Imagining when people in your life receive the news and their reaction

[squidsponge]

Sometimes o do this thing where I try to imagine how they would react when they receive the news. Even when im in the same room with for example my club members what will they say, they will try to think back to these interactions and look for any signs. My family who are away from me here abroad. It will shock them but they will move on with time. My friends will go back to our messages, for some like my ex and close friend the signs were there for others nothing.

It's an interesting journey thinking about this.

 

[cosmic-realism]

I just know nobody will say anything about my death.After pretending to be shocked,their lives go back to normal.Same goes for family.There is only a disturbance in someone's life when there is financial dependency.

 

[HenryHenriksen_6E]

Thinking about this is rather uncomfortable for me, however it's a lot on my mind. When I think about my family, I believe I'll cause them much confusion, as they think I have my shit together, and I'm headed for a good future, when in reality I'm feeling so hopeless all the time. It might be arrogant to assume, but it'll probably hurt them a lot when (if) I'm gone. Maybe they'll feel how I felt when I lost other important figures in my life: it being painful at first, until it heals slowly, but never completely.

As of other people, they won't probably care as much. I have a circle of people I hang out with, but they always have friends they're closer with, so I'm never anyone's first choice. Guessing the reactions are going to be temporary sadness, "damn" and "well that's unfortunate". Perhaps some will be angry, calling me selfish, although I'd likely be too dead to care.

 

[painfree]

I know my parents will be crushed bc I've seen their reaction to extended family CTB, especially since I'm the baby of the family (even at 50 yrs ) It was truly heartbreaking watching them cope. My siblings are in denial or clueless so it'll be 'wtf?' to them. My sister may get some blame living so close. Friends, it'll pass quickly given how little we speak already.

 

[dinosavr]

Feels weird to admit it but I actually enjoy thinking about people's reactions. On the other hand though the reactions are what's keeping me alive. I don't want to make anyone suffer, I'd rather be the suffering one here.

 

[folly_]

Feels weird to admit it but I actually enjoy thinking about people's reactions. On the other hand though the reactions are what's keeping me alive. I don't want to make anyone suffer, I'd rather be the suffering one here.

really relatable tbh. i enjoy thinking about it but at the same time it makes me feel terrible for doing so (´ρ`)

 

[lann.371]

I think about it a lot. I do feel bad for making them go through it, but it's really fun to imagine.

 

[CatLvr]

My kids (and my pets) are the only ones I care about. They are also the only ones keeping me here. If it wasn't for them I',f have been gone years ago.

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

Really interesting indeed. I'm quite used to play those "games", trying to have some kind of "vicarious experience", or rather, being an observer of something within the realm of possibilty. Some time ago I started to imagine my brother reaction, in particular. Imagined him crying over my coffin. It was very detailed and overall morbid, but when I finished, I couldn't feel sorry. Not because I was a victim of abuse, nor he's a bad person, but unfortunately, I just can't care. Fucked up situation.

PS: I had those experiences on and off from some time now, it became more and more detailed and I became more and more emotionally indifferent to them

 

[tss fss]

The news might be devastating for your close family and it can trigger them to feel immense grief and guilt that they might never recover from.

However , unless you are a worldwide celebrity like Robin Williams your are not going to be remembered for long outside of your family.

Friends and co-workers would just give the fake reaction of "Ohh I'm so sorry I could never have guessed he was so troubled that he he would something like this , poor guy". So the news of your ctb is going to be devastating for those who really belong to you and identify themselves with you but for others it is just casual unfortunate news.

 

[brickedup]

my parents would be devastated because i was supposed to go forward in life, but thats all they really want for me. my friends would move on quickly. i'm replaceable. my bf maybe would shed tears, but there's no shortage of girls in the world. i wish all them happiness.

 

[ThisGameIsOverrated]

TBH that's the least of my concerns, I can't control other people's reactions and even if I tried leaving a note explaining my views I don't think they'd get it

 

[uselessflesh]

they would swiftly replace me, assuming they already haven't whilst i'm awake. i am naught but an irrelevant, ephemeral facet in the life of everyone i know. no different than an insect stepped on the ground and then forgotten about. a burden at best. though it would hurt to think about my mama's reaction. she wouldn't deserve such agony

 

[cohomology]

Imagining their reactions and the guilt associated is the main reason I haven't been able to go through with it yet.

 

[f1berz]

My kids (and my pets) are the only ones I care about. They are also the only ones keeping me here. If it wasn't for them I',f have been gone years ago.

How old are your kids?

 

[CatLvr]

How old are your kids?

In their early 40s, mid- to late 30s.

 

[f1berz]

In their early 40s, mid- to late 30s.

oh wow, I'm still basically a teenager, did you always feel that way? Kinda just asking because tbh I assumed when I get older I'll feel better but I think that is naive thinking on my end..

 

[RottenApple17]

I always think about this and it's horrible, it literally makes my head hurt. All these consequences would be avoided if assisted suicide was legal.

I hope that in the future (whether in 10 or 300 years), humanity will look back and blush at the absurdity of stupidly prolonging the lives of people who have already tried everything possible to live but could not do so.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The way I see it, them experiencing my death or vice versa is bound to happen one day regardless, so why can't it be now?

 

[hopscotch]

i think ive kept it secret long enough that the thought of anyone finding out makes me a little ill. so i don't like to think about it, even when i daydream about suicide. it seems almost violating at this point if someone discovered i was suicidal, even if it was from, like, my corpse.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't want to think about it.

 

[lifelite]

I wonder how the news is relayed to employer. By police I supose, but will they outright say your employee #31 ctb'd or just say they're not coming anymore. They can't disclose it was ctb I guess and hope

 

[PhDone]

Such an interesting thread. I picture it too. Its an odd quandary to think about how much you're hurting loved ones. I'm living in hell and now I'm going to devastate them? But if we didnt have this goddam stigma attached it would be so different. As someone said, people die all the time. Accidents and illness shock and hurt too. But ctb is like this thing that no matter what the letter says or the rationale of this being a compassionate thing. They'll just get stuck on the guilt. I wish more than anything this f'd up life I'm in could offer me a 'natural' way out. What the hell is it that we can end up trapped here and so worried about others guilt and pain to not act.

For others in my life or past I think they might have a dawning moment as to how theyve impact me and my life.

 

[astr4]

i've been suicidal for the past decade and in and out of hospital for attempts. my parents know i don't want to live. for them, it'll be bittersweet. sad i'm gone but thank god it's over and done with, they don't have to keep waiting for the axe to drop.

the few internet friends i have left don't know. i met them gaming so our conversations are pretty casual. one of them isn't even an adult yet. idk how i'll break the news to them. but they're internet friends, maybe they'll just think i disappeared or died in an accident or maybe just got busy. maybe i'll schedule a message that says i died. idk.

i've cut off or ghosted or fought with everyone else i once had in my life. it's easier to just not form attachments. i'm sure it'll go something like "oh no! anyways," and people will carry on. i'm a pathetic waste of space it feels good to think about dying and killing this piece of shit that's me.

 

[CatLvr]

oh wow, I'm still basically a teenager, did you always feel that way? Kinda just asking because tbh I assumed when I get older I'll feel better but I think that is naive thinking on my end..

I dunno how it is for other folks but for me the urge to ctb has kind of ebbed and flowed my entire life. The earliest I can recall wanting to ctb was 5 years old, I think. I was in kindergarten.

When I turned 18 and left home I didn't have any but passing thoughts of SH or ctb-ing for several years. After my first marriage fell apart those feelings came back. And never really left. Though, as I have mentioned before, I would NEVER act on them because I didn't want to hurt my children like that.

So, I guess you could say you are a bit naive, but then again, each of us walk such a different path, it is hard to tell. It may be your path will be more gentle than mine. I certainly hope so. What I do know is we make an awful lot of our own path. Even when it seems thing are out of our control, sometimes how we think makes just enough of a difference that things can go from being unbearable to at least tolerable for a short time.

When I was your age I didn't expect to live past 25 or 30. Now, here I am almost 70! Go figure! Lol

I wonder how the news is relayed to employer. By police I supose, but will they outright say your employee #31 ctb'd or just say they're not coming anymore. They can't disclose it was ctb I guess and hope

I had a co-worker commit suicide many, many years ago and you are kind of right. It was the police who contacted his employer (also my employer). However, in my jurisdiction anyway, the cops did share his manner of death (suicide), just not how he commited suicide (whether it was SN or hanging or gunshot).

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I am sure all of my friends and family would be sad but the simple fact is that I no longer care about what any of them think. I can only hope that after I die I will have made it clear just how little I cared about them so hopefully that will soften the blow but it's not a big deal for me if it doesn't. If they want to cry over an evil incel loser then they can go right ahead. The only thing they could have done to save me is help me get a girlfriend but they are neither obligated nor expected to even be able to do so anyway so whether they decide to think they could have done something is on them.

 

[TAW122]

While it wouldn't matter when I'm dead (as I'll no longer be sentient to witness nor experience the aftermath and thus irrelevant to me), my predictions based on my understanding of the world and my anecdotal experiences during my life is that there will be varying reactions, from family, friends, and acquaintances. As for family, they would be sad of course, likely maybe never fully getting over it, maybe again looking for signs though with enough time passing by, they would reach some new normalcy of feelings though never really fully coming to terms with it and maybe thinking that, "well if TAW had been more successful in life, he wouldn't have CTB'd!" or something along those lines... though it wouldn't matter for me and if/when I do it, I'm not going to consider the impact because it isn't right nor fair for me to stick around to appease others and ultimately, I'm the person living my own life and experiencing all that is happening to me and around me, nobody else, thus I should have the final say in how much or on what terms I'm willing to CTB over (it's my ultimate choice in the end).

For friends and acquaintances, I would imagine that they would be in shock at first, sad of course, but then over time slowly move on and more/less their life is the same, as they aren't dependent on me. Sure they would claim that they would always think about me (not that I would be there to witness it - but seeing it 2nd/3rd hand from others who had bereavement) but I know it's just virtue signaling and projection on their part rather than genuinely missing it or anything. And the most infuriating and insulting part is "scoping out, looking for signs, and what not". I get that part of the human experience and likely most humans do that instinctively as part of their species, but that is counterproductive towards actually improving quality of life because when people focus on signs of would be CTB, they are only looking at preventing the act, WHILE IGNORING the WHY let alone addressing the causes of CTB! (even when people claim that they will fix things, it's just again, virtue signaling).

Anyways, at the end, I am the only person living my own life and if it becomes unbearable, sure I could try to minimize collateral damage, but in the end, the end to my suffering and my ultimate choice is the most important goal for me and to suffer indefinitely just for others against my volition/free will is antithetic to the principles of pro-choice philosophy.