im so alone

[justfloating]

When I first started feeling suicidal I did the stupid thing and reached out thinking it would help and that my friends would support me. Instead, the only two people I was close with both cut me off completely.

I've been completely removed from that friendship and forced to just float around alone. I have people who when I bump into in college I can have a conversation with, but I have absolutely no-one that I can call when I am upset or feeling alone. I feel so isolated and like no-one cares. Sure some of these people would call me their friend but they don't message me first, no-one asks me to hang out, and I don't have anyone I can be honest with about how I'm feeling.

I like this forum because it shows me I'm not the only one experiencing this, but it doesn't make the lunchtimes I spend by myself any less difficult.

I just don't have any real friends and I never thought I would be in this position. I've always struggled making friends because I look like one of the popular girls but I'm way to intimidated to talk to them, and I intimidate everyone else. I've never felt so excluded in my life.

 

[Itzyagirl]

When I first started feeling suicidal I did the stupid thing and reached out thinking it would help and that my friends would support me. Instead, the only two people I was close with both cut me off completely.

I've been completely removed from that friendship and forced to just float around alone. I have people who when I bump into in college I can have a conversation with, but I have absolutely no-one that I can call when I am upset or feeling alone. I feel so isolated and like no-one cares. Sure some of these people would call me their friend but they don't message me first, no-one asks me to hang out, and I don't have anyone I can be honest with about how I'm feeling.

I like this forum because it shows me I'm not the only one experiencing this, but it doesn't make the lunchtimes I spend by myself any less difficult.

I just don't have any real friends and I never thought I would be in this position. I've always struggled making friends because I look like one of the popular girls but I'm way to intimidated to talk to them, and I intimidate everyone else. I've never felt so excluded in my life.

Omg I swear we living the same life I told my homies bout how I felt n they got upset n said they didn't need that negativity in their life and they don't wanna be surrounded by someone who has no will to live but we can talk ur not alone in this website me n many others are here to help and support u with whatever your Decision/ wishes are.

 

[Jean4]

You have us. Develop friendships here. They may be some of the strongest friendships that you have ever had.

 

[justfloating]

Omg I swear we living the same life I told my homies bout how I felt n they got upset n said they didn't need that negativity in their life and they don't wanna be surrounded by someone who has no will to live but we can talk ur not alone in this website me n many others are here to help and support u with whatever your Decision/ wishes are.

one of them cut me off because 'I wasn't in a place to support them' and if that isn't selfish then I don't know what is

 

[Itzyagirl]

one of them cut me off because 'I wasn't in a place to support them' and if that isn't selfish then I don't know what is

Yes that is selfish I'm sorry g that u have to go through all of this :(

 

[ChristopherWalken]

I know how you feel. I can't talk about this with any of my friends because I'm worried they will try to stop me and I know I"m past the point of no return. I did actually tell a couple of friends at different times while drunk and they still stayed my friends. I had to walk back my statements though and just say I was drunk. Now I have to put on a positive face all the time. I spend more time helping my depressed friends now and somehow that is therapeutic.
I kind of opened up to my best friend recently and she was so very helpful. Now I'm totally screwed though because I've fallen in love with her and I think she's figured it out despite my best efforts to conceal my feelings and now I have to distance myself from her and I think she feels the same. I'm absolutely heartbroken but that is a different story.
Your friends sound toxic though if they ditched like that. You CAN make new friends. A long time ago after I brokeup with my ex I realized I had 0 friends. I ended up going out to bars and stuff all by myself, a complete loner, and just talking to random people. It was hard but there is a reason they call alcohol a social lubricant. Sometimes the more ridiculous thing you think to say to people turns out to be the best. I did end up meeting a lot of toxic and uncool people, but I kept trying and a few gems were discovered. To this day they are the best friends in the world and it was by complete chance I met them. Just be cautious with the people you meet but I promise you there are some very good people out there.
This is not the healthiest advice, be very very careful about how much you drink and watch your drink. I'm just relaying my personal experience. Be sure to go to places with a friendly and positive vibe. I've found that ravers are particularly friendly even if you hate the music. Also country and western to some extent believe it or not. Actually this is not the best advice at all but it ended up working out for me.

 

[selfhater]

i'm sorry i hope u feel less alone here ♡ *hugs*

 

[gnomeboy17]

I feel the exact same way (18, south England) it's really difficult to make/keep friends at school, for a lot of people, but whilst dealing with mental health makes it 100X harder.

As cliché as it sounds, remember, you are not alone, many people here and everywhere feel the same as you. I struggle to make friends but I'm trying to chat more with people. It's not easy, I know.

 

[Mistry420]

London and being 26 with no friends or family ! Depressing I just cry most nights, this place does relax my anxiety, I just calmly read through threads where I'm relating to each and every person
I literally started my day kinda positive and now I'm thinking of quick painless ways to just end it, isolation is the worst enemy of mental illness, that's why this place is good, we have the conversations no one is comfortable enough to have

 

[justfloating]

I know how you feel. I can't talk about this with any of my friends because I'm worried they will try to stop me and I know I"m past the point of no return. I did actually tell a couple of friends at different times while drunk and they still stayed my friends. I had to walk back my statements though and just say I was drunk. Now I have to put on a positive face all the time. I spend more time helping my depressed friends now and somehow that is therapeutic.
I kind of opened up to my best friend recently and she was so very helpful. Now I'm totally screwed though because I've fallen in love with her and I think she's figured it out despite my best efforts to conceal my feelings and now I have to distance myself from her and I think she feels the same. I'm absolutely heartbroken but that is a different story.
Your friends sound toxic though if they ditched like that. You CAN make new friends. A long time ago after I brokeup with my ex I realized I had 0 friends. I ended up going out to bars and stuff all by myself, a complete loner, and just talking to random people. It was hard but there is a reason they call alcohol a social lubricant. Sometimes the more ridiculous thing you think to say to people turns out to be the best. I did end up meeting a lot of toxic and uncool people, but I kept trying and a few gems were discovered. To this day they are the best friends in the world and it was by complete chance I met them. Just be cautious with the people you meet but I promise you there are some very good people out there.
This is not the healthiest advice, be very very careful about how much you drink and watch your drink. I'm just relaying my personal experience. Be sure to go to places with a friendly and positive vibe. I've found that ravers are particularly friendly even if you hate the music. Also country and western to some extent believe it or not. Actually this is not the best advice at all but it ended up working out for me.

my not close friends know a bit about whats been going on because drunk me is a blabbermouth, but I cant properly confide in them. im just putting on an act for everyone so that I don't have literally no-one

I thought my old friend were good people and that they would be there for me, just goes to show that you never really know someone

 

[SamuelMortem]

I'm in a similar situation. I sacrificed a lot of my health for my friends, and after that they soon got rid of me. Now I'm stuck with more issues than before, and no one to go to. I feel you friend, I understand that pain. Good luck to you.

 

[to_rid_the_disease]

I'm so sorry you feel this way and that this has happened to you. A lot of people unfortunately don't really know how to react when someone close to them has depression/is suicidal etc so they distance themselves. Maybe they were scared or were worried they couldn't help you. Just know that you have us here if you need anything. And don't give up trying to connect with others. There will always be people who want to get to know you. It just may take a little while to find them. I lost a lot of friends through life but I know it wasn't always my fault. It hurts, yes but true friends will always stick by you. I think my nature doesn't always help things (I'm very lazy when it comes contacting people and like my own company a lot. Anyone else feel like that?)

 

[justfloating]

I'm so sorry you feel this way and that this has happened to you. A lot of people unfortunately don't really know how to react when someone close to them has depression/is suicidal etc so they distance themselves. Maybe they were scared or were worried they couldn't help you. Just know that you have us here if you need anything. And don't give up trying to connect with others. There will always be people who want to get to know you. It just may take a little while to find them. I lost a lot of friends through life but I know it wasn't always my fault. It hurts, yes but true friends will always stick by you. I think my nature doesn't always help things (I'm very lazy when it comes contacting people and like my own company a lot. Anyone else feel like that?)

Yeah like I understand it isn't a nice thing to hear that someone is feeling that way, and I also understand that they wouldn't know what to do. But they didn't say, what can I do to help, or anything if the sort. They just fucked off

 

[Rome Horseman]

I will be your friend!! I'm not much, but we can be buddies..


I'm lonely as well