Joey
Enlightened
- Jun 14, 2020
- 1,432
I'm secretly feeling the walls are closing around me so fast. Another friend deleted me and I'm just this over-dramatic piece of shit.
I've pushed so many people away and had close friendships with others but I ended up ruining it despite them giving me chances.
I'm a fricken 26 year old loser that is technically a NEET but I've been coasting in my 20s with odd jobs that always bitch and complains but does nothing about it with the situation.
I'm a fricken leech and a spoiled ass brat because my Dad buys me a car and does everything for me but I'm too much of a pussy to drive and fear that I'll get into a car accident. He holds my hand with everything and I've made some stupid ass money decisions and shit.
I don't know what to do and I'm feeling trapped in the situation that I'm in and I feel like there's no way out. I'm scared to die but I do know that we all die eventually. I don't know what's on the otherside but I just don't think I'm cut out for this life.
I know my parents "secretly" love me but just hate me because on how much of a disappoint I am.
Either I die by having Thrombosis for sitting on my ass for soooo long by being addicted to internet/gaming or I end up dying by my own hands (Suicide).
You know how they always tell you to trust your gut? Well a huge part of it is telling me that I'm most likely not going to make it past 30 and it's all because of my bad decisions.
If I do end up dying by my own hands...I just gotta say that I've lived a pretty okay life. A life full of decent adventures and okay memories. A caring family that didn't kick my lazy ass out when I didn't have a job for months on end and just job hopping to dead end job to dead end job.
Man what a ride.
I've pushed so many people away and had close friendships with others but I ended up ruining it despite them giving me chances.
I'm a fricken 26 year old loser that is technically a NEET but I've been coasting in my 20s with odd jobs that always bitch and complains but does nothing about it with the situation.
I'm a fricken leech and a spoiled ass brat because my Dad buys me a car and does everything for me but I'm too much of a pussy to drive and fear that I'll get into a car accident. He holds my hand with everything and I've made some stupid ass money decisions and shit.
I don't know what to do and I'm feeling trapped in the situation that I'm in and I feel like there's no way out. I'm scared to die but I do know that we all die eventually. I don't know what's on the otherside but I just don't think I'm cut out for this life.
I know my parents "secretly" love me but just hate me because on how much of a disappoint I am.
Either I die by having Thrombosis for sitting on my ass for soooo long by being addicted to internet/gaming or I end up dying by my own hands (Suicide).
You know how they always tell you to trust your gut? Well a huge part of it is telling me that I'm most likely not going to make it past 30 and it's all because of my bad decisions.
If I do end up dying by my own hands...I just gotta say that I've lived a pretty okay life. A life full of decent adventures and okay memories. A caring family that didn't kick my lazy ass out when I didn't have a job for months on end and just job hopping to dead end job to dead end job.
Man what a ride.