What they're doing is way too intense. It's like being in prison. It's torture.
I understand that no matter what you say, they're just not going to hear you. I don't know that for sure, you haven't said, so I'm making an assumption. My parents didn't hear me no matter what I said or how I said it, they had filters that distorted or blocked everything. I assume you've tried to speak up for yourself and they just double down.
At this point, your human rights are being violated. You're an adult and have no freedom of movement or action. Why the fuck are they forcing you to stay alive if they won't let you live? It's so counterproductive!
You asked for help. All I can think of would be to contact domestic violence programs and see if you can get into a shelter, rather than a straight up homeless shelter. What you're experiencing qualifies as domestic violence. Imprisonment is a means to control and falls under domestic violence.
DV programs and shelters can potentially help you get other resources for mental health support, finding a job, job training, housing, financial support if you can't work, etc. If you still want to die, then as soon as you get into transitional housing where you have your own room, or actually get your own place, then you'll have the privacy to do it. At best, you'll get the support you need to become independent.
If you choose to go this route, it's like anyone else who gets out of domestic violence. You have to use your strength and courage -- in spite of feeling fear and helplessness -- to reach out for the services, make the effort required to get to the help, and to use it. The services may suck, they may not, but it's an empowered risk and forward movement. I read once that when people are experiencing domestic violence, they can't be saved, they have to use their own desire and power to get out and get support, otherwise they can't overcome it and they will return or fall into another abusiy situation, similar to how helping a baby bird break out of its shell, which is so hard for the bird, will in fact keep it from surviving.
I hope this helped. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. You have my empathy and compassion.
