Venting In 24 hours my life imploded

[tinyhotot]

Just want to vent a little bit. This site is such a comfort for me. Sorry if things are scrambled I think I'm genuinely losing my mind here. Ive always been the blacksheep of my family bc I'm 99.9% sure i was an sa baby (was definitely an accident) not to mention i'm queer and my family is conservative and black. Yesterday they finally all cut me off, they were tired of me. I think i asked for help too much. My job doesnt pay much, and im behind on rent because, well, lets be real im not making enough to pay it. I was kicked out and this was the only place i found for a "low" price. It was all i had or i would be homeless with two cats and a dog. Anyway I didnt even ask for help this time, my mom justcsaw my account and saw i was in the negatives (the electric bill, not me being financially stupid) and said she cant do this with me anymore and that i wont take financial advice (again cannot afford rent, barely groceries, cant find a better job ive applied to like 100, so how am i supposed to save money?) And she said shes cutting me off. Blocked my number. My little sistwr cut me off too, but over a pair of pants that I lost. Blocked me on everything. My dad has cancer but he wont speak to me since the divorce, he only talks to his biological children (he adopted me) and his son (alsp adopted but he always wanted a boy). I'm definitely either getting evicted or im gonna scramble and relet the apartment. Good thing is i have a place to go. Bad news is i basically sold myself into a relationship for a place to stay. I have to give up my dog and one od my cats. I cant bring anything into the house other than my tv and a tv stand and my clothes, everhthing else that was mine has to be sold or thrown away bc my roommmate/boyfriend doesnt want it in his house. I have no identity outside of him anymore. I tried ending it all yesterday and a stranger talked me off the train tracks as it was coming. I regret getting off. A close friend of mine thinks im a liar about my attempt and she told all our other friends, now im a "baiter" and a manipulator. I cant get any lower. A small part of me hopes things will get better but at this point im ready to try again.

 

[Nikitatos]

Yup. LIfe can go from toleratable to complete crap pretty quickly.

In the span of about two hours, I lost my job and place of living. I had them both for years. My savings was again drained by deep state Nazis. Seems to take them about 3 months to clean out all my money. This is the 2nd time they've done it and the time frame was similar.

This world is run by evil, evil people who get off on human suffering.