I'm terrorfied

[bigj75]

Its almost like i can see everything getting worse in my life due to depression and there isn't a thing I can do about it. Like seeing the future but being unable to alter it no matter how hard you try. Such a frightening feeling. Busting my ass to try to find a successful way to ctb and knowing if I don't I'll end up in an even worse situation than I'm in now.

 

[Nem]

Its almost like i can see everything getting worse in my life due to depression and there isn't a thing I can do about it. Like seeing the future but being unable to alter it no matter how hard you try. Such a frightening feeling. Busting my ass to try to find a successful way to ctb and knowing if I don't I'll end up in an even worse situation than I'm in now.

Yep, sorry to hear that. For myself, from my experience things have only gotten worse since I became suicidal a couple of years ago

 

[bigj75]

Yep, sorry to hear that. For myself, from my experience things have only gotten worse since I became suicidal a couple of years ago

I just can't comprehend how things turned out. You would think there would be an easier way out of this but there isn't.

 

[Jai]

I just can't comprehend how things turned out. You would think there would be an easier way out of this but there isn't.

Where all terrified mate no shame in it and good luck

 

[Nem]

I just can't comprehend how things turned out. You would think there would be an easier way out of this but there isn't.

I know, I feel the exact same way. It happens so quick too, almost right before your eyes things change for the worst. Depression is almost like having a dream where you can't do something (like scream or run) but you want to. It's so incapacitating in that regard, mine involves damage as well but it's got depression there too.

 

[windingdown]

I do think we're all in the same boat, if that helps (at least conceptually, if not practically). Trapped. In between a life that's too awful to live every day, and a death that's too horrifying or just frightening to choose. I think many people are here to find the most palatable, or just doable, way out of this dreadful quandary.

 

[Lra888]

Its almost like i can see everything getting worse in my life due to depression and there isn't a thing I can do about it. Like seeing the future but being unable to alter it no matter how hard you try. Such a frightening feeling. Busting my ass to try to find a successful way to ctb and knowing if I don't I'll end up in an even worse situation than I'm in now.

I feel this very much. Things are getting worse as days go by and I have to get out of here.

 

[Punished snake]

With or without depression my life is fucked and going to get worst too. Depression is just me realizing

 

[bigj75]

With or without depression my life is fucked and going to get worst too. Depression is just me realizing

same. I had used to have a life full of potential. Now it's hell.

 

[Lra888]

same. I had used to have a life full of potential. Now it's hell.

Me too. I've always struggled with mental illness but for a period I was able to keep it together. I was suddenly caugh off guard by multiple horrible life events that completely destroyed me.

 

[bigj75]

I'm literally going to have to ctb in the next few weeks or so. No more of this shit. It needs to stop. I don't care the method as long as it succeeds.

 

[Jai]

Me too. I've always struggled with mental illness but for a period I was able to keep it together. I was suddenly caugh off guard by multiple horrible life events that completely destroyed me.

Feel for you mate I was doing the right thing got success and within two weeks my world got upside down and I couldn't fight back and literally got destroyed humiliated and betrayed by the one I loved most I wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy

 

[2CropcircleUNeedHelp]

You can't do a thing about it? This is why you hate yourself, you cannot love yourself if you cannot make your body feel good.

 

[Nem]

I'm literally going to have to ctb in the next few weeks or so. No more of this shit. It needs to stop. I don't care the method as long as it succeeds.

I hear you bro, this is crazy crap that's happening to us. I need to get out of here and quickly too

 

[zadig777]

the problem isnt that we are crap atm
the real problem is that in future we will not recover
i have felt like shit before but i knew that some time,even if it takes years if i recover,than i will take crap
now that i know that i will never recover that twists the situation

 

[Lra888]

the problem isnt that we are crap atm
the real problem is that in future we will not recover
i have felt like shit before but i knew that some time,even if it takes years if i recover,than i will take crap
now that i know that i will never recover that twists the situation

Very well put. So much is ruined beyond repair and each day that I'm here hurts and wears me down more. It's not an option for me to keep living like this.

 

[Nem]

Very well put. So much is ruined beyond repair and each day that I'm here hurts and wears me down more. It's not an option for me to keep living like this.

Absolutely!!!! I made the mistake of thinking things can get better, screw that...they got wayyyyyy worse and I mean wayyyyyyy worse.

 

[Schopenhauer]

The scary thing is that it can always get worse. There's no bottom. Or maybe the hole is so deep that it's effectively bottomless.

 

[Nem]

I cannot say with certainty that things will get better or worse...in my situation they did get much worse though

 

[bigj75]

The scary thing is that it can always get worse. There's no bottom. Or maybe the hole is so deep that it's effectively bottomless.

I've heard this preached alot. That no matter how bad you think it is things can get worse.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

I cannot say with certainty that things will get better or worse...in my situation they did get much worse though

Hard to believe isn't it. Bottomless. I would have to agree with that Nem.

 

[AndyCurious]

Hard to believe isn't it. Bottomless. I would have to agree with that Nem.

You and me both poof...

 

[bigj75]

There is no mercy either. I pray every day for atleast a peaceful death but I probably won't even get that.

 

[AndyCurious]

There is no mercy either. I pray every day for atleast a peaceful death but I probably won't even get that.

Never say never, it is possible

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Never say never, it is possible

Absolutely right Andy. It is entirely in your venue big...you will know peace. I am sure of it...

 

[Deutschv2]

Suicide only has to work once. Have faith for the final act.

 

[Susannah]

I've heard this preached alot. That no matter how bad you think it is things can get worse.

I hate that expression. I know my own bottom, and I've been here for so long. In my opinon, it can't get worse unless you think so. Before I got injured, I was depressed. All the physical pain made me feel less sad actually. Of course, now I'm both in pain AND depressed, lol.