Venting im so desperate

[aushunaph]

i feel like such a stupid loser because i tried overdosing on 110mg of losartan. obviously it wasn't going to fucking workkkk. i feel so stupid and hopeless because who actually thinks something like that is going to kill them? i just took it hoping that somehow i was going to die, im just way too optimistic and desperate. i wish i had access to literally ANYTHING. there's no rope in the house, i dont have money, the medicine is locked up, no cleaning supplies out, no access to rope, no bridge or high roof nearby, no car, NOTHING. im just so angry and stupid and desperate.