OnceThougtTwiceDone
Student
- Apr 15, 2023
- 156
Hello, I made a suicide timeline before my second attempt, but it wasn't very in depth, so now I'm making (My normal internet name)s Emporium of a Bad Life!
2014 (Very young age) - Became depressed, never told anyone, even after I realized depressed didn't just mean sad all the time, haven't told anyone that I've been depressed since I was little.
Feb 2015 (I think?) - Felt trans, didn't know what it was though so never came out.
Oct 2019 (I think?) - Was diagnosed with Anxiety and SPD, SPD is a mental illness which changes how you process senses quite a bit. Feel free to research it if you really want to know more about it for some reason.
Nov 2019 - I fell 9-12 feet, doctor said to make sure I don't fall, which made me think I would die if I would even fall a little, I live in Grand Rapids, so there was a lot of ice, so that formed CPTSD.
Dec 2019 - Since I was thinking about dying so much, I realized dying is actually a pretty good thing. This caused me to become suicidal, but never attempted, this is also the reason behind my name.
Jan 2020 - Became more and more suicidal, was thinking of a way but didn't know barely any ways to kill myself other than jumping and drowning, not even knew hanging, but told my parents I wanted to die.
Feb 2020 - Threatened to jump out of a moving car on a busy road, that could've been my first attempt if they hadn't locked the windows.
Mar 2020 - Probably part of everyone's story, the great isolation of Covid-19, I was homeschooled due to my anxiety being so bad I had multiple panic attacks a school day, can't remember if it was February or January when that happened, so this made me not need to go through online school.
Apr 2020 - Started feeling a bit better towards the end somehow, felt disconnected from my friend group for obvious reasons.
May 2020 - Found out about VTubers, watched them a lot, wasn't part of the anime community though, felt quite a bit better.
Jun 2020 - Anxiety got worse, came out as trans to my parents.
Jul 2020 Joined the Anime community since being part of the vtuber community and not the anime community feels weird and you get confused a lot from anime references.
Aug 2020 -Went to a different school which didn't have 3 floors, was online since Covid-19, went pretty well.
Sep 2020 - Life went well for a little bit.
Jan 2021 - Chose to not go to in-person school for safety reasons, got a much worse teacher who didn't understand my issues.
Apr 2021 - Started seeing friends again, felt suicidal again, barely though.
May 2021 - No longer suicidal.
Uneventful Life Break :)
Sep 2021 - Got anxious again due to an alarm I wasn't aware of happening.
Oct 2021 - Oops had a multiple month concussion, that's a problem.
Nov 2021 - still going on
Dec 2021 - still going on
Jan 2022 - still going on (Really letting this sink in.)
Feb 2022 - FINALLY not going on anymore.
Mar 2022 - Having a bad stomach making me go to school less.
Apr 2022 - Left VTuber community, feeling good?! Also came out to world.
Uneventful Life Break :) x2
Sep 2022 - Lost a lot of friends, mostly actually accepting friends as lost actually.
Uneventful Life Break <3
Dec 2022 - Had many hyper-realistic dreams about being sexually assaulted--no idea why--but often my dreams come true so now I'm scared.
Jan 2022 - Grandma doesn't accept me being trans. Also had really bad stomach problems for a while.
Late Feb 2022 (I think?) Found out my friend was going to kill them self, that got me thinking about suicide again. They were a close acquaintance and never actually did.
Mar 2022 - Really can't remember much.
Apr 2022 - BIG Month - Rejoined small friend group, previous broke up Sep 2022, became suicidal, joined this website, tried to kill myself by cutting my throat with a shovel, stopped because friend saw me. Now this all happened in a day, very suicidal of course, I expected to jump off a research vessel in Lake Michigan to drown but never got to, then took Sulphuric Acid from vessel and told my friends I was going to kill myself, didn't believe me probably from the previous person who said they were going to kill themself, gave proof, told teacher as soon as possible, sending me to ER for the afternoon and evening (not too bad, finally answering the question in the AMA I made,) all medicine and knives couldn't be used by me (what idiots,) and needed someone else by me at all times. Oh my gosh that was a long list for one month. Oh also I got back in the VTuber Community
May 2022 - Me being suicidal was the new thing with my mini group, which I hated, had to sit with someone who made JOKES about SUICIDE. Also got therapy and anti depressants against my will.
June 2022 - Just barely not able to do multiple attempts, one of which I just didn't want to fall tons of meters down in front of 3 of my friends and my mom, am currently visiting Spain with my Mom and another family which are my friends. Might jump down high Montserrat literally tomorrow though, so wish me luck.
So I hope you enjoyed this list and OOOOH ALMOST 1000 WORDS
100 bottles of milk on the wall 100 bottles of milk, pass it around, toss it around 99 bottles of milk on the wall
99 bottles of milk on the wall, 99 bottles of milk, pass it around, toss it around, 98 bottles of milk on the wall
98 bottles of milk on the wall, 98 bottles of milk, pass it around, toss it around, 97 bottles of milk on the wall
97 bottles of milk on the wall, toss it around, 96 milk
2014 (Very young age) - Became depressed, never told anyone, even after I realized depressed didn't just mean sad all the time, haven't told anyone that I've been depressed since I was little.
Feb 2015 (I think?) - Felt trans, didn't know what it was though so never came out.
Oct 2019 (I think?) - Was diagnosed with Anxiety and SPD, SPD is a mental illness which changes how you process senses quite a bit. Feel free to research it if you really want to know more about it for some reason.
Nov 2019 - I fell 9-12 feet, doctor said to make sure I don't fall, which made me think I would die if I would even fall a little, I live in Grand Rapids, so there was a lot of ice, so that formed CPTSD.
Dec 2019 - Since I was thinking about dying so much, I realized dying is actually a pretty good thing. This caused me to become suicidal, but never attempted, this is also the reason behind my name.
Jan 2020 - Became more and more suicidal, was thinking of a way but didn't know barely any ways to kill myself other than jumping and drowning, not even knew hanging, but told my parents I wanted to die.
Feb 2020 - Threatened to jump out of a moving car on a busy road, that could've been my first attempt if they hadn't locked the windows.
Mar 2020 - Probably part of everyone's story, the great isolation of Covid-19, I was homeschooled due to my anxiety being so bad I had multiple panic attacks a school day, can't remember if it was February or January when that happened, so this made me not need to go through online school.
Apr 2020 - Started feeling a bit better towards the end somehow, felt disconnected from my friend group for obvious reasons.
May 2020 - Found out about VTubers, watched them a lot, wasn't part of the anime community though, felt quite a bit better.
Jun 2020 - Anxiety got worse, came out as trans to my parents.
Jul 2020 Joined the Anime community since being part of the vtuber community and not the anime community feels weird and you get confused a lot from anime references.
Aug 2020 -Went to a different school which didn't have 3 floors, was online since Covid-19, went pretty well.
Sep 2020 - Life went well for a little bit.
Jan 2021 - Chose to not go to in-person school for safety reasons, got a much worse teacher who didn't understand my issues.
Apr 2021 - Started seeing friends again, felt suicidal again, barely though.
May 2021 - No longer suicidal.
Uneventful Life Break :)
Sep 2021 - Got anxious again due to an alarm I wasn't aware of happening.
Oct 2021 - Oops had a multiple month concussion, that's a problem.
Nov 2021 - still going on
Dec 2021 - still going on
Jan 2022 - still going on (Really letting this sink in.)
Feb 2022 - FINALLY not going on anymore.
Mar 2022 - Having a bad stomach making me go to school less.
Apr 2022 - Left VTuber community, feeling good?! Also came out to world.
Uneventful Life Break :) x2
Sep 2022 - Lost a lot of friends, mostly actually accepting friends as lost actually.
Uneventful Life Break <3
Dec 2022 - Had many hyper-realistic dreams about being sexually assaulted--no idea why--but often my dreams come true so now I'm scared.
Jan 2022 - Grandma doesn't accept me being trans. Also had really bad stomach problems for a while.
Late Feb 2022 (I think?) Found out my friend was going to kill them self, that got me thinking about suicide again. They were a close acquaintance and never actually did.
Mar 2022 - Really can't remember much.
Apr 2022 - BIG Month - Rejoined small friend group, previous broke up Sep 2022, became suicidal, joined this website, tried to kill myself by cutting my throat with a shovel, stopped because friend saw me. Now this all happened in a day, very suicidal of course, I expected to jump off a research vessel in Lake Michigan to drown but never got to, then took Sulphuric Acid from vessel and told my friends I was going to kill myself, didn't believe me probably from the previous person who said they were going to kill themself, gave proof, told teacher as soon as possible, sending me to ER for the afternoon and evening (not too bad, finally answering the question in the AMA I made,) all medicine and knives couldn't be used by me (what idiots,) and needed someone else by me at all times. Oh my gosh that was a long list for one month. Oh also I got back in the VTuber Community
May 2022 - Me being suicidal was the new thing with my mini group, which I hated, had to sit with someone who made JOKES about SUICIDE. Also got therapy and anti depressants against my will.
June 2022 - Just barely not able to do multiple attempts, one of which I just didn't want to fall tons of meters down in front of 3 of my friends and my mom, am currently visiting Spain with my Mom and another family which are my friends. Might jump down high Montserrat literally tomorrow though, so wish me luck.
So I hope you enjoyed this list and OOOOH ALMOST 1000 WORDS
100 bottles of milk on the wall 100 bottles of milk, pass it around, toss it around 99 bottles of milk on the wall
99 bottles of milk on the wall, 99 bottles of milk, pass it around, toss it around, 98 bottles of milk on the wall
98 bottles of milk on the wall, 98 bottles of milk, pass it around, toss it around, 97 bottles of milk on the wall
97 bottles of milk on the wall, toss it around, 96 milk
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