Venting I'm tired of having to keep pushing myself to do something uncomfortable in order to "heal" mental illness in the long term

[KillingPain267]

As someone with severe social anxiety, even doctors say we need to push ourselves to do get out of the comfort zone in order to "heal" long term. But I've tried doing that my whole life with social anxiety. But it's still uncomfortable. Why should I keep doing something that hurts? Isn't that self-harm? Aren't doctors there to heal pain? I guess not. They are only there to "save" life (actually only extending life span a bit) and brag about it. Compare how many times you've heard bragging about someone saving lives versus someone curing pains.

 

[alienfreak]

Same. I have never even felt like it helped to force myself to do things i dont want to as exposure, it seems like a myth to me

 

[AtheistCDsissy]

This is what I dread about counseling. I started up with a therapist again last week and it was very much this. I have my second appointment tomorrow and I know I'm going to be told to do things that are very uncomfortable. I'm willing to give it a try again, but I feel like I've genuinely tried in the past and it just made things worse. Idk. I'm fucking tired...

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I know exactly what you mean.I have contamination OCD and do exposure therapy for that. It's about choosing to be uncomfortable to avoid doing a compulsion and hopefully get over wanting to do it after a certain amount of time. I have definitely made some progress in the year I've been doing it. But today I told my therapist I wanted to quit therapy as I thought I wasn't capable of going any further. We agreed to a compromise of once a week for a bit,I was doing twice. I can imagine trying to overcome a social anxiety is just as bad. Who wants to be uncomfortable in front of people??!!

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is mainly why I wouldn't even bother trying with therapy or 'recovery'. I know I no longer intend to put myself through feeling afraid, inadequate, uncomfortable, unhappy over and over again with the faint hope that things will improve. It would feel like a waste of both their and my time because the truth of it is- I'm no longer willing to help myself in that regard (social anxiety.) It hasn't been worth it in the past. Why would it be different this time? Plus, some people are genuinly just not reliable or worse. Why would befriending them be a good idea?!!

Maybe it's not healthy but I'm pretty fortunate in that I don't tend to feel lonely. Does loneliness bother you? Is it that you want to be around people but find it difficult or, would you rather just hide away?

 

[nomoredolor]

For. Real. People don't understand how exhausting recovery is. And constantly having to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. We hear you

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

So true. It's just not worth the effort especially since it's not even guaranteed to work.

 

[astr4]

you just have to lie to yourself over and over that people aren't looking at you and aren't judging you and aren't secretly looking down on you and not only is it so much work more than half the time it's a lie they ARE judging you even if they don't say it out loud

getting better is just not worth the amount of lying to yourself needed

 

[KillingPain267]

This is mainly why I wouldn't even bother trying with therapy or 'recovery'. I know I no longer intend to put myself through feeling afraid, inadequate, uncomfortable, unhappy over and over again with the faint hope that things will improve. It would feel like a waste of both their and my time because the truth of it is- I'm no longer willing to help myself in that regard (social anxiety.) It hasn't been worth it in the past. Why would it be different this time? Plus, some people are genuinly just not reliable or worse. Why would befriending them be a good idea?!!

Maybe it's not healthy but I'm pretty fortunate in that I don't tend to feel lonely. Does loneliness bother you? Is it that you want to be around people but find it difficult or, would you rather just hide away?

I feel fine socially around my parents and brother. I just need a few people to satisfy the human need for social interaction. But there is the, you know, whole professional work world full of toxic people where I'll be judged by performance and I've been told by everyone since elementary school that I'm too quiet and need to change. So since then I'm literally afraid to interact with strangers. My doctors and welfare caseworkers expect me to soon be ready to apply for work again, so of course they push me but I know I just can't. They don't understand that to me interacting with strangers feels like going to the frontlines of a war. So yes, I'd rather just hide away... in the trenches so to speak.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel fine socially around my parents and brother. I just need a few people to satisfy the human need for social interaction. But there is the, you know, whole professional work world full of toxic people where I'll be judged by performance and I've been told by everyone since elementary school that I'm too quiet and need to change. So since then I'm literally afraid to interact with strangers. My doctors and welfare caseworkers expect me to soon be ready to apply for work again, so of course they push me but I know I just can't. They don't understand that to me interacting with strangers feels like going to the frontlines of a war. So yes, I'd rather just hide away... in the trenches so to speak.

I'm very much like you. My primary school teacher used to describe me as two eyes peering out from under a rock. I've always been told in jobs that I needed to be more confident. I agree though. It can feel like a terrifying mountain to climb. I'm fortunate in that for now at least, I can work from home and avoid all that crap. It's hard to be what you're not. Do you suppose people can be naturally shy or, do you think it's trauma or bad experiences of some kind that causes it? I guess it can be a mixture. Maybe not terribly confident genes paired with bad life experiences that frighten us further.