I'm trying very hard

[Leonfreak17]

I am checking myself in to phych again tomorrow to have ECT again (because I didn't finish my treatments last time) because I have a stable living situation, a healthy relationship, friends, but I still feel empty. If this doesn't work I am going to hang myself with a belt via my bathroom door, I already tested it and my vision got all fuzzy and I could of given in but I wasn't sad enough yet I guess but now I am and I really just hope this works or I'm just gonna have to catch that bus I guess.

 

[Jon86]

I may give in tonight, been struggling for 20 years. The belt works for you hey? i'll probably fail like usual (abort the attempt) but i'm planning to go out similarly via partial with a rope from a pullup bar. Already, started getting drunk, will probably add in a cocktail of anti-depressants to feel zombied as possible to complete this fucking nightmare.

Suicide is fucking shit, i'm so annoyed by it at this point.

 

[Leonfreak17]

I may give in tonight, been struggling for 20 years. The belt works for you hey? i'll probably fail like usual (abort the attempt) but i'm planning to go out similarly via partial with a rope from a pullup bar. Already, started getting drunk, will probably add in a cocktail of anti-depressants to feel zombied as possible to complete this fucking nightmare.

Suicide is fucking shit, i'm so annoyed by it at this point.

Good luck. I weigh 160 so idk if belt closed in the door will work for everyone, but I hope you have luck with your method. See you on the other side.

 

[pole]

I am checking myself in to phych again tomorrow to have ECT again (because I didn't finish my treatments last time) because I have a stable living situation, a healthy relationship, friends, but I still feel empty. If this doesn't work I am going to hang myself with a belt via my bathroom door, I already tested it and my vision got all fuzzy and I could of given in but I wasn't sad enough yet I guess but now I am and I really just hope this works or I'm just gonna have to catch that bus I guess.

wish you the best of luck in you're attempt to getting better. hope you find the peace you're looking for.

 

[Jon86]

Good luck. I weigh 160 so idk if belt closed in the door will work for everyone, but I hope you have luck with your method. See you on the other side.

Thanks man, good luck to you too. Still feel the usual hesitation, i've tried this method enough to know how much SI i'll feel in the moment, ah fuck, so tired of this shit. If it doesn't work tonight i'll go to a bridge tomorrow to see if I can do that. This shits so dumb, lol ah fucking stupid suicide.

 

[Baskol1]

This feeling of emptiness is a typical symptom of depression. Unfortunately depression will never go completely away. And if someone has depression it does not matter if someone is healthy and successful, the emptiness is still there.

 

[pigglywiggly]

I am checking myself in to phych again tomorrow to have ECT again (because I didn't finish my treatments last time) because I have a stable living situation, a healthy relationship, friends, but I still feel empty. If this doesn't work I am going to hang myself with a belt via my bathroom door, I already tested it and my vision got all fuzzy and I could of given in but I wasn't sad enough yet I guess but now I am and I really just hope this works or I'm just gonna have to catch that bus I guess.

After trying so many different meds and treatments I start to lose even the last bit of hope that I didn't even know I still had.