In my recovery, behavoir is a thing.

[dandan]

I never thought on my behavior before.
And now, behavoir is a thing, so recovery is somehow happening, never even considered, cause I've felt like shit, maybe due to my low testosterone levels, maybe I would never really now...
I started using Testosterone and Dianabol because an ex_memeber asked me if I had tried everything in a thread where I was saying goodbye after I received my N.
And I never considered testing and dianabol before, so in my purpose to try everything I tried testo and D, and it worked, and then I went to a specialist, a dr. , an endocrinologist.
He asked me for blood test and indeed my testo levels were "normal" even using Testosterone, so if my testo levels were normal is because they were low before....

The thing is now i dont feel like shit, or like ctbing due to an emotional issue.
Life has obstacles even without depression, especially if I had 20 years of depression before.... so I didn't grow economically, socially, or my human skills.

Now I notice I'm not the man I say I am.
I say many things but I don't act on them...
My behavior isn't helping me in recovery, so now I do focus a little on it .

In order to recover my self , my life, my hopes and my "person", I need to act, and behave responsibly, congruently.

My financial status is an issue, mainly because of bad past decisions when I knew I would die young...
Now I need to recover my work skills, thankful ingot a job, but I wasn't pushing or doing an effort there... I've got to work extra .. I need to become good to keep my job..
I wasn't learning.... in need to do now..
I need to learn and give in hours into being a good programmer... it takes practice... inneed to practice more ....

Let's do it
Plus keep exercising daily every morning on doctor orders to keep my testo levels up...
Its doable!

 

[Shero]

Good job on finding your own way out! I wish you a uncomplicated recovery.

 

[dandan]

Good job on finding your own way out! I wish you a uncomplicated recovery.

Thanks a lot!
For me recovery is definitely like almost a full time job, but I'm undoubtedly "not depressed"... at least I have stopped thinking about CTB , and I'm looking to do other things, but training the mind to focus on the job and on goals requires effort and I get easily distracted, some AdHd has been diagnosed but I'm addicted to those pills... cant have a box, because I will use it in a weekend instead of 1 month.

I will continue posting about my recovery.

Anyways I hold N in the fridge just in case.

 

[Shero]

Thanks a lot!
For me recovery is definitely like almost a full time job, but I'm undoubtedly "not depressed"... at least I have stopped thinking about CTB , and I'm looking to do other things, but training the mind to focus on the job and on goals requires effort and I get easily distracted, some AdHd has been diagnosed but I'm addicted to those pills... cant have a box, because I will use it in a weekend instead of 1 month.

I will continue posting about my recovery.

Anyways I hold N in the fridge just in case.

I would definetly be interested in hearing more of your journey, so keep us updated.
The N is a good idea, you can have it as reassurance.

 

[Bandzbandz]

The bravest thing to do is keep living, tbh. Nothing harder than that. Take it a day at a time. Much love.