Venting Im very scared

[animetal]

Tw: sexual abuse


I dont know who else to talk about this with. Ive never wanted to ctb more than i do rn. I was sexually abused as a child from 13-17 . I am 23 now and i think i may have an std because of it. Lately ive shown many symptoms and im going to get tested tomorrow. But this has conmpletely ruined so many things for me. Not only is this traumatic but it feels like one of my worst fears is coming to life. I feel theres a high chance i have something which makes me really depressed and i cant even fathom what im supposed to do now. I feel so alone with all of this and the fact that if i do have smth it was completely against my own will. Does this mean im gonna be alone forever. I wont ever get to experience that intimacy with another person because of the abuse i experienced as a child. Im definitely going to ctb soon if i get positive results :(

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

Hi friend. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Not all STD's are incurable. Most of them are treatable with anti-biotics! I've had friends who've gotten chlamydia but after taking anti-biotics, it's completely gone. If you do get something that isn't curable, there's always medication to manage it so it won't spread. You'll be okay! You're worthy of love no matter what.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

It's not your fault. Sending much love

 

[soul2realm]

I am so sorry for what had happened to you. And you are not alone and never will be!
What happened to you was not your fault, I am just appalled by how someone can do that to a young child.
You are going to be okay, the bad part of life is behind you. You are going to spread your wings and learn to fly and you will touch the sky. Nothing that happened is your fault. Sending you loads of love and blessings.

 

[BradGuy123]

I'm sorry that happened to you. That happened to a family member in childhood and I saw how much it affected their life. I am not a survivor, so I cannot relate to what you are going through. I can empathize though. If you have health insurance or live in a country with guaranteed healthcare, go to a doctor for the STD. Many STDs can be treated with medications. You don't have to tell the doctor how you got it. He or she won't judge you. He or she is bound by patient confidentiality and cannot reveal to anyone you have an STD. You went through something very traumatic that would have a huge adverse effect on even the hardiest of souls. You are not alone. There are other survivors out there. Please consider talking to a therapist. Search the Psychology Today Web site for a therapist if you're in the USA. (Other countries probably have something similar.) There are therapists who see a lot of people who have gone through that. I've been to a therapist before. My experience is that just talking about it helps. Sending you a virtual hug and lots of love.