im ugly and i want die

[ugly734]

i really don't know what to do in this life. Everywhere I go, they judge by appearance, they don't want me, they use mobbing or direct message that I'm ugly. Even the priests are terrified and they ask why my face is like this and they ask with disgust, they don't want to see me. I can go to the forest and live in a hole there, but the place where I live for over half a year is cold. What to eat? the roots? the bark of trees? This is a tragedy. Suicidal thoughts every day for 10 years.

More alternatives for me?I completely exclude contact with other people.

As a child, my parents did not take care of me, nobody talked to me, everyone was disgusted by me, then I was ugly too, with protruding ears. The brain has formed this way and I just don;t have certain areas of the brain, or they are not well connected like hungry children in Africa. Of course my brothers was ok, they are pretty so they had everything.
Recently I watched a documentary, they said that hungry children in Africa their the brain will never rebuild in the future. The same is with me. There is a tragedy. I have music left, a little sun when it comes out, but I'm in a cold place, still cloudy, I'm fed up.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Anon we cannot pick what we look like but some can help how they feel about it.
I am sorry the world has been so mean to you.. want to vent more I am all ears

 

[WornOutLife]

Unfortunately, they judge people by their physical appearance rather than their inner selves, knowledge, experience, etc. Even at job interviews the handome guy or cute girl have more chances than "the ugly person" to get the job. (or simply, just look at the social networks such as instagram and look how dumb and superficial people can be for only seeing a cute (and fake) face.)

I know how you feel, especially now that I've gained a lot of pounds and people don't consider me attractive anymore. When I was younger and slimmer, girls rained on me. Now? I'm a useless and ugly NEET lol but so what? This life sucks for many other reasons too and I might CTB (properly this time) next year and leave this world and universe once and for all!

 

[StringPuppet]

It sucks when you're literally known by everyone as the ugly dude

 

[Ghost2211]

Sending hugs op. Sorry the world is full of heartless shallow people.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Halo ffect is real OP but at least online we do not care about offline avatar.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

I feel ur pain.i'm ugly too. I got bullied for it when i was younger. It 's horrible how people are judged by their looks. My half sister got the pretty looks.

 

[ugly734]

Unfortunately, they judge people by their physical appearance rather than their inner selves, knowledge, experience, etc. Even at job interviews the handome guy or cute girl have more chances than "the ugly person" to get the job. (or simply, just look at the social networks such as instagram and look how dumb and superficial people can be for only seeing a cute (and fake) face.

I know how you feel, especially now that I've gained a lot of pounds and people don't consider me attractive anymore. When I was younger and slimmer, girls rained on me. Now? I'm a useless and ugly NEET lol but so what? This life sucks for many other reasons too and I might CTB (properly this time) next year and leave this world and universe once and for all!

yeah... I had an interview where a pretty pretty female recruiter said "why not everyone can looks nice", of course I didn't get a job. They just laugh or they are very serious and tell me honestly that they don't want me because I'm ugly. I was also in the employment agency, there were two young and pretty girls who were laughing at me while taking a picture of me.

ps many people do not realize that the ugly ones live at home, and those who they consider ugly actually have normal appearance. They are doing well.


edit: some people said appearance means nothing because we all die or we'll get old - that's so stupid because that doesn't mean anything because we life now, and ugly man can't even work without being bullied by others. Everyone understand that we will die, and everyone after death will have same chance like ugly, but the life of an ugly person does not change, it's just knowledge that doesn't change anything in life, it's still the same shit, and the urge to die.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Sounds like you are around ugly people. People with ugly souls..

 

[Futile]

I feel you, it's a cruel world when you're part of the undesirables.

What's the point of politics, cultures, religions etc. when at the end of the day EVERYONE will hate ugly people with all their hearts? Society will never recognize us as humans, the least we can do is to return the favour

 

[hoping to lose hope]

I try to understand that the hate others project is a symptom of their own suffering and not to fall into that cycle as the world is full of enough pain.

 

[ugly734]

I even have phylosophy that I shouldn't be angry on people, they live in harmony with the world, they have their drives. They just want strong and healthy offspring. I myself cannot look on the mirror ,other people feel the same when they have to look at me. They quickly look away, because the ugly appearance hurts. It triggers negative emotions, negative brain chemistry - that's what science says, and you can see it in other people's reactions.
I would like to leave the world painlessly and with the full acceptance of others ...

Doing harm to others is stupid, because after death I can be in a nice body, it's like harming myself. Just because I want to leave now, doesn't mean that I will go away forever, the world works forever and it won't let me go, i want go back but in other body.

 

[AutoTap]

Damn that sucks :/ I wish you best OP

 

[hoping to lose hope]

In no way did I aim my last message at you OP it would be vile of me to try push some philosophical perspective nto you when I do not know what you are going through as you do not know what I and others are.
Would it help if you never had to leave your house again?

 

[ugly734]

Would it help if you never had to leave your house again?

I would have to have $ 100k on my account, I would have to move to a caravan or a plot because my brother is a psychopath and I live in constant stress and panic. Nobody likes me in this house and nobody tolerates me, there is no question of respect. When there is an opportunity, they will do everything to show me where I belong. They are toxic people. Dad has strong narcissistic traits. Mom and brother psychopaths.

For that kind of money, I could live and work on the Internet without any suicidal thoughts. I know that I can earn up to USD500 on the internet, if I get motivated it is more, but every day I think about death so I have no strength for anything.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Not trying to pro life you but is it possible at all to just become a hermit any other way?
my god OP I am sorry...

 

[ugly734]

Not trying to pro life you but is it possible at all to just become a hermit any other way?
my god OP I am sorry...

I even tried to join a monastery once, but literally nobody wants me, even there they have their preferences. I would have to become homeless and ask for food in homeless centers. I don't know what other way without money.

In the country where I live, you cannot take land in a forest or in a field and live there. There is no question of building a house. You have to buy a plot of land, and make a house according to the plan. There are places on earth where nothing is required, you go and live wherever you want. I cannot have cows, chickens, rabbits because I have no land, no place to live.

edit: I had 5k usd, but my mother asked me nicely, I gave her for expenses, with time she wrapped me up so much that I have nothing. Later she treated me like garbage. But when it comes to money, she could even cry that she really needs it.

 

[VivaldiBR]

I can't even imagine your pain. I wish you well.

It is good to remember that people who are within the standard of beauty can also have a very poor self-esteem.

Oh my god im so angry with your family right now.

 

[Deleted member 13412]

i think life is ugly for making us imprisoned inside this meatcage ): it makes me choke and puke ..life is enemy !!! im so sorry ); i wish u freedom n peace soon ss friend <3

 

[RedPanda]

People can be absolute pieces of turds, people are shallow, I'm so sorry you feel like this.

 

[greebo6]

I understand.
I am and always have been ugly.
Its painful. Very hard and very unfair.
I can't help but just wanted to sympathise and let you know you are not the only one.
But here at least ,you won't be judged on your looks.