Venting I'm sitting on the couch and nobody knows I'm planning to ctb

[Toonloon]

I'm so fucking alone. Nobody cares about me. I'm literally watching a documentary about suicide in my living room right now. I'm hiding tears. I'm just so fucking depressed.

Nobody in my house Knows how depressed I really am. My fucking asshole brother is in therapy too. He's the type of asshole who tells everyone in the family how he feels. And let's us know he's in therapy.

I've been in therapy on and off 4 years. Nobody knows. I have attempted ctb over a dozen times. Nobody ever knew.
My stomach is full of scars from cutting myself. Guys think it's from having a baby but NOPE. They are from broken glass and knives.

This documentary is literally me as a kid. It's called Boy Interrupted.
It's shining light on how some people are just born suicidal.
Some kids really just want to die.
For no reason. It's just biology.
I'm literally ranting like a loon.

I'm just so fucking alone and miserable. I want to die.

 

[Depressed_7]

Im sorry you're suffering so much.

 

[NMOP3PISdn]

I'm so fucking alone. Nobody cares about me. I'm literally watching a documentary about suicide in my living room right now. I'm hiding tears. I'm just so fucking depressed.

Nobody in my house Knows how depressed I really am. My fucking asshole brother is in therapy too. He's the type of asshole who tells everyone in the family how he feels. And let's us know he's in therapy.

I've been in therapy on and off 4 years. Nobody knows. I have attempted ctb over a dozen times. Nobody ever knew.
My stomach is full of scars from cutting myself. Guys think it's from having a baby but NOPE. They are from broken glass and knives.

This documentary is literally me as a kid. It's called Boy Interrupted.
It's shining light on how some people are just born suicidal.
Some kids really just want to die.
For no reason. It's just biology.
I'm literally ranting like a loon.

I'm just so fucking alone and miserable. I want to die.

Would you feel better if you were noticed by someone in your house?

 

[FuneralCry]

Being alive really is horrible. I know that loneliness can be painful for many people. I'm sorry you are going through this, I wish you the best. I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[peach75]

I know you're planning suicide, but i won't tell anyone else, promise.

 

[Kennish]

I have always felt alone. Even with people loving me and around me. People actually like me. Or they have at least. My feelings are all on the outside. I've been suicidal since teens. I truly believe some kids just are suicidal like you say.

I've been dealt the wrong cards in this game. I wasn't meant to be here, I really wasn't. My parents didn't know how to be parents, and that was not good for me, because I was born unstable. Maybe if I was in a more stable environment it would have been better. But noo.

I guess we're just not meant to be here. I don't get why we suffer so much. Why bother being born if all we do is suffer? I really don't get it. There's a billion (well I don't know, but it's alot) sperm cells swimming towards the egg, and why is it the sperm cell that have bad genetics and doesnt want to live, that gets to the egg?

It's beyond my imagination

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

That doc was well done. Poor kid was doomed. Most of us here have carried this darkness with us from the very beginning or thereabouts. It's like carrying a sack of rocks on our back. Sabotaging ourselves at every moment.

 

[obliviousatbest]

It's miserable to feel so deathly amongst the living. I found Boy Interrupted years ago and Evans story has haunted me ever since, it's such a morbidly relatable film. I'm sorry you feel so isolated in your suffering, I hope the days are better to you and bring you the peace you need.