Venting I’m so afraid of death

[Pancake]

I've done some pretty messed up things and I'm never going to get over them. I was set on departing about a year ago (maybe two, I'm not good with time), but I met someone that turned my life around. That person is gone now. No reason to be here, and ever since they left me I've never felt worse. Before I met them, I was ready to do it. Actually, it was more that I was indifferent to even my own life and offing myself was convenient. Now, though, I'm so very afraid. I wouldn't feel so sad anymore and it'd be a little easier for some people if I was gone, but those reasons aren't enough for me anymore. Anytime I think about suicide I get goosebumps. I want to do it, so very badly, but I'm so scared. I've never felt crappier than at any point in my life, I really wanna do it, but I can't. I'm too cowardly.

 

[sizuen]

I get you.. i had a failed ctb 3 years ago then now i developed intense fear of death..
Life has been really rough lately.. but again once we are on our last straw the method/ctb will come to us.. that the fear of death is so small compared to fear of life.. but until i suggest just distract yourself for the mean time idk how but thats just how you have to deal with it as long as the fear of death is inside our hearts its almost imposibble to do it.. again time will come where ctb will come to us for the mean time lets suck it all up. Message me if you need someone to talk to

 

[Lost Magic]

Survival instinct can be a very powerful thing and hoping things will get better. I get it. I believe many of us feel or have felt that way about dying.

 

[glassskin]

Same. I don't want to be here, but I'm too afraid to die. Fear of the unknown I guess.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I think everyone here struggles with that. I think even it'd be an issue for people Funeral Fry if it came down to it.

Here are my suggestions I'm trying to implement myself:

Try to focus on it as a "fast-forwarding". You're only bringing out what is inevitable anyways.

Spend some time daily on reflecting and meditating on non-existence. Try to imagine what it's "like".

Consider that millions of people have embraced death themselves and that billions have faced death in general. I wrote a more detailed post about this point.

Consider why you're choosing to kill yourself in the first place. What will death bring you that you're seeking? Focus on that (for instance, never having to experience the pain that life has caused you and will continue to cause you again).

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's very much understandable having fears of suicide methods or the dying process because after all actually going through with suicide isn't something that is straightforward. But I could never fear death itself, as I believe death to be just nothingness where we won't even be aware of the fact that we are gone. The thought of non existence actually is something that's always been comforting to me as it's the end to this futile process and the non existent cannot suffer.

 

[TheDizzenter]

Everything that we don't know and we can't confirm, but can be the so " end for us " quite fear us.
At least of experience, the day It was minutes to die, I will tell you.
I was dreaming peacefully.
Strangely, death is a destiny which, we can't even expect, maybe even when you are thinking of take your life, your life can end before, since It's full of surprises.
It's okay, your brain is aware and pull the panic reaction, that trigger. But yet, remember, the destiny of us, is death.

Take your first breathe and you can already read your own destiny: Underground or burned if you rather cremate

 

[outrider567]

I'm not, not anymore

 

[Naro]

Have you tried talking with someone or therapy(dunno how good therapy is) or anything of the sorts?

 

[leavingsoon99]

It's understandable to be afraid of death. Afterall, none of us have ever died before. However, I see it from this perspective...

Death can't be a bad thing, because it's built into the life program. Just like winter is built into the cycle of seasons. So, there's no sense in dreading it nor hating it. Winter can actually be fun and pleasant if one prepares for it. I see death in the same way. Life isn't for me, and I'm preparing my spirit and mind for death. It's inevitable, and therefore not to be feared.

 

[Pancake]

I think everyone here struggles with that. I think even it'd be an issue for people Funeral Fry if it came down to it.

Here are my suggestions I'm trying to implement myself:

Try to focus on it as a "fast-forwarding". You're only bringing out what is inevitable anyways.

Spend some time daily on reflecting and meditating on non-existence. Try to imagine what it's "like".

Consider that millions of people have embraced death themselves and that billions have faced death in general. I wrote a more detailed post about this point.

Consider why you're choosing to kill yourself in the first place. What will death bring you that you're seeking? Focus on that (for instance, never having to experience the pain that life has caused you and will continue to cause you again).

I try to imagine what it's like and that's what I'm so afraid of. If it's nothing I guess that wouldn't be so bad. But what if it is something? Something utterly painful.. I can't shake that feeling.

Nevertheless, I think your advice will help me. Thank you.

Have you tried talking with someone or therapy(dunno how good therapy is) or anything of the sorts?

The person I would talk to is gone. I told them everything. Now that they're gone it's like everything I ever said never happened. I feel like I'm back at square one, except a little worse.

I'm a little iffy in therapy. My parents aren't too big on mental health and I'm afraid they'll get mad at me if I ask. They'd probably think it's useless.

 

[Source Energy]

I'm not, not anymore

me neither. I came so close too many times, now there's no more fear