I'm so tired of this world

[Red87]

I'm just ready to go I wish I could of done it the other night it's just not worth it to live anymore im alone all the time I don't see no future for myself tired of the drama of this life just ready for peace it's something I've never had ever day I wake up and ask why am I even here to me there's really never been a point of living hopefully soon I'll be able to ctb so I can have the freedom and peace I long for

 

[jameslb72]

Hello, I feel the same way i have been planning to end my life . I sometimes fear that if i do , death will be worse. I feel like ive lived my whole life ruled and ultimately paralysed with fear. The only thing i had to live for was my cat and he died last month. Im in my 40s and ive started taking my old teddy bear to bed. THe emptiness i feel is dreadful. I feel so bad about myself i dont want an afterlife even though i firmly believe in it. I just wish to cease to exist, to be totally erased like I was never here.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Same, should've ended it weeks ago when I had the chance; reliving the same hellish day is pointless.

 

[Red87]

Yeah I know what u mean I had the sn in my mouth but didn't get to drink it because my mom called and my sister in-law showed up to bring my brother car it sucked I was so close I couldn't do it yesterday because I had indigestion I was worried it would make taking it worse I might try tonight but I don't have a scale so I'm still deciding on when
The only comfort I get is sleeping with my husband hat I know it's weird but he was wearing it when he died this the only thing I have of him left it's the only way I get sleep I'm just ready to go into the after so I can be with him again I don't know what's there but I'm willing to go no matter what I feel him calling me and the weird thing is Everytime I drive in my car this song come on you probably heard of it it's like he's calling me I know it's probably ridiculous but it only comes on when I'm in the car on ever station I turn to

 

[jameslb72]

that is how i feel now, ive had depression all my life since childhood, but there was always a motivation still there. Ive had this so long i feel like ive gone through a window into another state. Its hard to explain but i feel like i have reached a total dead end now. IM trapped in a set of circumstances that i am so entrenched in i cant get out. I took a massive overdose years ago but it didnt work and it should have. My mother actually came in the room and saw me lying on the floor and she said do you want me to just let you go? i replied yes but gradually i recovered. Im a coward and im terrified of doing something that will be painful in anyway. I pray for my heart to fail.

 

[Alucard]

 

[Red87]

The music is pretty love the art alucard it's definitely different never heard of them before

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

Tired of living as well. Too painful.

 

[bigdog]

I would love to live a good life but unfortunately I have no other option

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I wonder if there's something in our "wiring" that's just different. Truth be told, even when I was "living a good life" — earning good money, starting a family, achieving career goals — I still thought about suicide. I just never thought this world was for me. I always preferred the idea of non-existence over existence. All the "good" that was happening was me just trying to survive — trying to see if I could find joy or peace — but I couldn't. Makes me think I'm not supposed to find joy or peace. This world isn't for me.

Now I've lost all that and it's become so much clearer that this is where I was always heading. I need to go.

 

[Zappfe lover]

Same, should've ended it weeks ago when I had the chance; reliving the same hellish day is pointless.

Sorry that things didn't work out for you...

 

[bigdog]

Shit can't wait for SN to arrive

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Sorry that things didn't work out for you...

Thanks, I never really expected them to anyways. There's nothing left to stop me anymore except the right time to go.

 

[nooo2]

Me to, I just found out a friend went through some child sexual abuse by a family member and I'm beyond disgusted, I also started to relapse and remember how huge child sex trafficking and child pornography is, just utterly disgusting. Things like that fuel my depression as well, not just my personal issues I have going on. I don't want to live in a world with people like this, where this type of shit is encouraged and covered up by our government and not also that but humans literally destroying earth.

 

[Loner]

I'm just ready to go I wish I could of done it the other night it's just not worth it to live anymore im alone all the time I don't see no future for myself tired of the drama of this life just ready for peace it's something I've never had ever day I wake up and ask why am I even here to me there's really never been a point of living hopefully soon I'll be able to ctb so I can have the freedom and peace I long for

I feel the same. My mum and my husband are the reason I am still here. I am so tired of being in this world.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Me to, I just found out a friend went through some child sexual abuse by a family member and I'm beyond disgusted, I also started to relapse and remember how huge child sex trafficking and child pornography is, just utterly disgusting. Things like that fuel my depression as well, not just my personal issues I have going on. I don't want to live in a world with people like this, where this type of shit is encouraged and covered up by our government and not also that but humans literally destroying earth.

I found out the same about a family member several months after my suicide attempt and it only added more fuel to the fire. Neither of us have talked about it since and she still willingly interacts with our abusive family which makes it that much worse. I also have to put up with this disgusting person and pretend around them but that's because I don't have a choice.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry that you feel this way. I feel this way too about the world and I'm only alive until I can go in peace, just waiting for the right moment to go through with my plan. With the pandemic and stuff going on, it is difficult to find an opening, but still looking for it.