Venting Im tired of living for them

[PeterThePizzaGuy55]

My mother cursed me with life and now curses me with guilt about wanting to end it all. She tells me I have to live for her, that she'd be sad if I died. But I don't care.

Every reason I get for how I should live, "You're cared about!!" "I'll miss you!!" "The future awaits you!" None of it means anything to me. The things that used to make me smile..all the sweet words from people I know, seem so shallow now. All of it means nothing. Lies, really. I don't want to live for these people, for anything. I don't understand why I have to! If someone I knew wanted to die, I'd let them since it's their choice and I know how it feels. I should have the rights to my life. But I don't.

I'm tired of it all.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's understandable to not want to live solely for someone else. It's not truly life-affirming nor is it very sustainable over the long term.

Guilting someone isn't actually an effective way of getting someone to change and only breeds resentment but I suppose she doesn't know how else to approach it.

You have free will. Only you can decide what you should value most.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's really insensitive to guilt trip someone like that, if people don't want to deal with loss then they shouldn't choose to selfishly and unfairly procreate. To have the ability to exist certainly is a curse and anyway no matter what people say nobody is obligated to exist here. Grief and loss are just an inevitable part of life, we all have to die and lose everything someday and it's cruel to try and force someone to suffer.

 

[OutOfTheVoid]

i understand why parents care, but they brought us into this world so imo its selfish of them to demand we stay, let alone guilt-trip us into staying

my parents are mostly out of my life now, but i do have a girlfriend who i felt obligated to live for, until that obligation proved suffocating and fell apart. i wish other people would accept our choice to ctb, not try to pressure us to live for their sake. i understand feeling grief, but guilt-tripping or pressuring people to live is disrespectful imo