Help im so scared i need to be reassured

[uselessflesh]

few days ago i attempted by choking myself and ever since then i've been having bad headaches and feeling odd in general, it's been traumatizing to think about so i've been trying to hold it down in general but just now like barely under an hour ago i just had what seemed like a seizure? it started out with zoning out and putting down my phone which was the first sign of concern but then i started convulsing horribly, in small bursts and trembling. i was trying my best to text my friend all throughout it because i was terrified, i had never had a seizure before but said friend knew about my attempt and gave me tips for if i happened to have any...which i followed and they helped, i;e finger in the mouth. after the really bad convulsions i was just regularly trembling and i could only cry a little and lay down. i felt bad when laying down again and it's hard to breathe, but it always is due to my anxiety so i can't tell if it's specific to this event. right now i'm still struggling to breathe and kind of in a state of shock. my friend did say it could just be aftershock from the trauma of attempting, or tremors from anxiety but i've never had those to such an extreme level. i'm so scared. i want it to pass. i can't get medical help right now just believe me. i need this to be temporary otherwise i'll have just wished SI didn't interfere even more

 

[BlackEyedDog]

it could be trauma from attempting and anxiety can physically manifest in surprising ways. i ended up in the ER sometime after an attempt and it turned out it was anxiety but it affected my whole body in a way i thought something else was physically wrong with me, i wasn't able to sleep through a night for weeks. i know it may be difficult to talk about, but would you mind sharing what you mean by choking yourself? i think others can give more informed responses if they understood what happened. i have not heard of putting a finger in the mouth as advice for someone having a seizure btw. in the meantime try to breathe, calm your mind. you are certainly experiencing anxiety in some form.

 

[uselessflesh]

it could be trauma from attempting and anxiety can physically manifest in surprising ways. i ended up in the ER sometime after an attempt and it turned out it was anxiety but it affected my whole body in a way i thought something else was physically wrong with me, i wasn't able to sleep through a night for weeks. i know it may be difficult to talk about, but would you mind sharing what you mean by choking yourself? i think others can give more informed responses if they understood what happened. i have not heard of putting a finger in the mouth as advice for someone having a seizure btw. in the meantime try to breathe, calm your mind. you are certainly experiencing anxiety in some form.

thank you for your response! i'm really bad at explaining but now that i can think straight i can probably do a better job; i think it was less literal choking like i said and more of an attempt at making myself pass out by putting pressure on specific parts of my neck. it didn't work but i felt lightheaded and pained afterwards, and i only did it for a few seconds but i guess i put enough pressure to be able to cause trauma for a hopefully temporary amount of time

anxiety is definitely the closest thing i can think of to answer it, even though the onset and experience was so similar to what i always heard a seizure is like, i don't know exactly and i suppose i can figure it out if i get medical help within the next few months and manage to feign a lie about the cause or something

i'm not sure what the advice could have been for in specific either since i never learned much about this stuff (medical advice and the like), so i'll have to ask,,,all i know is that it helped me in the moment so i guess it's something ? but after doing a bit of research i did learn that objects in mouth = bad if it's a seizure. my assumption is that it may have just worked for me because i had more minor symptoms and it soothed the fear that i felt like i was going to bite my tongue off or something. i'll have to keep looking into it though