Venting im trans and im sick of my biggest struggle in life being a political topic.

[illvoid]

I can't take this shit anymore. I don't know if I'll see 30 whether I CTB or not. I want to be happy and recover and leave all this suicidal shit behind me. Everything wrong with me psychologically is treatable, but the world around me isn't. Sometimes I wish I never came to terms with my identity. I was miserable, but I never once was paranoid that living my life and minding my own business would put me in danger. The only moments I can truly enjoy are spent alone. I hate leaving my house. I hate living where I live but the violent rhetoric isn't isolated to one place, it's everywhere. One of the best days of my life was ruined by turning on the news. I wish cis people could understand what it feels like, even just for a moment, to constantly see yourself portrayed as some kind of monster when youve done nothing to deserve it. It feels like there's no escape unless i CTB. Either I continue with my transition and keep watching the world around me become increasingly hostile towards people like me, or I detransition and go back to being completely disturbed by my own reflection. It doesn't matter what I do, the end result will probably be the same regardless. I wish there was a better option. I really, truly do wish I could recover but it feels impossible like this. I just want to enjoy my life for once. I just want to be fucking happy.

 

[motoko_s9]

I know this won't be much comfort, but the war on trans is carefully coordinated and it's a war on everybody's rights. It's about religion and right wing social conservatives taking back control of bodily autonomy and the human rights agenda. It's about establishing precedents and getting a foot back in the door.

The sooner everyone wises up to this, the better.

 

[illvoid]

I know this won't be much comfort, but the war on trans is carefully coordinated and it's a war on everybody's rights. It's about religion and right wing social conservatives taking back control of bodily autonomy and the human rights agenda. It's about establishing precedents and getting a foot back in the door.

The sooner everyone wises up to this, the better.

No, definitely not very comforting on its own, but I do find strange comfort in the fact that people aren't completely blind to this. Thank you for taking the time to reply, i really appreciate it.

 

[enduringwinter]

Not trans but I can sympathise with the disgust with politics, as a stateless immigrant. So unbearably crushing. It makes me hate humanity.

 

[msesis]

I can't take this shit anymore. I don't know if I'll see 30 whether I CTB or not. I want to be happy and recover and leave all this suicidal shit behind me. Everything wrong with me psychologically is treatable, but the world around me isn't. Sometimes I wish I never came to terms with my identity. I was miserable, but I never once was paranoid that living my life and minding my own business would put me in danger. The only moments I can truly enjoy are spent alone. I hate leaving my house. I hate living where I live but the violent rhetoric isn't isolated to one place, it's everywhere. One of the best days of my life was ruined by turning on the news. I wish cis people could understand what it feels like, even just for a moment, to constantly see yourself portrayed as some kind of monster when youve done nothing to deserve it. It feels like there's no escape unless i CTB. Either I continue with my transition and keep watching the world around me become increasingly hostile towards people like me, or I detransition and go back to being completely disturbed by my own reflection. It doesn't matter what I do, the end result will probably be the same regardless. I wish there was a better option. I really, truly do wish I could recover but it feels impossible like this. I just want to enjoy my life for once. I just want to be fucking happy.

I'm sorry, it's really unfair. I hope you don't have to detransition and can find somewhere where you can be safe and celebrated.