Discussion Incurable natures which make you painful and crazy...

[Blue Rose]

OK, first, I should define what incurable natures are.

- These are Neither disease nor disorder. Even some people consider some of them as a gift of life.
- These can be Never cured with any treatment of modern medical science.

In my case...

1. Gender Incongruence

In 2021, Gender Incongruence is Neither disorder Nor disease Anymore.
So anyone must not try to 'correct' my gender identity. I can be treated for my pain and gender dysphoria properly.
However, this nature made me crazy and painful for some years. Even I used to cry all day or harm myself seriously often.
I had wanted to live the life of both a man and a woman. Then finally, I borrowed money from a bank,
And ran away from my house to take major surgery and hormones.

2. Absolute Pitch

When I was very young(About 4 years old), I learnt how to play piano for a month.
My instructor came to know that I had absolute pitch soon, she wanted to make me a pianist. But I refused.
Anyway I had liked music so much, then I seized some opportunities to brush up that somehow.

I don't hate this nature. But it makes me painful and crazy sometimes even now.
I Cannot focus on listening to music at all. Always I analyse pitch and the key in the song or music which I listen to.
Unless the music has pitch that I can't analysis in my head, I can never escape from these uncontrollable analyses every time.

 

[◄✵火✵〇°Ø•WÅR•Ī°〇✵火✵►]

I learned to play the piano at a young age too! But then I had to stop. I also took dance classes at around the same age but I stopped that too. I may also have perfect pitch but I never trained it so I don't know for sure but it bothers me too when something is off-pitch. I love music too so I could never really give up on it, I continued teaching myself piano and found that I learn better that way. Then, a couple years ago, I started learning how to play the Dizi flute because I found a Dizi cover of the OST for the movie Big Fish and Begonia on Youtube accidentally. So I bought a Dizi flute and learnt to play it just so I could play that one song, lol. It's just that beautiful. (I learned a couple other songs too.) Then I watched the movie. It's super interesting, I recommend it. Since I'm suicidal, I gave up on any activities that require effort and energy. I still love music but now, I'm content just listening to it.

Anyway, my incurable nature is that I'm too spiritual for this world. But I accept myself as I am. I don't nor shouldn't see it as a flaw. I simply am me. And that's okay.