Discussion I'm worried about what will happen to me after I die?

[autisticalex]

In a strange way I am worried what people will say. I am sort of worried that anti-lockdown activists will try and say that the lockdown caused another suicide - even though I don't particularly care about the rules and I am isolated from others because I am autistic and ugly - not because of lockdown rules.

I am slightly worried about how may parents will react but living to keep others happy is no way to live.

I know logiacally I shouldn't care, but it is really bugging me. Like why clear out browser history? I will be dead anyway.

My problems are permant, being ugly and having autism. There is no cure. Taking pills and ringing up the samartins doesn't help. I feel like most of the help avilable is for people going through truly temporary problems and not having to live life with severe problems everyday.

 

[specklenought]

I get really frustrated calling/texting lifelines too. They always respond in this really annoying way where they repeat back your emotions to you. Like I can visually see the script and it makes me angry and I snap at them. I know they have to follow a certain formula that's been approved but it makes my skin crawl.

You're actually right that many mental health services are not for prolonged acute crisis! At least where I am from.

I'm sorry things are difficult for you. The uncontrollable unknown of postmortem is terrifying for lots of people. I know I don't fully comprehend it. I think my brain just jumps to "but you'll be dead so it doesn't matter" whenever those thoughts arise. (why write a note? You'll be dead!) I don't know if thats better though because then I don't plan to make things easier for the people impacted.

 

[Kramer]

Eternally blank freaks me out. I want it but it feels confining but that's just my consciousness fitting itself into the idea of a void.