I'm the least successful person I know. I'm probably the least successful graduate of my college…everyone else has gone on to do great things or make something out of themselves and here I am, a shut-in waiting to die. Lmao
I will not discount your feelings or emotions, those are valid. However, aren't you being too hard on yourself? Most people don't live a very glamorous life, and even if you do think that you're doing worse than everyone else, I think is it likely that there are people like you, you don't notice them much. Comparison is one hell of a thing, since it is natural for us to conduct a self-assessment through benchmarking our own live in comparison to other people's.
One thing I'd like to add is that you should know that not everything is your fault here. People develop a certain way depending on their life experience. Sadly, some of us may not have the ideal developmental period during childhood, and this can really screw most people up. It seems like you have a severe self-esteem issue and possibly social anxiety and avoidant behavior as well. Im not sure that you've experienced in the past, but I' sure a good deal of it was greatly influenced by factors outside your control. If you think that you still contributed to your own 'failure', you still need to understand that everyone fails, inevitably. However, some people might not have the chance to come back from that, a disadvantaged position. There could be people who screwed up more than you did, but they were in a position to get back on their feet.
Also, ask yourself whether the assessment you've done to yourself is fair. I suffered with something similar, sometimes I hold myself to a standard that even I won't hold against other people. This is a known effect from childhood trauma/neglect. Also just because you don't know the possible childhood trauma/neglect that you might've experienced that doesn't mean you have no 'cause'. Psychological disorders are very complex and can be very subtle and can be easily scoffed at as merely an unfortunate minor experience.
I'm not saying that you are not allowed to feel a certain way,
here's my opinion on that.
There could be hope left or you, and I believe that is. The desire to pursue it or not is up to you. However, it is important to have a more objective (although fully objective might be impossible) assessment of your own situation and decide to the best that you could what path forward you want to wish to pursue.
