FarAcrossTheWater

FarAcrossTheWater

Experienced
Sep 4, 2020
235
I'm tired of living as a second class citizen. When people find out what I've been through, they ghost me. I am scared my employers will find out. I can't really find a SO because I don't think anyone will want to be around a person who has been hospitalized for severe suicidal depression. I don't have willpower to take on good habits because suicide is the only thing that is in my mind. I feel physical aches and pains al the time. I don't think I can ever live a truly happy and meaningful life. I can't be happy. I just can't anything but miserable all the time. I want to stop. I just want it to all stop. I can't beat it. I am irreparably broken. My life is over. There is only one answer.
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
Highly relatable.
 
NormaJeane

NormaJeane

Member
Mar 24, 2021
648
I'm tired of living as a second class citizen. When people find out what I've been through, they ghost me. I am scared my employers will find out. I can't really find a SO because I don't think anyone will want to be around a person who has been hospitalized for severe suicidal depression. I don't have willpower to take on good habits because suicide is the only thing that is in my mind. I feel physical aches and pains al the time. I don't think I can ever live a truly happy and meaningful life. I can't be happy. I just can't anything but miserable all the time. I want to stop. I just want it to all stop. I can't beat it. I am irreparably broken. My life is over. There is only one answer.
You are not alone, there are others here who also suffers. Life is not fair. We did not create ourselves, our parents did, but we are forced to live with ourselves. I would like to be around you and write to you.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
Well, I've been recently blocked by a girl who was really interested in me but blocked me as soon as I mentioned that I was suicidal and also, I've lost all of my friends because of my depression so, I kinda understand how you feel.
However, not all people are like this. I have two students whose mother knows I tried to ctb last year and she is still giving me a chance to work and prove I am just like any other non-suicidal human when it comes to working.

There are not many out there but some individuals will still give us a shot. Even at love! We just gotta be patient I think.

Anyway, hope you can feel better soon.

Hugs!
 
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