i'm so tired of this

[sulli]

venting time. every time i make a friend, regardless of their gender, they almost invariably develop feelings for me and i have to reject them which i'm really bad at because i hate letting people down. this just happened again tonight with a girl from my partial hospitalization program. mind you i only started the program two weeks ago but she just professed her love for me out of nowhere. there has to be some middle ground between romantic relationships and the total isolation that had me decomposing from the inside out i'm in no shape to be dated by anybody. i have no plans for the future, i'm a molotov cocktail of mental illnesses, and i need so much alone time i might as well be a housecat instead of a human being. i'm really not interested in relationships right now. i'm interested in skyrim and netflix and trying to heal. it makes me want to go back to being a recluse but i know that would just be even worse for my mental state

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

Friends/good friends with benefits?

I'm not in a great place, so I'm not actively looking. But I am in an FWB relationship with a close friend. She has attachment issues so I keep some hopes up (I caught feelings) but don't pressure the status quo.

We hang around our friend group as just friends every week or so, she shows up at my place every two weeksish. Here we usually chill, watch some TV, play videogames, cook something, have sex, cuddle for a good bit and that's it.

It's not as intense as a relationship and it's not exclusive. But given both our situations in life, the arrangement works well for us. Maybe you can try something similar.

 

[SexyIncél]

Yowza! Out of random curiosity, what attributes of you drive people people to become love-struck?

 

[sulli]

Friends/good friends with benefits?

I'm not in a great place, so I'm not actively looking. But I am in an FWB relationship with a close friend. She has attachment issues so I keep some hopes up (I caught feelings) but don't pressure the status quo.

We hang around our friend group as just friends every week or so, she shows up at my place every two weeksish. Here we usually chill, watch some TV, play videogames, cook something, have sex, cuddle for a good bit and that's it.

It's not as intense as a relationship and it's not exclusive. But given both our situations in life, the arrangement works well for us. Maybe you can try something similar.

maybe but this girl kinda looks like an oompa loompa

Yowza! Out of random curiosity, what attributes of you drive people people to become love-struck?

i'm very conventionally attractive but i did not grow up that way i was the awkward ugly duckling until after high school so i had to develop a charming personality too

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

maybe but this girl kinda looks like an oompa loompa

I mean, of course only if you're attracted to them. I prefer women on the heavier side but you obviously don't. I don t know if you have issues rejecting people but the word "No" can be a surprisingly powerful tool.

 

[sulli]

I mean, of course only if you're attracted to them. I prefer women on the heavier side but you obviously don't. I don t know if you have issues rejecting people but the word "No" can be a surprisingly powerful tool.

i tend to deflect with humor even in inappropriate settings for it, my bad i love chubby girls. i don't like this girl because she accused me of playing with her feelings when i didn't even realize she liked me lol. also because she's extremely wasteful with food and that's an issue for me and my brain

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

accused me of playing with her feelings when i didn't even realize she liked me lol.

Oh my god run

That's straight up manipulative, yeah you don't need that BS. I had a case where a woman thought she was "hitting on me" for starting small talk in college. After a whole semester we kissed at a party and I thought that was it. She gave me a gift when I went to her place months after and immediately started being weird with me. Even my sister told me not to stick dick in crazy. I understand your situation a bit haha

 

[sulli]

Oh my god run

That's straight up manipulative, yeah you don't need that BS. I had a case where a woman thought she was "hitting on me" for starting small talk in college. After a whole semester we kissed at a party and I thought that was it. She gave me a gift when I went to her place months after and immediately started being weird with me. Even my sister told me not to stick dick in crazy. I understand your situation a bit haha

so... she sent me a notes app love confession since i didn't go to php today and said she's in love with me and would take a bullet for me and made a little chart with all the things she likes about me. i'm like half convinced she might be wearing my skin by the end of this

 

[alonely]

and would take a bullet for me

tbf i'd take a bullet for you too. nothing to do with you, though. more for personal reasons.

 

[sulli]

tbf i'd take a bullet for you too. nothing to do with you, though. more for personal reasons.

i'd much rather it be for CTB purposes than 'falling madly in love with me after two weeks' purposes should i ever have a bullet coming at me i shall endeavor to be in your vicinity

 

[R.E.N.]

Have you tried lying about having a partner in beginning conversations?
I notice that whenever I talk to people they will always make sure to mention they have a partner. It's like a speed run for them.

 

[sulli]

Have you tried lying about having a partner in beginning conversations?
I notice that whenever I talk to people they will always make sure to mention they have a partner. It's like a speed run for them.

that's a good idea, wish it had occurred to me before all this. maybe i can say i just remembered i've been happily married to the love of my life for six years and we honeymooned in the maldives

 

[R.E.N.]

that's a good idea, wish it had occurred to me before all this. maybe i can say i just remembered i've been happily married to the love of my life for six years and we honeymooned in the maldives

Haha
Do try to make it plausible, but yes bonus points for making it seem like you are completely romantically closed off. Lying about being ace works as well, but it isn't as guaranteed.

 

[psp3000]

I have this problem as well

you give them warnings

and then they get upset when you exhibit signs (the warnings) of not being well when together

maybe it's a limerance thing who knows
but I hope it's not the whole "I can fix them" thing

 

[sulli]

I have this problem as well

you give them warnings

and then they get upset when you exhibit signs (the warnings) of not being well when together

maybe it's a limerance thing who knows
but I hope it's not the whole "I can fix them" thing

literally omg like... i promise none of them would want to date me if they knew what dating someone with bpd is actually like

 

[sulli]

update for my adoring public
she continued to persist in asking me out over and over but i still successfully evaded
she's mad at me now though and it seems we're not on speaking terms i told her it annoyed me when she threw off on everything i said i liked (and inserted herself into my conversations with other people to do the same if my attention wasn't on her) and she hasn't talked to me since. you don't have to like everything i like (though admittedly i'd be unlikely to date someone with the palate of a toddler who also hates every show or movie or video game i say i enjoyed) but that's just, like, your opinion, mannnn

 

[Deathisbetter]

update for my adoring public
she continued to persist in asking me out over and over but i still successfully evaded
she's mad at me now though and it seems we're not on speaking terms i told her it annoyed me when she threw off on everything i said i liked (and inserted herself into my conversations with other people to do the same if my attention wasn't on her) and she hasn't talked to me since. you don't have to like everything i like (though admittedly i'd be unlikely to date someone with the palate of a toddler who also hates every show or movie or video game i say i enjoyed) but that's just, like, your opinion, mannnn

Sorry you had to put up witb that you deserve better it would be an extremely uncomfortable situation eventually she will lose interest and go away

 

[sulli]

Sorry you had to put up witb that you deserve better it would be an extremely uncomfortable situation eventually she will lose interest and go away

i hope so. she just got over being mad at me and asked me to move in with her

 

[sulli]

she sent me a video about how in love with me she is with like... random footage of a lighter flame and then a picture of me dhfhdbgd this is making my skin crawl

 

[Zegers]

Wow, it must be so hard when people fall in love with you and you have to reject them. How difficult life is for alluring people.

 

[sulli]

Wow, it must be so hard when people fall in love with you and you have to reject them. How difficult life is for alluring people.

this but unironically

 

[Deathisbetter]

this but unironically

I am not sure what to do in that situation are you able to block her is she someone you know in real life in your country

this but unironically

I'd just block and move on but that's me um you could tell her you are making me really uncomfortable please stop! your safety and your feelings matter more than someone on the internet

this but unironically

you are not responsible for her feelings or her actions

 

[sulli]

I am not sure what to do in that situation are you able to block her is she someone you know in real life in your country

I'd just block and move on but that's me um you could tell her you are making me really uncomfortable please stop! your safety and your feelings matter more than someone on the internet

you are not responsible for her feelings or her actions

she's not someone on the internet it's someone i see every weekday in partial hospitalization program lol. it's making me consider dropping out because this is so uncomfortable.

 

[psp3000]

she's not someone on the internet it's someone i see every weekday in partial hospitalization program lol. it's making me consider dropping out because this is so uncomfortable.

is there anyway you can report her to the staff/ is there anything the staff can do ? or would they not separate her or transfer her to a different program/group?

I would assume they would prioritize others safety

sorry if this doesn't make any sense since I am not familiar with said program(s) or how they work etc.

 

[sulli]

is there anyway you can report her to the staff/ is there anything the staff can do ? or would they not separate her or transfer her to a different program/group?

I would assume they would prioritize others safety

sorry if this doesn't make any sense since I am not familiar with said program(s) or how they work etc.

she said she won't be there for most of this week because of medical appointments so i might try to do that

 

[psp3000]

she said she won't be there for most of this week because of medical appointments so i might try to do that

thought about this thread again

and was wondering if everything worked out and if she was placed elsewhere

 

[sulli]

thought about this thread again

and was wondering if everything worked out and if she was placed elsewhere

unfortunately our saga has continued to develop she got mad at me for not replying for a day or so and got back together with her abusive ex to get back at me for it which was fine but she told that girl i was the one pursuing her and got her to message me calling me a creep and telling me to stay away from her because she was hers first. i just kinda said lol that's not what happened and ignored it and things were quiet for a while. i haven't been going to php much, only twice in the last couple weeks because i've been struggling majorly with insomnia and had some errands to run and she wasn't there both times so i haven't seen her. i did tell them what was going on but idk what they've done about it. i guess she and that ex broke up again bc the ex messaged me again saying she believed me suddenly and she started hitting on me too