I once felt the way u do, but what it took to recover from this was some Christian people I had met, they helped me understand why people are like this. But also I watched tons of videos by a bunch of different people about narcissism on YouTube. This helped me get educated on how to identify these people quicker, and also to see my deficits that are causing me to fall into these type of situations. I highly suggest u start watching a channel on YouTube called NarcDaily. It's a good one to start with. Or Narcology unscripted. Joe B House. Narc survivor. ASSC direct. The royal we, societal narcissism. These can help u gain clarity. Sorry u are going thru this.
it will get better don't give up yet I hope.
