I'm so envious of people who CTB easily without trying

[DeathSleep]

Like the people who die ODing on Tylenol or NyQuil. That's so rare. People who just take whatever pills they have on hand trying to get high and they CTB. Or someone runs by and shoots them. Or they trip and hit their head just right and they're gone.
Meanwhile others who are actively trying to CTB can have many failed attempts doing different methods. I'm so frustrated . I just want to die. Why is this so hard? Plus I've been so depressed lately that doing anything is so difficult.

 

[suicidepanda]

I get what you're saying, but often those people don't really mean to even die. think about it in this perspective,

these people who get shot in a drive by, or take too many pills on accident, or bust their head open, these are all accidents. Coming from someone who really wants to die, (you), it's going to be impossible to just make an accident happen. you can't just create an accident because it's well.. an accident. If you try, it's likely you're gonna have to try and try again. You have to always play your cards right, and one day life will take you where you need to be.

 

[hevlalab]

Sorry to hear that you've been so depressed lately. In my opinion, the people you describe die as a result of an accident. If life was fair, then them type of accidents would happen to people who actively want to ctb but life's not fair unfortunately. Life's cruel. I'd give my life to bring someone back from the dead that didn't want to die in a heartbeat. Their life for mine, but it doesn't work that way

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

I feel this on every possible level. I'm never going to stop trying. I just want it to happen already.

 

[sserafim]

Like the people who die ODing on Tylenol or NyQuil. That's so rare. People who just take whatever pills they have on hand trying to get high and they CTB. Or someone runs by and shoots them. Or they trip and hit their head just right and they're gone.
Meanwhile others who are actively trying to CTB can have many failed attempts doing different methods. I'm so frustrated . I just want to die. Why is this so hard? Plus I've been so depressed lately that doing anything is so difficult.

Same! I hate to say this but I'm jealous of them as well. It's lucky that they were able to ctb so easily, and ended up succeeding. I still haven't attempted due to the risk of failure and uncertainty of success. I don't want to be left paralyzed or a vegetable if I were to fail. I wish I could ctb easily and successfully

I feel this on every possible level. I'm never going to stop trying. I just want it to happen already.

I've only tried vsed cause I'm too much of a coward to try anything else, and I only lasted 2 days ugh I hate SI. I wish it were easier to die

 

[FuneralCry]

I also really envy those people as now they are at peace, they are unable to suffer anymore in this dreadful existence, to me only those who no longer exist are truly fortunate, I hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing on our own terms.

 

[luminouss]

I am so jealous of people like that.

 

[Davey36000]

I'm more jealous of people who have easy access to drugs... I would really like to try DMT before ctb, maybe Salvia too and ketamine, and a couple of others, and maybe for ctb itself, fentanyl or stronger analogues like carfentanil...

 

[Nanako]

The fear of failing my attempt is what really scares me, not so much the experience itself.