seem to be getting better and I'm falling back on bad habits.

 

[Metalhead]

Thanks for sharing your experience on here. That takes a lot of courage and strength to open up about it. I have had 2 unsuccessful attempts ( not with SN ) You are a very brave individual to have even gotten to the point of ingesting SN. I am glad that you are still here with us :-}

 

[PJFord]

Thank you for sharing and I hope everything works out well for you.

Forgive me if I'm being too personal or assuming, but your attempt helps me with my belief that a clear, 100% mental attitude of wanting to CTB is as essential as the method. Survival instinct is strong and I believe we need to be fully committed to the task to succeed. It sounds in your case like you were wavering, and you almost sound relieved. (Again, apologies if I'm reading too much I to this.). That, combined with the unpleasantness of the SN, likely helped you survive. I counter this with someone like Dani who successfully CTBed last night On SN; he was fully prepared and ready.

I feel being fully mentally prepared to exit is a very important part I don't read much about here on SS.

 

[reposing]

Thanks for sharing your experience on here. That takes a lot of courage and strength to open up about it. I have had 2 unsuccessful attempts ( not with SN ) You are a very brave individual to have even gotten to the point of ingesting SN. I am glad that you are still here with us :-}

Thank you, I'm glad you're still here as well. Godspeed.

Thank you for sharing and I hope everything works out well for you.

Forgive me if I'm being too personal or assuming, but your attempt helps me with my belief that a clear, 100% mental attitude of wanting to CTB is as essential as the method. Survival instinct is strong and I believe we need to be fully committed to the task to succeed. It sounds in your case like you were wavering, and you almost sound relieved. (Again, apologies if I'm reading too much I to this.). That, combined with the unpleasantness of the SN, likely helped you survive. I counter this with someone like Dani who successfully CTBed last night On SN; he was fully prepared and ready.

I feel being fully mentally prepared to exit is a very important part I don't read much about here on SS.

I'm inclined to agree and you're good, you're pretty spot on! I wasn't 100% prepared and it was a choice I made on a whim. Being prepared and being committed to CBT is critical to success. I wasn't aware there was a recent success with SN, I hope wherever Dani is now, they're in peace.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I hope domperidone is enough to stop me from vomiting. I abhor vomiting.

 

[Meditation guide]

It sounds to me like as long as someone is not discovered and taken to the hospital it's more likely to succeed. Most of these have that one thing in common, being discovered.

 

[voidman]

No disrespect at all and I'm glad you're okay. However, I think there are 4 important things to remember for those that will attempt SN in the future, in order to be successful. One is don't be found under any circumstance, and the second is take the correct dose. I guess three would be don't vomit if you can avoid it, but it seems vomiting is becoming less of a dealbreaker as more cases are documented. #4 of course: be completely mentally ready and follow a plan.

 

[reposing]

I hope domperidone is enough to stop me from vomiting. I abhor vomiting.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's listed as an antiemetic choice in Stan's Guide. I hope it works for you, I despise vomiting as well.

It sounds to me like as long as someone is not discovered and taken to the hospital it's more likely to succeed. Most of these have that one thing in common, being discovered.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Along side the amount of SN consumed, giving the SN time to work is vital. I live with my parents for the time being which is a pretty big obstacle. Moving out is one of my goals right now, although it's a bit difficult right now, amid a pandemic and all.

No disrespect at all and I'm glad you're okay. However, I think there are 4 important things to remember for those that will attempt SN in the future, in order to be successful. One is don't be found under any circumstance, and the second is take the correct dose. I guess three would be don't vomit if you can avoid it, but it seems vomiting is becoming less of a dealbreaker as more cases are documented. #4 of course: be completely mentally ready and follow a plan.

None taken! You're right, in any case, there's a lot of factors one has to take in before committing.