Venting I'm the problem

[fleetingnight]

I just don't understand how it's possible for someone to be as bad at everything as I am. I'm trying everything, and I can't remember the last time I succeeded. I know I complain about owrk all the time, but I can't even get gig jobs. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I follow guides and tutorials, I pay with the little money I have to market myself, but nothing works. I watch videos on stupid things like how to sound confident or public speaking, just because I need to know how to sound like a normal person when I talk, but I still can't do it. I don't get it. I just can't do anything right. I don't even want to die right now, but I feel like I'm being forced. It keeps being proved to me that a person like me can't survive in this world, even if they want to. It's just unfair. I'm so bad at things that most people don't even believe me that I'm trying, because if anything, I make things worse. I jsut don't know what to do anymore. I really don't. Trying doens't help. Nothing helps.

I don't know hwy I post here for comfort, probably because I don't feel as bad about burdening people on a site that's made for heavy discussions, and because a hotline worker would just say "wow that's tough, what do you think you should do about it?" as if I know

 

[Mirrory Me]

IMO it's just tough to get there and has nothing to do with you personally- you are trying your best. :/

 

[fleetingnight]

Someone come and beat me to death or to unconsciousness or just til I'm in pain, any of it is better than this

 

[lovedread]

I just don't understand how it's possible for someone to be as bad at everything as I am. I'm trying everything, and I can't remember the last time I succeeded. I know I complain about owrk all the time, but I can't even get gig jobs. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I follow guides and tutorials, I pay with the little money I have to market myself, but nothing works. I watch videos on stupid things like how to sound confident or public speaking, just because I need to know how to sound like a normal person when I talk, but I still can't do it. I don't get it. I just can't do anything right. I don't even want to die right now, but I feel like I'm being forced. It keeps being proved to me that a person like me can't survive in this world, even if they want to. It's just unfair. I'm so bad at things that most people don't even believe me that I'm trying, because if anything, I make things worse. I jsut don't know what to do anymore. I really don't. Trying doens't help. Nothing helps.

I don't know hwy I post here for comfort, probably because I don't feel as bad about burdening people on a site that's made for heavy discussions, and because a hotline worker would just say "wow that's tough, what do you think you should do about it?" as if I know

I wish I could give you a hug. This post is so relatable. Im so sorry for your pain