Story I’m thinking of leaving my incel mindset

[JayJay]

I was at the psych ward just recently and I thinking of just leaving the incel sphere. Majority of guys there just think about porn and how people reject them. It get boring hearing same old rhetoric overtime. I learned to forgive myself and those who wronged me. I don't want to be part of this cycle where I think the world hates me when it doesn't. I've learned to leave things in the past. It's time to carve out a new happiness. Like it's really all in my head. I've been taking Effexor and it does help a ton. At this point, I just don't care what people want in a relationship. It's none of my business. But I just want to be around people who try to be productive about things. Not just stay home and watch porn and play video games.

 

[Pallf]

While I don't know you, I can definitely say I don't hate or even dislike you. I think you're taking a step in the right direction. I'll be rooting for you

 

[come to dust]

While I am empathetic towards incels, my view of the incel community is that it is hypocritical in many ways.

They talk about how nobody cares about male mental health and then call each other faggot for showing emotion or compassion.

They claim to have no standards in seeking out mates and then say things like they only want a white stacy.

And of course they are racist and homophobic but then claim that people are "incelophobic"

If the community was more collegiate it would be easier to support.

 

[whatevs]

It sounds like you are in a better place now, king. Congrats.

 

[Julgran]

It get boring hearing same old rhetoric overtime.

This is a useful insight. Stop caring about what other people say, because if you have more luck than them, you may find a significant other eventuelly, which you might not have done if you were still listening to other people. It really doesn't matter what's true or false when it comes to dating, as long as you can find your own way forwards.

 

[Pluto]

You are doing good work.

There are many things about modern society that are perverse and unnatural compared to the past 200,000 years of human history. Lack of physical exercise due to automobiles/supermarkets/electronic devices is one. Weird conditioning as society tries to force its latest cultural ideas about gender is another. Porn as a 'solution' to unfulfilling sexual interactions is one of the most perverse of all.

The movement you speak of is nothing short of an expression of the lowliest sickness of substandard men in society. A mixture of inaction and self-pity. A combination of hatred and fragility. A bundle of fury and laziness. Of ignorance and arrogance.

The one good thing about it is that it demonstrates the exact opposite of how a real man solves problems. Now that you're ready to change, you know intuitively how to direct your energies wisely. When to kick ass (eg. physical fitness, standing for what you believe in, battling inner demons) and when to love tenderly (service to others). The circumstances of your life will fall into place by themselves as your new mindset manifests.

 

[ph0enix]

nice one

 

[Laggy]

I would imagine there's comfort in a community that tells you the circumstances of your misery aren't your fault. But maybe you can grow more as a person when you move on. Sounds like a mature decision.

 

[SarRy]

Bravo.
The incel "community" seems to thrive on despair. I understand the concept of being "involuntarily celibate" and it is a harsh reality for many. That being said, there is so much more to life than being in a romantic relationship, having intercourse, or even having children. Even if those things are impossible to have, there are other things in life to make it worth living. Count your blessings, not your curses. Take pride and find happiness in what you can do. It may be helpful to understand why you have trouble with relationships. Maybe, some problems can be fixed. Maybe, some can't. Regardless, there are other things to focus on and forming an identity around a negative is hardly worthwhile. You can't have a positive self-perception when you identify who you are by your shortcomings.

 

[MetroTransit]

Wishing you the best, I used to be into that stuff a while back and realized that it was a mindset that destines you for failure, frustration, and despair. Taking self ownership and working on identifying and addressing your personal flaws is the start. Truth is there is a lot more to life than sex and tying your sense of self worth to it is a bad idea. It is easy to project your own problems onto others, but you will live a miserable life.

 

[rockyraccoon]

The incel community seems like a major crab bucket. They are more interested in spreading their rhetoric than helping others. It's good to separate yourself from them, it's a very depressing place.

 

[Grav]

Congrats! You're breaking out of an echo chamber that isn't helping you. Lots of tar pits in this world to suck you in and never let go, misery loves company. Good luck on your new journey.