Venting I’m so sick of thinking about myself

[lavenderlilylies]

I fear I might be a self absorbed person. I can't go a second without being way too concerned with myself. I'm constantly over analyzing my own actions and thoughts, it's not necessarily overthinking, but I exceeded the limits of introspection to a point of self obsession.
I'm way too focused on myself that I'm completely missing out on the world around me. When i say I live in my head, I'm not exaggerating, the world is spinning while I'm looking so deep inwards it's blinding me.
I'm a reserved person, i don't talk much and don't prefer to talk about myself, at least I used to be, but i haven't been able to outsource topics of conversation for years now. it's all me me me me, i can't seem to talk or think about anything but myself. It's very shameful.
Like just look at how long this and every other thread I started are. How ironic.

 

[fawnfurever]

Oh god, it's like you're describing me exactly. I understand you. I'm in deep shit considering I have had my family worried about me due to suicidal ideation. Now more than ever I'm self-absorbed, wanting to be out of this reality knowing I've been and still continue to be self-absorbed. Once people know you almost have to want to get better. Otherwise you're now just being a selfish asshole. And I am. :/

 

[Johnzaga23]

what do you think about activism?

 

[lavenderlilylies]

what do you think about activism?

Hey, I completely missed your comment somehow. I also don't know how to answer it, what do you mean what do i think about activism?
there are certain topics that get my blood boiling, like social inequality, racism, sexism, gun violence. But I know I can't change anything, so unless some event is directly sparking a conversation, I actively try avoiding thinking about them to reserve my own sanity