Lightina Yagami
Member
- Feb 22, 2023
- 6
I'm starting to realize that it doesn't matter if I talk to friends irl or online bc it keeps going wrong. I can't seem to like anyone I'm talking to bc everytime they make a normal human mistake I already don't like them anymore to the point where a lot of the time I want to hurt them so I have to distance myself from them. After that I have to wait a few months to even be able to talk to that person again without being absolutely disgusted by their presence.
Ik this is an issue that has to do with me and that to be able to socialize with literally anyone I would probably have to work on my "superiority complex" but don't really know how to start bc even though I'm self aware I'm also kinda not. Bc I think all the "self awareness" I got is somehow another way to feed into my ego bc deep down I don't think I just have a superiority complex but that I'm actually better than everyone else. It's also not like I don't like socializing bc I love getting all the attention I get while socializing. I mean I was one of the "popular girls" in
In school most of the classes I was in (I don't consider myself ever being part of the mean girls group though, most of the time those girls weren't even well liked anyway) But even then I was never able to attach myself onto them/my "friends" like they attached themselves onto me. Like it was extremely obvious that I didn't care the same amount abt my "friends" as they did for me. And I don't even only have this with friends, I have this with family and sometimes even youtubers/streamers I watch. So now i'm in this constant cycle of making online friends, acting like I never met ppl as amazing as them just to block them/stop talking to them around a week later.
Like Ik I can't be the only one who has this but need to see someone say that they relate to this.
Ik this is an issue that has to do with me and that to be able to socialize with literally anyone I would probably have to work on my "superiority complex" but don't really know how to start bc even though I'm self aware I'm also kinda not. Bc I think all the "self awareness" I got is somehow another way to feed into my ego bc deep down I don't think I just have a superiority complex but that I'm actually better than everyone else. It's also not like I don't like socializing bc I love getting all the attention I get while socializing. I mean I was one of the "popular girls" in
In school most of the classes I was in (I don't consider myself ever being part of the mean girls group though, most of the time those girls weren't even well liked anyway) But even then I was never able to attach myself onto them/my "friends" like they attached themselves onto me. Like it was extremely obvious that I didn't care the same amount abt my "friends" as they did for me. And I don't even only have this with friends, I have this with family and sometimes even youtubers/streamers I watch. So now i'm in this constant cycle of making online friends, acting like I never met ppl as amazing as them just to block them/stop talking to them around a week later.
Like Ik I can't be the only one who has this but need to see someone say that they relate to this.
