BadTypePokemon
New Member
- Dec 18, 2021
- 3
I'm a new member, although I've been on this forum for years.
I just can't take it anymore, the silence, I can't take it. I never get to talk to anybody about anything which I can't complain about, because I've pushed everybody in my life away.
I absolutely hate being alone. I spend almost all of my time alone. It seems like I do everything by myself. It seems like going to bed and waking up every morning gets harder and harder every week. I hate being alone, but at the same time I hate being around other people because I can't stop the anxiety. I don't know why, I'm just so afraid of embarrassing myself all the time. I feel like my life is just a collection of embarrassing memories. It's like I choose to be alone because it's more safe that way, it's more predictable and there's no room to disappoint anybody but myself; but at the same time I'm just like any other human who longs for companionship to eliminate the loneliness.
This is my first post. I'm sorry if this is redundant, if this is something that somebody has vented about before. I just can't take it, I have to vocalize at least a little bit before I punch another hole in my wall. I'm so sorry guys.
I just can't take it anymore, the silence, I can't take it. I never get to talk to anybody about anything which I can't complain about, because I've pushed everybody in my life away.
I absolutely hate being alone. I spend almost all of my time alone. It seems like I do everything by myself. It seems like going to bed and waking up every morning gets harder and harder every week. I hate being alone, but at the same time I hate being around other people because I can't stop the anxiety. I don't know why, I'm just so afraid of embarrassing myself all the time. I feel like my life is just a collection of embarrassing memories. It's like I choose to be alone because it's more safe that way, it's more predictable and there's no room to disappoint anybody but myself; but at the same time I'm just like any other human who longs for companionship to eliminate the loneliness.
This is my first post. I'm sorry if this is redundant, if this is something that somebody has vented about before. I just can't take it, I have to vocalize at least a little bit before I punch another hole in my wall. I'm so sorry guys.