incredibly lonely

[$nowLeopard]

only 1 person i can really talk to irl
can anyone relate?
sorry if this is a common thread topic

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I like being alone. I cannot stand people. I need my own space. People are capable of causing us a lot of pain and can ruin our lives. I am very introverted. I know that loneliness can be painful for others. I'm sorry you feel this way.

 

[DeathBecomesMe_2021]

I have only one person I see in my daily life. No one else unless I'm forced to leave the house for some birthday thing or whatever.

 

[Smart No More]

I've isolated myself from my friends. It's easier that way but I do kind of yearn for somebody to really really understand what I'm dealing with. I hope they'll have access to, and read my diaries and their memories of me will be true. I really don't like the thought that many people could believe something entirely different to the truth. I was quite gifted in a variety of things and able to pick things up quite easily. Always learning, even subconciously. That kind of moulded me and losing it to sickness makes me miss myself more than anything and I mourn the loss of myself and the positive impact I intended to have on people as my life played out. I think I miss my future. If that makes sense. As far as I'm concerned I died when I lost myself to ilness. I'm just a place holder now looking for the ideal timing to ctb that will have minimal impact on my loved ones. My cat included. I'm thinking birthday is the ideal day to ctb because those that loved you will only mourn you the one day per year and will hopefully celebrate you/us on that day making it a more positive thing overall.


Sorry, I don't think that's quite what you were asking OP. Your post just spurred me down a train of thought. I apologies for droning on all about myself.

 

[$nowLeopard]

It's easier that way but I do kind of yearn for somebody to really really understand what I'm dealing with

It's rare to find that kind of person irl
Maybe that's the reason I'm so drawn to the internet, more chances of meeting that person...

What are you dealing with? If you don't mind me asking, you can PM me if you'd like

 

[Smart No More]

It's a bit of a long story. Well kind of but generally I've suffered neurological damage that has impacted my digestion, cognition and memory in a really unusual way. It's really ruined my quality of life and challenged my resolve. I feel so unnatural as my entire biochemistry feels like it's changed. It's not something I can change/fix myself which is hard to live with as somebody who was used to having such control and strong instincts for problem solving. Hard to feel/be helpless. It really goes against all my personal values to impact anyone negatively underservedly so I'm perplexed by my desire/need to ctb and hurt anybody but I can't live a life as a shadow of myself. It will change the way way I'm remembered when I finally die naturally and will make me a burden to my loved ones in the meantime. Changing tge dynamics of our relationship. It's just not viable.

I am actually trying to look for solutions as I don't really want to die but it's kind of hard to get medical help without facing all sorts of barriers to treatment amidst the health system being overwhelmed and a pandemic going on. I'm trying to be hopeful but I'm instinctively not as a result of my staunch realism.

What is your situation? What brings you here? I'll echo your offer to reply via DM if you prefer. :)

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It's okay if this is a "common" topic. A lot of people here are probably very lonely/alone. It hurts. So we talk about it here.

I feel alone like all the time. It's worse than loneliness, because at least loneliness can be treated by being around (good) people. Feeling alone is something more pervasive. It doesn't just go away like that. It makes life very painful. You can still feel alone even if you're around your closest friends, people that really get you.

What kind of sick joke is that. :|

 

[Enigmatic Sailor]

I have acquaintances I go out to see in the clubs or bars. I don't consider them friends, they're just there for a good time like me.

 

[$nowLeopard]

It's a bit of a long story. Well kind of but generally I've suffered neurological damage that has impacted my digestion, cognition and memory in a really unusual way. It's really ruined my quality of life and challenged my resolve. I feel so unnatural as my entire biochemistry feels like it's changed. It's not something I can change/fix myself which is hard to live with as somebody who was used to having such control and strong instincts for problem solving. Hard to feel/be helpless. It really goes against all my personal values to impact anyone negatively underservedly so I'm perplexed by my desire/need to ctb and hurt anybody but I can't live a life as a shadow of myself. It will change the way way I'm remembered when I finally die naturally and will make me a burden to my loved ones in the meantime. Changing tge dynamics of our relationship. It's just not viable.

I am actually trying to look for solutions as I don't really want to die but it's kind of hard to get medical help without facing all sorts of barriers to treatment amidst the health system being overwhelmed and a pandemic going on. I'm trying to be hopeful but I'm instinctively not as a result of my staunch realism.

What is your situation? What brings you here? I'll echo your offer to reply via DM if you prefer. :)

Hey, there's a forum out there of people who have managed to greatly improve some of their physical alignments, ranging from Hypothyroidism, Hypogonadism; which impacts life quality greatly, to things that are not as specific/definable, just general unwellness and unhealthiness.
Your situation sounds like your symptoms can be improved, there are many testaments of people improving their quality of life greatly when doctors couldn't really. Improving sleep, energy etc.
I say your symptoms can be improved even when it comes to the neurological, the brain is very malleable and this has been proven many times.

I have been using the forum myself, and have cured a long issue of cold hands and feet, waking up at night, unideal digestion and chronically low energy.
Its via different life habits and diet. The forum is centered around a dietary philosophy shared by a few public figures, but mostly by a guy named Ray Peat (which is what the forums are named after, RayPeatForum.com; I'm assuming it was formed by readers of his weekly email news letters, etc. Ray is aware of the Forum but he doesn't get involved in it).
I'm terrible at explaining things and experiencing some brain fog + haven't slept in 22 hours.

Basically, there's this dietary philosophy and people opened a forum about it, the forum discusses many different, often seemingly unrelated things, though. It has many, many cases of self help.

If you'd like to know about the dietary philosophy I'd suggest starting on Ray's articles on his website, RayPeat.com
Read the about page for some more info
It's kind of a joy to read his stuff, especially if you're a doctor (although some are too dogmatic and rigid, he discusses many unconventional stuff or things which are deemed as "completely understood" by medicine, and any other understanding is simply impossible.), he offers new and interesting insight into things.
It's kinda incredible because from what I understand this sounds like something exactly up your alley. Its filled with self-help. (The forum and per advice of Ray)

As for what brings me here... Extreme loneliness, I could've lurked by I chose to make an account so I could talk to people.
Anyways I'm off to bed, cya later, idk how well I typed this out

 

[miserableforever]

In my case, I like being alone. I cannot stand people. I need my own space. People are capable of causing us a lot of pain and can ruin our lives. I am very introverted. I know that loneliness can be painful for others. I'm sorry you feel this way.

I have to agree with you. I can't stand the presence of others, makes me physically sick.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I have no one both irl and online and what can I say... I'm used to it i guess.

 

[$nowLeopard]

I have no one both irl and online and what can I say... I'm used to it i guess.

Similar in that even online Im unlikeable.

 

[Shadowplay]

Can always jump in the chats. Not saying a magic Band-Aid but better than nothing.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Similar in that even online Im unlikeable.

Same.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I have online "friends". I have no one I talk or see regularly or anything, and sometimes I feel very very lonely and wish for a true, deep connection with SOMEONE. Doesn't have to be romantic, just someone I can totally be myself with and feel comfortable with, and who feels the same way around me because I take someone feeling that trust and security around me as an ultimate compliment. The last real IRL friend I had (who turned out to be a backstabber after almost 8 yrs of what I thought was a 'best friend' friendship) was in the 90s. I try less and less now to find that kind of connection because I realize that, for me, it's never gonna happen. But sometimes I get caught up and get my hopes up (only to be disappointed, ghosted, or ruin things by my own issues...). What others have said already is what I'm leaning towards more and more, which is to just stay distanced from other people entirely. It's hard though because deep down I still yearn for that close connection with someone.

 

[miserableforever]

I have online "friends". I have no one I talk or see regularly or anything, and sometimes I feel very very lonely and wish for a true, deep connection with SOMEONE. Doesn't have to be romantic, just someone I can totally be myself with and feel comfortable with, and who feels the same way around me because I take someone feeling that trust and security around me as an ultimate compliment. The last real IRL friend I had (who turned out to be a backstabber after almost 8 yrs of what I thought was a 'best friend' friendship) was in the 90s. I try less and less now to find that kind of connection because I realize that, for me, it's never gonna happen. But sometimes I get caught up and get my hopes up (only to be disappointed, ghosted, or ruin things by my own issues...). What others have said already is what I'm leaning towards more and more, which is to just stay distanced from other people entirely. It's hard though because deep down I still yearn for that close connection with someone.

After my divorce from an emotionally completely cold person I have no desire to feel things again. Romantically or otherwise. Just numb.